16 December 2008

Dreaming of a not-so-white Christmas!

It's difficult to believe that in a couple of weeks, 2008 will be over! Kinda scary...but I love this season! It's gift receiving time, and I'm such a sucker for all things free and given :-) Just the other day, I got chocolates and super sinful tasty cake from an anonymous gifter. Bozo also got a card and a bone from I'm guessing the same anonymous person.

I'm leaving for home tomorrow, and I look forward to spending some free, restful time at home with my folks. But I am going to miss Bozo enormously :( After all, who else can pee with excitement on seeing me?

On to other things, did you see the news about Bush being thrown a shoe at and his 'size 10' comment? I just loved the man after that comment. And I thought it was such a shame that lots of people including Americans went around saying the man deserved it. No matter what he did, I thought it was just wrong of the thrower to be that disrespectful towards a leader of a country. And Americans not even knowing how and when to stand up for their own president is just sad!

Enough about politics, this is also resolutions making time, and I already have some idea about what my 2009 resolutions should be - learn to swim, see the Valley of flowers, learn a new language. Suggestions are welcome, of course, no promise that your suggestion will be taken seriously :P

We had a quiet farewell dinner already, because we're all leaving this week. And only Bozo and Orpi will be around in Hyderabad for Christmas. Poor things! I'll miss them both, even though I'm going to be away for only a couple of weeks.
Anyway, wish me a safe and happy trip! And have a happy a beautiful, lovely Christmas and New Year!

10 December 2008

The language of our dreams

Marian has been frequently talking in her sleep, and funnily, she talks only in English when she does this. But it got me thinking - what language are my thoughts in? Or my dreams for that matter? Are thoughts really processed in words, languages, sentences, and even subject to (God forbid) grammar? Or is thought not restricted to such rules or attributes at all but we just think they are because when they are processed and ready and we get them out they are in the form of words and sentences?

But if it were, are you aware of what language you think in?

And when you dream, even when you remember exactly what you said or heard in the dream, do you ever remember if it was in any specific language the next day? For me, it's always just conversation that I remember, talking, exchanging ideas, communication, but language? I never remember.

There's this one dream I had - a little kid that hung on to my arms and when I told him to let me go, he kept chanting "Not unless you promise to take me home with you!" I told my sister about it the next day, and when I told her that part, she jokingly said "So you dream in English!"

But to contradict this, I had another incident to prove that I don't dream in English. At least not always. I was sharing a hotel room with a colleague, and one night I was sleeping and dreaming (hazy dreams I remember), and my friend was watching TV. I woke up at some point, and asked her what the time was. "What?" she said. I repeated the question. "What??" she said again, I asked her again, to which to again asked me back "What??!" I was pretty mad by this time, and asked her what was wrong with her, and if she'd gone deaf. She, equally angry, shot back "How the hell would I know? You're speaking Mizo!" So I must have been dreaming in Mizo...

I think the way the brain works is so complicated that sometimes your tongue and your dreams can't catch up. I often suddenly use Mizo words with my friends who don't understand a word of Mizo. Some of them are quite used to words like 'Chuan,' and 'Mahse' now. When I talk too fast, I think I mix up words without even realising it. So what's the one failing to catch up? My tongue or my brain?

Then there was that time I was buying something from some small shop in a tiny village in Mizoram, and without thinking asked "Kitna?" :-)

I also had a friend who didn't really speak anything other than Mizo. He was trying hard to study English, French, and Hindi all at the same time and I think his brain worked the same way as mine does now because whenever he wanted to say "My name is Kima" in French, he would always end up saying "Je m'apelle Kima hai" - notice the Hindi hai?

And he was a sleeptalker too, and always talked in English or Hindi when he talks in his sleep. But in his consciousness, he never spoke anything other than Mizo.

Sometimes I think we may be we are more brilliant in sleep than we are awake.

08 December 2008

A post of poor taste

Aren't the mornings just so divine these days! They feel almost like my childhood Mizoram winters, just minus the chilling cold. And I love it so much that I go to bed early every night just so I can rise early the next day. And I'd wake up early, and a sleepy Bozo trying to appreciate the morning as much as I do but failing miserably would just melt my heart.

It's such a good thing to wake up feeling so much love I thank God for Bozo because he makes me think good and clean thoughts, and because my day starts so well, in thoughts and in actions, I think the quality of my days and everything else in my life has improved with it.

I also stay in most nights because I'd rather be warm and cosy at home with an adoring Bozo than be out with friends with loud music and loud voices. Bozo is really good for me, I'm an overall better person because of him.I'm only afraid that my friends may start resenting him because they complain about how I never join them anymore and how I stay home all the time, and they know it's because of Bozo. How do I explain that this is what I've always wanted to do but haven't been able to, but that Bozo helps me in achieving to some degree an attempt at self-improvement, that he's not the cause at all? Unfortunately, this part of me hasn't improved too much - my inability to explain me accurately.

Anyway, I was talking about mornings. I think it's because everything is beautiful I feel nostalgic all the time. I miss people all the time - sometimes my sisters and my mom, but mostly Kal-El.

Kal-El, my beautiful disaster, who drowns in his dreams, soft to the touch but frayed at the end and breaks, magic and myth, as strong as what I believe, as damned as he seems but more heaven than a heart could hold, a tragedy with more damage than a soul should see...He's never enough, and still he's more than I can take.....More mostly, he's just never enough.

Corniness overload :P

Back to a different kind of corny, we have a blog for Bozo :-) Please visit it if you have a couple of minutes to kill. I know this sounds kind of disgusting, I hate people throwing little parties for their cats and go crooning 'cho-chweeeet' and make smooching sounds and all that crap. Always made me want to bop them on the head and tell them to shut up. But this I guarantee is not annoying, cheesy maybe, but not annoying!

Bozo's blog is here.

If you think it's annoying, don't forget I tried to warn you on the post title.

And oh, our new video. Our version of M Sailo's Hmeltha sensiar :)

27 November 2008

Luck's sure been a lady!

I was supposed to leave for Mumbai today, and I can't believe what happened last night and still going on in Mumbai right now. People are saying oh it's so sad what's happening in Mumbai but honestly, right now, I don't feel sadness, I'm just angry. I can't feel anything else.

I canceled my tickets, travel guy told me I didn't cancel within the specified cancelable 24 hours, so no refund. Story of my life. I don't even care. At this point, I can choose to be difficult and sulk about not getting back my money, or just be happy and thankful that I am here alive and well.

I can't get over what a close shave it was. Our only plans for this Mumbai weekend was shopping and Cafe Leopold, so watching the news last night of Cafe Leopold's overturned chairs and tables and empty bullet shells, I just had to thank my lucky stars that I was just a day away from being there. I could've been one of the bodies they were wheeling away!

But enough of all this. All the world's talking about now is Mumbai, and pain, and killing, and I know good people in the world are praying for the victims. But if you feel like you need to taken away from all this, and to be reminded that despite all this ugliness, there is so much sweetness and beauty in this world that you never ever want to die, these pictures of Bozo will definitely do the trick for you :-)

20 November 2008

This is not Wright - II

Number 2 woe: On number 1, I cribbed about never sitting next to someone cute. Number 2 woe arises when fate deflects from that woeful path, and takes a different woeful path. You actually run into someone cute, but what happens then.

Well, not a lot to write. This is simple - if you meet someone hot in or around an airport, what will happen are any one of the following -

(1) He caught you doing something dumb & embarrassing.
(2) He saw you being caught doing something dumb & embarrassing.
(3) He talks to you, and you say something dumb & embarrassing.

Example 1: I'd just landed at this airport, and just when I was walking out, I saw this hottest-ever security guy. He stopped me, and in his deep, manly, sexy voice said "Miss, your paper says you have an animal product with you. May I ask what it is?"

Me: "Ummm..ahh..a dead Octopus."

Hot Security guy: "What??!"

Me: "It's dry. It's not fresh." (Nothing better to say)

Hot Security guy: "Well Miss, I'm not sure what our rules are regarding dried Octopuses, can you please go and talk to (some other officer)." (Trying to suppress a smile I could tell)

And no, don't ask me what I was doing with an Octopus in my bag. Too long a story, and too embarrassing.

(But the extra dumbness that I wasn't caught for was this: I thought I had only one Octopus, and Homeland Security was none the wiser it seemed. But when I finally reached home, my 6 year old cousin gave it a quick glance, and pronounced with his many missing teeth that there were two. I laughed, called him silly, told him I knew because I was the one who got it, and it was just one. "Octopuses have 8 arms, there are 16 arms in there" he said without a hint of showiness while the rest of my family smirked.)

Example 2: Another airport, and the security check-in line was longer than we expected, and unbelievably rigorous. We were even asked to take off our shoes and belts. We were getting late, and in our hurry to pack, and also because we were packing in the dark half-asleep, we had stuffed a whole bunch of liquids on our cabin bags, so we had to go back out, move or discard the unwanted items, then get back in line. By the time we were through security checks for the second time, we had about 5 minutes to get to our plane. And it was a massive airport, so we took off running without putting our shoes or our belts back on.

I will never forget what I wore that day. Black pants that were a size too big, which kept falling down my waist, and carrying my luggage with both hands, and running like a world champion sprinter meant my pants couldn't get a lot of help from my hands. I could hear our names being called out, and we ran frantically, barefoot, my pants falling and half my underwear showing. I think my friend had it better because his jeans at least fit.

We missed our plane anyway. And I was so angry, because the person at the counter actually admitted that our plane was still on the ground. We must've been quite a sight - no-shoes-all underpants me begging and pleading with tears in my eyes, my smartly dressed but barefooted friend trying to drag me away. I finally gave up, turned around to walk towards the waiting area, and what did I see? A Brad Pitt look-alike amusedly staring at us. And as we passed, he gave a little smile, a "Lady-where-are-your-shoes-and-by-the-way-your-undies-are-showing" smile :(

My friend got me coffee, with a packet of creamer, which when I put into my coffee didn't mix at all! So I tasted it, and found out it was mayonnaise and not creamer. I am not a crier at all, but that day it was difficult to keep myself from sobbing out loud. My friend tried to comfort me saying it was alright.

But it's not easy to say it's alright when you've just missed your plane, and you just humiliated yourself by running through the airport barefoot, and tons of people saw your underwear, and you have mayonnaise in your coffee.

And all while Brad Pitt-2 stared away.

**sigh** Why oh why do hot men only appear while I'm a total joke?!

17 November 2008

This is not Wright! (My Airplane Woes - I)

Many things are right about flying high above the earth, but then, there are so many things that are not - right from booking tickets to landing and walking out of a plane! You're never really safe until you're at least a few kilometres away from the nearest airport. I have so many woes I will have to break this up into several small parts.

First, starting with airplane woe # 1 - Why in the world do I never get seated next to a hot guy in a plane?! It's a modest enough wish - to want to sit next to a hot guy, or even if not physically hot, someone who is capable of mind-blowing conversation to help kill the time. I don't expect it to happen every time I step inside a plane, but I think it's fair to hope for some good luck just once in a while. I mean, how simple is that? Especially when you're on a 24+ long flight, when your butt aches, and your muscles cramp, and you're bored stiff, a nice guy would definitely help.

But no. Never happens, not once in a while, not ever! I sit next to sleepers, snorers, annoying children, very old people, or just rude-looking people, the type that looks at you like you're prey, or people I share no common language with - EVERY damn time! There will be cute guys in the plane, fate will just see to it they are seated as far away from you as possible.

I was on such a morbidly long flight once, hoping that I'd get someone fun. And guess who I landed? This man from Punjab, 60 something, spoke no English, French, or Mizo :P Hungry all the time, complained a lot about the Indian meals they served, and when he wanted extra bread (or anything else), he would just raise his hand, and shout at the top 0f his voice 'P-R-R-E-A-D'! And me sitting on the aisle seat meant almost all the heads that turned to look would only see me.

I think this is a joke that fate likes to play on me. I mean, just think, what are the chances of landing a Punjabi seatmate in San Francisco!? Not a lot right? But yep, it happened to me! And that is just one of many instances.

Airplane woe # 2 - Woe, because all my life's saving is with big airplane companies, and not in my bank savings as they should be. What the frig is with the airfares in India?! I just went and booked tickets for my Christmas trip home. I had a friend with me who was booking tickets for her Christmas trip to Zurich. And I will understand if you think I am lying, but I paid only Rs 100 less for my Aizawl ticket than she did for her Zurich ticket!

Zurich, Switzerland from Hyderabad, India, and Mizoram, India from Hyderabad, India - a 9+ hour long flight, and a 3.45 hour long flight, both round-trip flights, and just a hundred rupees difference. Yeah I know, WHAT THE HELL!

Incidentally, this same airfare to Mizoram is more than what I paid for my Thailand tickets. But why am I even wasting my breath? I should be used to this great land where we are forced to pay first class prices for third class services all the time! But I'm still so unsatisfied with Indian Airlines and their crappy planes, sulky attendants, and terrible food (esp. Kol-Azl flight ).

(And yes, if you have been dreaming of a trip to Switzerland, but have always thought it'd be too expensive, it's not if you can afford to travel within India. You can afford it, so go in peace and book your tickets now. It really is that cheap!)

Airplane woe #3 - Air Deccan and their stupid no-refund policy! You know how they have that thing about canceling, but not getting your money back, but having to redeem that amount minus cancellation charges to book other flights with them within 6 months. Well, I think that's got to be the most ridiculous, absurd, money-grabbing scheme ever! What if it's someone that don't even travel a lot?

I once booked a flight for almost Rs 7000 that I had to cancel later. Naturally, since I had all those funds stuck with them, I had to fly Air Deccan even though I think they suck big time, so I used the money to book a Rs 2000 flight a few weeks later. I traveled several times during the course of the remaining 6 months, but had to travel by different airlines as Deccan didn't have tickets available for my desired times/dates. And before I knew it, my 6 months was up, leaving my Rs 4000 something balance stranded with Deccan. Air Deccan, is this kinda like a punishment for canceling my flight in the first place? Well anyway, f*** you and I will never book any of my flights with you again, even if it means traveling by donkeys! And much safer not to anyway, all their planes look and sound like they can fall apart any minute.

Also, Thai Airways took almost a month (or was it even more than a month) to process my refund. Anyway, what is it with these airlines in India? I'm afraid all my frustration with them will kill my love for traveling. And I know they are never quite this difficult in other countries. When it comes to horrid customer service, I think a lot of these airlines are second only to....Citibank. Citibank's customer service is the stuff of nightmares, so I won't even go there.

Whew! End of part 1. And if I come across as a major whiner, and I know I may be one at this point, but I'm really only angry that I have all this Christmas shopping to do, and my iPod died, which means I need a new one, and all my friends seem to be having their birthdays this time of the year, so that's a lot of expenses, AND then booking all these flight tickets is no way to be Mother Teresa-like for sure!

13 November 2008

Old photographs

Been uncovering a few here and there, and they're hilarious. They always make me either cry or laugh, or both. In a really good way.

First, the old, old days....
"Only in sleep I see their faces,
Children I played with when I was a child...

- Z.M School - Mount Carmel
Only in sleep Time is forgotten --
What may have come to them, who can know?
Yet we played last night as long ago,...

- St.Paul's High
The years had not sharpened their smooth round faces,
I met their eyes and found them mild --
Do they, too, dream of me, I wonder,
And for them, am I too a child?

Then, the recent old days :-) .....

Those college days, and the worries, and the hard work...
And the craziness! Decking up your male housemates in your clothes...and what made it priceless is the sense to take a picture of them all decked up. [B - forgive me, I couldn't resist! But you're not recognisable anyway :)]
And my first job, and getting my hard work officially recognised for the first time - IBM & the 'Shoorveer Award' :-)
(And how in the world did I not notice that cute guy with the cute smile at the time?!)

06 November 2008

Buy me a rose

I have been working so hard these past few months have been a blurry haze to me. Office work, house work - both. I have always felt ashamed to be 'young' and healthy and able-bodied but to be hiring a maid to wash my clothes, clean my room, wash my floors, cook me food. ..so I don't, much to the chagrin of most of my friends who believe a maid is one of the basic necessities of life.

'Hired helps are cheap, so why not?' they say, and sometimes I ask myself the same question. But the thing is, I just don't want to. And I know no maid will clean or cook as well as I do :-) I'm painful that way because when it comes to work - of any kind , there's no one I trust more than myself. So there. That's why I am maid-less to this day. And probably will be for the rest of my life - or as long as I'm able.

But the flip side of all this is when life gets too hectic, and I work my ass off, and I go home and even if all I want is something as simple as a nice cup of tea, I have to do it all myself - on any normal working day. We do get to go on nice trips and vacations, but when vacations are over and you're back, tired from long trips, and there is dusting and unpacking and suitcase full of laundry to be done - and who else to do them but yourself? So even taking vacations are not all that restful, the aftermath is just too tiresome.

I was bemoaning my fate to a very sympathetic friend one night. "I wrack my brain trying to think of ways to make my clients happy, to make my family or friends happy, to make their lives easier, all the running arounds I do for them but there's no one trying to make my life better!" (Selfish selfish I know, but still...I can lament a bit can't I?).

My friend, caring and loving as he was, was alarmed to see me like that because I am most of the time annoyingly chirpy. "Tell me what you want me to do for you and I'll do it!" he said. I said there was nothing. "What do you want? I'll get it for you" he offered. Men always think 'buying' is the solution to everything. He immediately thought what I wanted was something to be bought, something available in a store...But the thing is, if buying something was to make me that happy, if it was that simple, I would buy it myself. And even if someone buying me something would make me happy, it's just not that special when they do it because you asked for it. I want something that's unasked for, even if it's just a cup of tea.

As sweet as the sentiment was, it just made me unfairly angry with him. I know I have wonderful people in my life who genuinely love me and care for me. But sometimes I think they all think I'm Super Woman - made of steel. But I want some pampering sometimes. Have you heard of Kenny Roger's 'Buy Me a Rose' - that would pretty much sum up what I'm trying to say, just without the romantic connotation.

He thinks she wants a three car garage
Her own credit cards
If he could only read her mind
She'd say -

Buy me a rose,
Call me from work,
Open a door for me,
What would it hurt
Show me you love me
By the look in your eyes
These are the little things
I need the most in my life...

Or maybe I should just focus more on what I have. When I went away last week without telling anyone, and most of the time keeping my phone locked in my hotel room, Superman on my last day finally called a friend of mine who happened to be sitting right next to me at the time so I took the call. He yelled at me - "Why did you go away like that without saying anything!? Where is your phone? Why were all my calls unanswered? Not answering emails, never present online! I have been worried sick!" But to know that I was alive more or less satisfied him. Maybe that's as good as buying me an unasked-for rose?

Maybe not :(

04 November 2008

Thusly back

Really want to write long, boring, lengthy post, but way too laden with work - emails waiting to be written, voicemails begging to be played, clients to pamper, nails to paint, stomach to be fed, eyelashes to flutter....

But I really hate cobwebbed blogs, so I'm leaving pictures, just for the sake of an update. This is where I was for the last 7 days. No, not the Coroner's office like some feared. Thankfully :-)
The company I kept :-)

And oh, almost forgot - my new tattoos :P

22 October 2008

Vacation-less me!

Did I mention that I finally canceled my Thailand trip? I don't know how to feel about it, Macavity and the rest of the gang are in Phuket right now, except for Sohna - who is in Switzerland. And yours truly here is in good ole Hyderabad, same people, same haunts, same cheap thrills - not to forget the shit load of work that the vacationers have left. The worst part is that they all left on the same weekend, which makes my situation seem a bit more morose.

Then again, I don't mind so much. I'm going away myself soon so no harm in taking care of work now which will just be nightmares if I go away now.

Anyway, look what I found!
And look where they ended up :-)
That's right, in our house.

I have been craving Maian for ages so finding this was like Manna from the skies. Despite it growing on the very poshiest, richest part of town, despite all the super fancy mansions right next to it, we went and filled 3 plastic bags unashamedly.

I didn't mind the puzzled and amused looks from the passers-by, but I ended up with a major rash on my hands. Ran to doc, who put me on a week's medication. But they are like the best Maian I've ever had, so worth every single rash. And I'm wiser, now I know how unpleasant it is to pluck those leaves, I will not complain anymore if I think a 'maian tel' in Mizoram is overpriced.

On to other things - meet the neighbourhood :-) Zorock and the object of our envy: Brownie! Not the kids, the Saint Bernard pup.
Anyway, we learned that some of the families in our apartment keep dogs, so we went and adopted a pup from Apatea. No more eyeing other people's Luckys or Brownies. At least until my flat-owner finds out :(
I love having a dog of our own although he keeps me in a tizzy. We call him Bozo because he looks like Bozo the clown. I get up earlier so I can take him out before I leave for work. And I go home earlier so I can take him out. I take him out 3 times at night, so he's not only good for my emotional health, but my physical health as well.

And the last picture - we're thinking of starting a new fashion line. Think this is something that will catch on?

21 October 2008

My cricket run (ins)

(I'm making unworthy blog posts now because I have way too much on my work platter and I don't even know where to start and I'm angry at people and things and I feel zonked and just all round pissy. So, a mental trip away - far from the madding crowd to forget this bog that I'm in.)

Okay - this piece of update is totally funny. I was out with my friends one night last weekend, and sat around watching while my friends played pool with some other guys. We all exchanged hellos and stuff with them - the usual polite & friendly routine that one does with strangers - talked some, laughed some.

I saw some guys walk up to the pool players with a camera, exchanged a few words, took a picture with them then left. "What was that!? Are you famous or something?" I joked. Someone else answered and said yes, he's a cricket player, don't you know him. I said no. no watch cricket. no understand. "'But can I take a picture just in case you're really famous?" I joked further. We laughed about it and took some pictures. Like so -Woke up the next day, and on my way to work, I saw this big poster of some cricket promo thingy on the back of a bus. And guess whose faces peered back at me?! That's right - the pool playing guys. Dayum! Turns out they really are famous. Absolute neatness!

(An update within an update: I couldn't remember their names the next day, but a friend here just told me that one of them is Chris Harris, the other one's name - anyone?)

The cricket loving guys in the office are going ga-ga over my luck. And badgering me for information on where I met them and how. But I'm not telling, I don't want everyone to go meet them and dilute the cuteness and exclusiveness of my experience. I will brag a bit first, and maybe then...

Despite spending a lot of time at airports and airplanes, I never get the luck to be in the same plane as a famous person, or the luck to catch a glimpse of a celeb, while all my friends seem to have had at least one celeb sighting or the other at some airport or the other. I remember Cousin Unreal once ran into Kapil Dev, and even got him to sign her butt when we were in college (Even though she'd never seen him play even once, and it may have been a piece of paper that he signed..memory hazy) :-D

Now fate, be kind to me and let me run into someone like...Gerard Butler! I can think of 300 undiluted things I'd do to him :P

14 October 2008

hehe This picture of me and my friends is so funny! Look at Harsha, she's the one in the middle. She's Sindhi, but looking at that picture, wouldn't you think she was Asian?!

13 October 2008

Words have meaning and names have power

I love interesting names, particularly Hebrew names. For me, more than anything, what a name means is important. I love my name, even though for the first maybe 16-17 years of my life, I hated it. I had to endure a lot of teasing because of it, when I walked in the streets, it was common to hear people singing 'Jerusalem nute'n an fate Isua hnenah....' or 'Jerusalem lamah tukverh I hawng em?..' :-)

My housemates have pretty interesting names -

Marian (Hebrew) - Sea of bitterness (Also Egyptian, which luckily means 'My beloved')

Orpah/Orpi in Mizo (Hebrew/Latin) - She who turned her back (because she was disloyal and turned her back on her mother-in-law)

Tina (Old English/Latin) - river

Quite honestly, not names I would give my children ever :)

My name is also Hebrew, it means 'married' or 'possessed/possession,' but in essence, they mean the same thing. Once a woman is married, she becomes her husband's possession. In the name, it doesn't mean physically married, but being spiritually owned. It means I am God's possession. It's a very blessed name.

When I have a son, I am going to name him Uriel (Hebrew) - "fire of God," also analogous to Uriah - "the Lord is my light" - after the archangel Uriel, and also partly after Uriah of the Bible, the soldier David ordered killed. I've always liked that man, he was a man of honor - "And Uriah said unto David, The ark, and Israel, and Judah, abide in tents; and my lord Joab, and the servants of my lord, are encamped in the open fields; shall I then go into mine house, to eat and to drink, and to lie with my wife? as thou livest, and as thy soul liveth, I will not do this thing." - 2 Samuel 11

I'm not sure about girl names, but I think I would like to name my daughter Elisheba (Hebrew) – “My God is my oath” or Anaiah (Hebrew) - Whom God answers (this name is male originally but I think it sounds kind of feminine). As a parent, giving the 'right' names to my children would be a way of blessing them. I know I would feel very blessed to be christened with a name like Anaiah, whom God answers! Much more special than being named Cindy, or Baby, or Julie, Tommy, Timmy et al - for no reason at all, or after random rock stars, or even worse, politicians.

Other than names with religious meanings, I also like names of seasons and months of the year. I know an Autumn, a girl, a June, a May, and an April . I met a man called Winter once - sexy man, sexy name. Me and my friends developed crushes at first sight. I don't know what I found attractive more, the name or the man himself :D I think I may even have a picture lying around...

There, found one! Cropped to death and hazy but you can tell he looks very 'Winter' haha! That's him standing behind me, he called me James though (because my helmet had James Bond written on it), not a very flattering name for a crush to call you by I must admit :P

Other names I like:
1. Gabriel - the Lord is my might
2. Jonathan - gift of God
3. Pi Hangi
4. Chirhchohpuii
5. Biangtaituki


Something I found out while researching names - Orpah/Orpi, Ruth's sister-in-law of the Bible is the giant Goliath's mother! Did you know that?

08 October 2008

Hyderabad and us - updates

1. Ganesh Chaturthi is over, and the gods are now finally resting on the shores..
But it's Dussehra tomorrow - according to Macavity, the day Durga vanquished Ravana :-) I know enough to know she's wrong and to find it funny, but not enough to correct her. And that's okay, I'm just happy that it's holiday tomorrow.

2. Hoarding at the train station warning coolies not to deal in any shady online money-making deals I assume...
3. DDR freaks! Our new major obsession - the Dance Dance Revolution. However, since we don't have a machine of our own, we have to go to the mall to revolt, and pay Rs 60 for a single uprising. It can go to considerable amounts when you are used to 5-8 rounds in a single go.
The funniest part is the amount of crowd we attract LOL! You would not believe the amount of people - kids and full grown adults, male and female, who will stand around for hours just to watch 3 girls making a fool of themselves on a little machine. But quite honestly, I think the mall's management should pay us for using their DDR machine considering the amount of crowd we collect for them, thereby popularising their arcade, which ultimately plays a part in popularising their mall :P (And if anyone knows where to get a DDR machine really really cheap, I'd love to know!)

3. My sister - the fearer of ghosts and mirrors, has decided to grace me with a long overdue visit and finally got to meet and love Lucky as much as I do :-)
Complete sweetness, both of them!

4. One of our favorite restaurant's Bengali food festival a few weeks ago now leaves us craving paani puris all the time. Paani puris, Golguppas, Puchkas - whatever you want to call them.
Shake off a few calories DDRing, then stop by on your way home to make up for the lost fat with unhealthy amounts of paani puris. Heaven!

5. Hussain Sagar - the filth and the stench is never going away. And I find this eternally depressing!

06 October 2008

Issues of National Security

Do you ever feel safe these days? Not me! Crowded places immediately bring thoughts of bombings and deadly stampedes. But one still has to venture out for one reason or the other. And I'm pretty sure most of you are now used to being frisked everywhere you go - malls, parks..people feeling you up while you just stand like dumb animals.

Anyway, they annoy the hell out of me. These friskers (?), or whatever they're called. And their endless checking of bags, and their poking their sticks at my water bottles and my food and everything they can poke it at. And their orders to turn off my cellphone or camera, and their telling me to turn them on.

I know I know! In the interest of national security, it is my duty as a responsible citizen to cooperate. I'm only frustrated because none of these makes me feel the least bit safer. I have absolutely no faith in their shoddy equipments nor crew. (Just wondering, when they poke in your bags, do they know what they're looking for?)

We walked past "tight" security with a gun once. It was a toy gun, and a stupid dare that made us do it. But it certainly cinched my suspicion about their incompetence. We walked past security, who despite heavy groping failed to find the poorly concealed gun!

But guess what happened at the park yesterday? They found and confiscated my cigarette lighter. A tiny, pretty little thing, pink with pictures of little fishes and butterflies. How could they miss a gun (albeit a toy one, they didn't even find it to determine if it was real or not) but find and think a tiny, pretty, harmless thing like that would pose a threat!

Anyway, lots of this I know is crazy. But I'm angry because they took my lighter, a very loved gift all the way from Queensland. (And I was only entering a park, not a plane! ) And despite one cigarette lighter confiscated, I still don't feel safe. Maybe it would be worth it if I knew it would at least guarantee a certain degree of safety.

It freaking feels like the middle-east is all I have to say.

29 September 2008

The Curious Cat has meowed!

I asked myself, "Will this make me sound like I'm shouting to the world 'I'm a self-important, conceited bitch!'?" and the answer was "Probably yes," but I'm going to write it anyway. And let me hasten to assure you that I am not conceited at all, well maybe I am, just a tad! But truthfully, I'm just curious. So pardon me this little show of vanity or whatever you may call it, because I've been itching forever with it.

So the thing is, like your everyday, normal, average blogger, I have several tracking software running on this little blog of mine. And pretty much like the blog itself, all of them started out as experiments, lessons to teach myself stuff that I needed to know because my work demanded it. That was ages ago and I no longer need them, but I still do go in once a while to check whatever data they've faithfully collected for me - to oil my ego (or shatter it), and to appease the Gods of boredom.

But sometimes I become seriously curious about the 'people' I see there...Like today, I saw a person from Al Manamah, Bahrain searching on Google for "jerusha dignified cow" and I can't think of anyone I know who knows me in Bahrain, I am just dying to know more about this person, besides the fact that his/her operating system is a Windows XP, and that he is using Firefox 3.0.1, and that his computer screen resolution is 1280x1024, and he's got Javascript enabled, and his internet service provider is Batelco...

Oh who are you, mysterious person from the city of Manama in the Al Manamah region of Bahrain?!

There's another person from Islandia, New York, and another one from Atlanta, Georgia, whose absences are very conspicuous to me now and are causes for slight disappointments because they were almost like real people that I was used to seeing regularly. Then there are the IP addresses that I know by heart, and I can tell which friend it is and which part of the world that friend is from by just a quick glance at the decimalised numbers.

And I feel terrible everytime I see someone who's reached my page through a search done for "sexy girl(s) blog," "bad girl blog" (not that I'm not bad, just not that kind of bad bad..), or even "blogger help" (for I offer no support of any sort), and the ones looking for info or pictures of famous characters, for example, Samurai Jack, Thor, and more recently, Dorflein. And especially the ones searching for the 'my cup runneth over' song or the Bible verse.

To everyone who was looking for something, and you came in here because you were misled - I'm sorry. You can close me, and block me forever, and I promise I won't be hurt.

But./I'm late for dinner. Will continue later. If there;s anything worth continuing for..

23 September 2008

One less marriageable man

Did you ever read about Knut, the orphaned polar bear? Anyway, this is not about Knut, but the wonderful man who took care of him, lovingly nourished him and hand raised him - Thomas Dörflein. Dörflein died last night, and it just breaks my heart.

Knut's mother rejected him at birth, and "Thomas Dörflein, a modest, good-natured man selflessly stayed with Knut round the clock for 150 straight days, slept by Knut's side, fed him, cleaned up his mess...Knut would have died shortly after his birth without Doerflein's care. He nursed young Knut in his arms behind closed doors and wrestled with him after the bear grew old enough to play. When Knut made his public debut in March 2007, Doerflein was at his side." Total cuteness!
*sigh* Why do men like him never ask me out! They're both so adorable I just want to pack them in a bag and run away to Alaska with them. Knut now, big but still beautiful, and still loving Dörflein. "As long as he's with us, he will always regard Thomas Dörflein as his father. Knut now howls plaintively whenever he picks up Dörflein's scent" (source)

Awww...just how adorable and sad is that! Poor Knut :( He's gonna miss his friend so much.Rest in peace, Thomas Dörflein.

Apparently, some women considered Dörflein as marriagable as I did. He received a lot of marriage proposals, love letters, songs and poems women wrote for him :-) Some men, who clearly will never be as lovable as Dörflein was, joked about that a lot. "What do they want to marry him for? For playing with Knut? haha" they say.

I will not bother to elucidate. This is something where disambiguation is worthless, one either just understands, or never gets it at all, if you need someone to explain to you why men like Dörflein are worth marrying, it means you'll never get it.

But oh! for a man like Dörflein! Big & strong, with a ponytail, big boots, whose good heart overflows with love for all of God's little creatures...and a log cabin in Alaska, and a big dog, and clear skies, and clear waters...nine bean rows and a hive for the honeybee... ***sigh*** Bliss!

And the sad thing in my life, is that I will most likely never get to meet a man like that unless I go hang out at the zoo every day. In my environment, you only meet men who sleep with their computers, a lot of them pretty spoiled, money to spend but no warmth to share, men who love designer clothing and good food even more than women do...

While all I want is not someone who is rich, or handsome, I want a good man who loves animals. To throw in a good example, I found this little dog some days back while out walking, I at first thought it was dead. It was lying motionless on the side of the road, but on closer inspection I saw it was alive. It was literally skin and bones as you can see.
I couldn't leave it, and my apartment being a no-dogs one, I called a friend and told him I was on my way to his place with a gift for him. And turned up there with the dog, fearing he would refuse. But he found it pretty funny, mostly at its size (it was incredibly tiny!). And without any complaints, took it in, fed it - 'hand fed' it because the dog refused to eat, well, it was just too weak to eat...

And as I watched all this, I swear I fell half in love with him. :P


17 September 2008


Have I mentioned here before that I'm planning a trip to Thailand with a few of my friends in October? Anyway, I already have my tickets booked from the 17th - 26th. Which means 9 whole days of fun of sand and sea. But there's something that bothers me now, and I need to know if I'm being ridiculously stupid or should I listen to the voices in my head?

I am not prone to nightmares as an adult, but for the past few months, I've been having this recurring dream about being caught in a massive tidal wave. What always plays out in the dream - I'm on a beach somewhere having a good time, the first part of the dream is always good. Then out of the blue, I see this massive tower of water over me, like wayyy high, several storeys high, crashing down on me, and there would be absolutely no time or place to run. And it always ends there, I never see what happens after that. I would wake up terrified, my heart racing. The feeling would be so intense that I would still feel disturbed even the next day.

The day we booked our tickets, I started thinking about our little island trips (we're planning on going island-hopping), and instead of getting excited, I just became anxious because the dream kept coming into my head. and I have been feeling uneasy about it ever since.

Then, to make things worse, my mom, who is a worry wart by nature when it comes to her kids going on long journeys, but who is understanding and usually keeps her worries in check, freaked out on me. She kept saying she's got a bad feeling about my upcoming trip. She who can calm down when I go halfway across the planet alone, now refusing to see reason, acting like a super-nervous cat when my destination is only a mere 4-hour plane ride away.

I have a good mind to go cancel my ticket, and just not go. But I've been looking forward to this trip for a long time, and I really really want to go.

Am I just being irrationally nervous, am I being paranoid? Or should I listen to the voices and cancel?! But I'd feel sooo stupid if I decide to cancel. I'll feel better if I get some sleep I guess. I need the trip.


15 September 2008

Pictures & lessons

This is a picture of my desk. This is how it looks on any normal morning. I took this picture because I saw it in a completely new light when I walked in the other day. Me, I have never considered myself a lover of colors. If you open my wardrobe, you'll see lots and lots of blacks, whites, and mostly dull colors. I scoff at people who bedeck their work desks with cute, colorful pictures, or stuffed toys, or pictures of themselves/boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses/kids/relatives/even starngers. Until I was struck down with the light and it opened my eyes and I realised that I'm as bad as everyone else. I'm as disgustingly sweet and banal as the common man! Oh woe! :P Well, it's not too bad. I guess. At least the tables in my room at home are not that colorful. Did I ever mention that I use 3 tea bags in one cup? Yep, I like my tea strong, just like my men! :D

Check out this picture I took of this massive eagle the other day. I was in the kitchen cooking when I saw this bird perched atop the neighbor's toilet pipe. 'How romantic!' I thought, and went to get my camera. It must've been camera shy though, because it took flight the second I was about to take a shot...
A toilet pipe is a good perching place to perch on I suppose, if you're a bird. However, if you're human who loves perching on toilet pipes, you'd be a birdbrain.

Birds, they're just like humans. We all seem to always find a reason to take flight, even when there is none.

12 September 2008

Thlahrang I hlau em nang?

Ka nau bawk hian an hlau leh mai mai khawp ah! Kan inbiak na anih nih na angin ka rawn ka rawn paste - misspellings, typos etc a ngai ngai in. Ka nau mi dawih chanchin ani deuh ber :-)

Me: Emily rose an exorcise a an aw vel an record tak tak kha ka ngaithla a
Ka nau: uii
Me: i ngaithla ve duh em
Ka nau: ka ngaithla duh teuhlooooooooooooo
Ka nau: oi min ti ewnchakkk
Me: a message received from a Carmelite nun from the district of Allgäu in southern Bavaria. The nun had told the parents that a vision had revealed to her that their daughter's body was still intact, and that this authenticated the supernatural character of her case.
Me: an lai chhuak leh
Ka nau: chuan engtin nge alo om
Me: a lo trawih
Ka nau: henu hi chu van rapthlak tak
Ka nau: vanram kai ang policy in a om lehnghal
Me: en teh hei ka thawh pui pa pawh hi, mi 1 an exorcise lai kha a lo hmu tawh ani awm e. Chuan a rawn buai chho tran kha, a rawn trap a, a mittui chu bawnghnute ang chiah ati
Ka nau: ui ka rap ltkkkkkkkkk


Me: misual a thlahrang lam post kha i chhiar em
Ka nau: chhiar e ka hlau rapthlakkkkkkkkkkk
Ka nau: buannel ah poh son thlahrang a om
Me: spikey ziah kha ka rap tawp, i hmu em
Ka nau: oo, ka rap ltk alom...amah kha hmelhriat ka chak ramhuai a hriat hnem hmel top
Ka nau: thlahrang a hmu hma em anih kha
Ka nau: a rilru ah a cham tlat toh aniang
Me: bawng trial ang a trial ramhuai kha i la hria em
Ka nau:uiiiiiiiiii
Ka nau: soi suh kha mi ang em em a ka hlauh ngai kha ramhuai ah ka la hrelo
Ka nau: mahse ramhuai poh hi ka hlauh chi hi a inthlak kual reng
Me: enge tunlai i hlauh chi
Ka nau: tunlai chu
Ka nau: darthlalang hi ka hlau a, chu ani deuh ber
Me: awiiii, i mak eee. enge darthlalang chu i hlauh nachhan
Ka nau: min lo melh ang tih a hlauhom alom



Thihna lam ve thung;

Me: thih chuan thi fel hmak mai ila te hi ka ti thin
Ka nau:chu2 ania ka ning
Ka nau: anih loh tal pon hremhmun ai hian vahvaih tur ni zok se te ka ti thin
Me: vahvaih tawp mai chu
Me: khawi ah
Me: thlarau khawvel ah maw, nge he khawvel ah hian
Ka nau: hremhmun ai chuan a zia alom
Ka nau: ka ngaihtuah dan chuan mars ang deuh velah hian
Me: vahvaih tur habn tih tawp mai chuh
Ka nau: aaa........hremhmun tlak ai te chuan a zia em mai
Ka nau: chutianga boral topp leh khovela om char te ang chu expect chi poh ani lo a
Ka nau: chhan chu kan sualna ang ang chu kan phur tur ani ta a
Ka nau: chuan kang kher lo in vahvaih ka duh hremhmun lo tla tur hi lo ni ta ila
Ka nau: hremhmun hrehom dan tur chu
Ka nau: kang mai bak ah khan ramhuai hlau re2 in

Ti tawp mai ang, ninawm a thui ee mai.


08 September 2008

Making Vietnamese Pho

OMG I just amaze myself sometimes! Check out this Pho I made this Saturday, and tell me truly if it looks any different from one made by an experienced Vietnamese who've made Pho all his life. But I've never even imagined myself cooking something like this, even though I love Vietnamese food in general.So one night I was reading about how rice noodles are made and the importance of Pho in Vietnamese culture. And I really felt like some but because I don't know any place where we can Vietnamese food in Hyderabad, I figured if I wanted it, I'd just have to make it myself. So I woke up the next day, ran to the store and picked up the ingredients, and threw them in together and out came this! Keeping all false modesty aside, this is the best Pho I've ever had :o) And I've had Pho in many different places in several countries :P I'm not sure how real a Pho this would be, maybe it's more Mizo-Pho...
To be honest, I think it's all wrong. I just threw in whatever I thought would taste good. Lots of prawns, lots of squids, some chicken, some spring onions, capsicums (these I know for sure are out of place), ginger, garlic, and some thyme and I don't remember what else. Like I said, all wrong, but damn, yummy still!
I've really started cooking a lot, mostly because the girls seem to genuinely love all the results of every experiment I decide to carry out in the kitchen. And it's a good feeling to cook when you have someone to cook for.
Oh, and check out these "winged sunglasses" I got for the girls. Cute aren't they? :)

04 September 2008

Man I feel like a woman!

But the thing is, it's not enough you feeling like one. You have to feel like one. As in when somebody touches you. That means no cracked heels, no stubbly chins, or hairy body. You also have to smell like one. I'm no expert but I feel strongly about these things so I'll pretend I am an expert so I can feel better about what I'm going to write.

What some women have wrong, is that they don't seem to realise that you can't go around acting giggly, put on fake girly voices, act dumb, weak, and helpless, it's not even so much about batting eyelashes you know. The thing here is this - If I'm a normal, average, healthy Indian woman, and I walk around with cracked heels, dirty toenails, smelly armpits, I'd consider myself a failure somewhere.

This may sound materialistic, but I also can't understand why women who are financially stable, raking in the healthy side of a 5 figure salary a month, who are very interested in the opposite sex, the outgoing mall-going, expensive dinner-eating, 5-star club-frequenter can think it is okay to wear the same shoes every single day and night for months even when it's scuffed, visibly falling apart, glues leaking.... (Of course, it's a completely different ballgame if one faces extreme financial c0nstraints).

'How can you walk in those shoes?!' "Where did you learn to wear them?!!" How many times have I heard that? From women!!! And not crazy hooker type heels, but normal high heel shoes that normal women wear. They infuriate me!

I'd consider myself a loser if I'm a woman that don't know how to wear or walk in heels. I would never think it necessary for a woman to have to be taught how to wear heels. Shouldn't that be all part of being a woman? You were born a girl means you have heel-wearing genes in you, all you have to do is grow up and reach heel-wearing age. Even if you've put them on for the first time, you should walk like you've worn them forever.

And to these questioners, I never would but if I could, I would tell them to go and wear one themselves. And to make sure they're clean. But if they absolutely have no time to do too much cleaning and have to pick between tasks, your armpits come first. I can safely say this is not an issue back home, I can hardly think of a girl who had stinking armpits. But the amount of smelly women in other places is, to say the least, disturbing.

There was once this girl who was crazy about my closest and best friend at the time. The guy never liked her too much but she got lucky one night, and got him alone at her place for one whole night. She made her move, and given that men are weak preys, and that she had a lot of time and advantage, she even almost succeeded. Only almost.

Her reason for her failure? Hairy armpits! I later learned that he had almost given in, until it was time to take off her dress. You don't want to gross out men with hairy armpits and force them to feign sleep. If there's any feigning sleep, we should be the ones to do it, not them.

Then there was another friend who got all excited because he bagged a date with a hot girl he'd met once. He never asked her out again because after much prying I found out she had 'mean dirty fingernails.'

The things we think don't matter does matter. We're not going to get somebody's utter, eternal adoration because of our pretty nails or shoes, but it's still a step in the right direction :P And even if there were no hearts to win, we must still strive to have the cutest tootsies and finger nails around because it's just not becoming for women to have dirty, uncared for digits :-)
Even if you were blown apart in a bomb and your big toe is the only piece of your body left, it should be pretty enough for anyone who found it to know it belonged to a woman :-)

And cracked heels...why should I even be writing about that?

I know all this makes me sound shallow, when people are rushing around tending to important matters. But I'm tired, let the world debate over stem cell researches, gay marriages, and greenhouse gas emissions, I want to sit back and debate over which color nail polish I want to paint my nails tonight.

27 August 2008

Want a fun job with oodles of money?

Oh! The many wonders the internet brings into our lives! Life would be so much more boring and less colorful if this world didn't have this amazing system.

Therefore, first, before I jump into my intended topic, a million kisses for Vint Cerf - the father of the internet (Have I ever mentioned that I've met him in real life? Not to brag or anything :P But yeah, Vint and I - we ARE tight! hehe..Not. But yeah, I've actually met the man! Woo-hoo!)

I've had two real jobs in my life, the kind that finally gave you the muscle to stand on your own. And both those jobs would not have been and will not be possible without the internet. Really, I think I would be jobless now if this world was internet-less. Unemployed, or I would be doing dishes in a restaurant or something. Or maybe I would be married with 10 kids and completely dependent on someone for my everything. **shudder**

Anyway, I just want to share with you the wonderful, exciting opportunities that lil' ol' me have been receiving through the internet, because these are offers I never dreamt even in my wildest imaginations would EVER come my way. Never ever. But here they are now, as clear as day :D

Okay, exciting offer #1: A Karaoke singer! hehe

Sample of offer email - "I am a solutions provider for Karaoke products and you being from the North eastern part I'm sure you are a good or decent singer and well, all of you look very presentable etc . I need to use you to canvas for biz dos, promos, meeting corporates etc . I am sure your renumeration will be attractive."

Exciting offer #2: Okay, brace yourself... A model! Woo-hoo again! LOL

Sample- "My name is ____ doing my own business in events & entertainment in Dubai. I went through your profile and it sounds interesting. If you are interested in modelling or fashion show or anything related to events & entertainment, please write to me on____"

There is something about events and entertainment and me! Sometime back, this one man walked up to me trying to hail a rick on the street and asked me if I would be please be 'the presenter' for some event he was managing. Of course, I told him no, and you know he was begging me to do it! Like really, seriously begged :-) I suck so badly at so many things, but I'm good enough for some people - hoorah!

Exciting offer #3: Oh, happy day! A model again. You can laugh all you want, I will not be offended I promise :-)

"I am looking for a good looking girl to create a fashion portfolio. I use the Nikon D300 camera...I'm a software engineer and you can check out my works at _____ I can pay you for the portfolio photo shoot. Please mail me at ______"

Exciting offer #4: This one is more up my alley - A housemaid. Or rather, a house made :-)

This one's email was not as 'eloquent' as the others, so I'll take out bits and pieces from it to make it easier. My gracious offer-er says he is "a Saudi man working far of my parents and they are 70 and 65 years old." Says he needs someone to take care of them, and that he will "provide the residences, I need them as a driver and house made." Preferably "trust full Indian couple (husband and wife)," which kind of disqualifies me :-( since I'm unmarried and can't drive.

Let me stop at #4, and maybe continue with the other interesting offers later. So now, I know what I would do if there was no internet, I think maybe I'd be a model and walk and sashay out my livelihood, or I can be a Karaoke singer, or I can be a house made! So I won't be completely out on my ass after all :P.

**sigh** tears of happiness !

If anyone's interested, you can pass along your details to me, I'd be happy to forward them on. **wink wink** @ sandman :-)

25 August 2008

All's right with the world!

- People talk about Madonna and her body. They all seem to think her body is fantastic and that she looks great, they say she's so sexy, she's so hot....bi-da-bi, bi-da-ba...Honestly, I just don't see the fantastic in that body. And to be frank, as imperfect as my body is, I like mine better than Madonna's. I don't want that body on me at all! Despite her fancy trainers and gyms and diets and what-not, and all her money, I still would much rather have my life sans millions, trainers, Rambo-body, hot husband, fame. I'm pretty satisfied with my life (and for some unfathomable reason, this bugs certain people no end).

Something funny - I told this friend of mine this morning that McCain's chosen P.Diddy as his running mate, and that the new McCain campaign slogan is 'Diddy's your daddy!' And she believed me!! Yet she doesn't believe in love. AT ALL. Beats me how one can believe something like that so easily but chose not to believe in love. Gullible enough to fall for almost anything, no matter how insane, except when it comes from a guy.

Me, I'm stupid enough to believe some men occasionally. This may not be altogether smart, but some of the things I believe makes me happy. Sometimes a little stupidity doesn't hurt.

Anyway, while on the much hated topic of the US election, that old guy that Obama picked, doesn't his name sound like some sort of portmanteau (? is that what they call it?) of Bin and Laden. Bi-den. See? Obama has such strong terrorist tendencies.

I used to think I was dealt a pretty rough card when my dad decided to name me Jerusha. But then you get people with names like Biden, and they make the world seem fairer. I mean a name like that, which just mostly makes you think of two things - the most wanted man on earth, and a bidet. I don't know which one's worse.

19 August 2008

War & Peace

I found this picture of a scene from the Georgian-Russian conflict, I've seen tons of graphic war pictures, and maybe it was because it was the morning when the heart is still good and soft that I saw this, but this just went to my heart.

The dead soldier lying in the puddle on the side of the road just breaks my heart. I keep putting people in his place. My dad, my brother, Kal-El, my cousins, my close friends...it'd kill me. I don't know how it would be for someone who loves him to get through the pain of seeing something like this. I know I would never recover.
This is the site where I got the picture from, you can check it out for more images, but I have to warn you, some of those images are REALLY graphic.

Again, I'm just really, truly sick of war and fightings and everything that comes with those. Sick with a capital S.

Okay enough about the war part. It's morbid and morose and utterly depressing and I don't want to think about it anymore unless I absolutely have to.

So now, for some peace and fun :-) Actually I should have captioned this (with all due respect to Mr Tolstoy) 'Peace & Lust.' And here is the Lust!
*sigh* Sinful thoughts, sinful thoughts!

And then, I've also fallen in love. My newfound subject of adoration is this man...
A Persian actor by the name of Bahram Radan. I happened to see one Persian movie called 'Santouri' one night. The movie turned out to be really good, and Radan acted brilliantly. I fell in love, and have been obsessed with him ever since. Now just picture a man with Radan's face and Phelp's body.. mmmmmm :-)