20 November 2008

This is not Wright - II

Number 2 woe: On number 1, I cribbed about never sitting next to someone cute. Number 2 woe arises when fate deflects from that woeful path, and takes a different woeful path. You actually run into someone cute, but what happens then.

Well, not a lot to write. This is simple - if you meet someone hot in or around an airport, what will happen are any one of the following -

(1) He caught you doing something dumb & embarrassing.
(2) He saw you being caught doing something dumb & embarrassing.
(3) He talks to you, and you say something dumb & embarrassing.

Example 1: I'd just landed at this airport, and just when I was walking out, I saw this hottest-ever security guy. He stopped me, and in his deep, manly, sexy voice said "Miss, your paper says you have an animal product with you. May I ask what it is?"

Me: "Ummm..ahh..a dead Octopus."

Hot Security guy: "What??!"

Me: "It's dry. It's not fresh." (Nothing better to say)

Hot Security guy: "Well Miss, I'm not sure what our rules are regarding dried Octopuses, can you please go and talk to (some other officer)." (Trying to suppress a smile I could tell)

And no, don't ask me what I was doing with an Octopus in my bag. Too long a story, and too embarrassing.

(But the extra dumbness that I wasn't caught for was this: I thought I had only one Octopus, and Homeland Security was none the wiser it seemed. But when I finally reached home, my 6 year old cousin gave it a quick glance, and pronounced with his many missing teeth that there were two. I laughed, called him silly, told him I knew because I was the one who got it, and it was just one. "Octopuses have 8 arms, there are 16 arms in there" he said without a hint of showiness while the rest of my family smirked.)

Example 2: Another airport, and the security check-in line was longer than we expected, and unbelievably rigorous. We were even asked to take off our shoes and belts. We were getting late, and in our hurry to pack, and also because we were packing in the dark half-asleep, we had stuffed a whole bunch of liquids on our cabin bags, so we had to go back out, move or discard the unwanted items, then get back in line. By the time we were through security checks for the second time, we had about 5 minutes to get to our plane. And it was a massive airport, so we took off running without putting our shoes or our belts back on.

I will never forget what I wore that day. Black pants that were a size too big, which kept falling down my waist, and carrying my luggage with both hands, and running like a world champion sprinter meant my pants couldn't get a lot of help from my hands. I could hear our names being called out, and we ran frantically, barefoot, my pants falling and half my underwear showing. I think my friend had it better because his jeans at least fit.

We missed our plane anyway. And I was so angry, because the person at the counter actually admitted that our plane was still on the ground. We must've been quite a sight - no-shoes-all underpants me begging and pleading with tears in my eyes, my smartly dressed but barefooted friend trying to drag me away. I finally gave up, turned around to walk towards the waiting area, and what did I see? A Brad Pitt look-alike amusedly staring at us. And as we passed, he gave a little smile, a "Lady-where-are-your-shoes-and-by-the-way-your-undies-are-showing" smile :(

My friend got me coffee, with a packet of creamer, which when I put into my coffee didn't mix at all! So I tasted it, and found out it was mayonnaise and not creamer. I am not a crier at all, but that day it was difficult to keep myself from sobbing out loud. My friend tried to comfort me saying it was alright.

But it's not easy to say it's alright when you've just missed your plane, and you just humiliated yourself by running through the airport barefoot, and tons of people saw your underwear, and you have mayonnaise in your coffee.

And all while Brad Pitt-2 stared away.

**sigh** Why oh why do hot men only appear while I'm a total joke?!

21 comments:

Macabreday said...

mayo in coffee?? neat...!! lolz

Nags said...

I think some experience (however embarrassing) is better than none. My travels have only been dry, drab, boring and ho-hum.

claytonia vices said...

Yeah, your journeys are full of action and excitement! :)

aduhi said...

Wright? As in the Wright Brothers??The airport 100 metre dash is funny, though I'm sure it was far from funny at the time.

btw, loved that HMA mag article of yours. It's about time someone drilled some sense into the empty heads of our proud lazy fashionable Mizo youngsters.

Jerusha said...

Mac - you should give it a try some day, though not the best taste, it was a very unique and interesting drink :)

Nags - I get those too, I think for me, my journeys take 2 paths - the eventless boring ones, and the eventful in a negative way ones.

Jerusha said...

Clay - like I mentioned above, not all, and it's not all that great when the excitement are the bad types.

Aduh - You're right, it wasn't funny at the time, I think it started being funny the moment I got on my replacement plane and I finally sat down!

And thank you! I've only taken a quick glance at the magazine, I did see some printing errors, one which made me wince. "Endorsed my the Almighty God" was printed "Endoresed by the Almighty J"!! I certainly hope people understand it for the printing mistake it was, and don't think I meant the Almighty J(erusha) or something!

wonderboy said...

bag pahnih khai pah a kekawr in pawt chho hram hram zel tur ka mitthla a ka nui vun vun mai :))

Jerusha said...

wonderboy - Ka posi hi chhe ve thei tak mai ania, tleirawl deuh lai chuan chet chhiat avang khan zakin kan trap ru zawih2 thrin a, lo sinior ve takah chuan ka zak peih tawh lo a, posi chhia pawh a zia a awm :) I blog I update khat!

VaiVa said...

Comment ngaihna vak pawh ka hre lo... ngaihnawm thei tih mai loh chu!!!

mydh said...

oi! the missing plane thingy? to LA? well universal studios made up for it, no? :D and don't you also know the rule that most cute/hot guys are gay?

Sekibuhchhuak said...

Haha..ngaihnawm leh khawp mai :)

Hmanhmawh tawk a airport a in han tlan vel tur chu aw..hmuhchakawm hle mai :)

Ka hmelhriat pakhat Tuai deuh hlek hi sumdawngin a zin ve thin a, tumkhat chu a suitcase lianpui kha security ten engnge a chhunga awm antia, personal use atia, an han hawng chu, hmeichhe thawmhnawm, kekawrte te a lo awm ta nuaih mai a..amah an han en a security te mak ti lutuk chuan tih ngaihna an hrelova an kal tir ve mai bawk :)

Calliopia said...

Well, at least we get hilarious reads out of your misfortunes!

mesjay said...

My my my! What were the octopuses doing in your bag? And oh, who can help crying when they have to run through the airport with undies showing and got mayonaise in their coffee? I'd have bawled too.

Jerusha said...

vaiva - Ngaihawn tih comment kha comment zawng zanwg ah chuan thra ber hehe Tawk chiah :)

mydh - Thanks Mydh! In my disgust at my bad luck, I keep forgetting that, but yeah, you're right, they're mostly gay, and yep Universal Studios certainly made up for the interesting start of the journey :)

Jerusha said...

Seki - haha ka lo ziah tel trep chu, suitcase hawn luih an demand ni hian kekorte langsar deuh a lo pack hi zahthlak duh tih ka tum deuh a, mahse kei ai chuan mipa ni si a kekorte, hmeichhe ta lehnghal lo awm treuh mai chu1 hahah ka lawm e, che chhe ve tak tak hi an lo awm zel a!

J - welll...that'd be one positive way of looking at it :)

mesjay - It's a good thing that the pain of being deeply embarrassed passes, otherwise I think I would be crying all the time.

claytonia vices said...

Hmm.... anyways do tell us what TWO dead octopuses were doing in your luggage?

Lucy said...

Hahahahahahaaaaaaaa

Ramnghaki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
virgochhas said...

olzzz...

be thakful that all this did not happen in Lengpui airport...imagine if its Lengpui airport...lolzzzz

Jerusha said...

Clay - nope! The reason is a secret I'm carrying to my grave :)

Lucy - yep, laugh away :) Anyway, added you on gtalk..

Rams - Ni chiah e, pawi thui viayu ang

kammommy said...

lol...god you are cute...and i am not a brad pitt look alike...