Number 2 woe: On number 1, I cribbed about never sitting next to someone cute. Number 2 woe arises when fate deflects from that woeful path, and takes a different woeful path. You actually run into someone cute, but what happens then.
Well, not a lot to write. This is simple - if you meet someone hot in or around an airport, what will happen are any one of the following -
(1) He caught you doing something dumb & embarrassing.
(2) He saw you being caught doing something dumb & embarrassing.
(3) He talks to you, and you say something dumb & embarrassing.
Example 1: I'd just landed at this airport, and just when I was walking out, I saw this hottest-ever security guy. He stopped me, and in his deep, manly, sexy voice said "Miss, your paper says you have an animal product with you. May I ask what it is?"
Me: "Ummm..ahh..a dead Octopus."
Hot Security guy: "What??!"
Me: "It's dry. It's not fresh." (Nothing better to say)
Hot Security guy: "Well Miss, I'm not sure what our rules are regarding dried Octopuses, can you please go and talk to (some other officer)." (Trying to suppress a smile I could tell)
And no, don't ask me what I was doing with an Octopus in my bag. Too long a story, and too embarrassing.
(But the extra dumbness that I wasn't caught for was this: I thought I had only one Octopus, and Homeland Security was none the wiser it seemed. But when I finally reached home, my 6 year old cousin gave it a quick glance, and pronounced with his many missing teeth that there were two. I laughed, called him silly, told him I knew because I was the one who got it, and it was just one. "Octopuses have 8 arms, there are 16 arms in there" he said without a hint of showiness while the rest of my family smirked.)
Example 2: Another airport, and the security check-in line was longer than we expected, and unbelievably rigorous. We were even asked to take off our shoes and belts. We were getting late, and in our hurry to pack, and also because we were packing in the dark half-asleep, we had stuffed a whole bunch of liquids on our cabin bags, so we had to go back out, move or discard the unwanted items, then get back in line. By the time we were through security checks for the second time, we had about 5 minutes to get to our plane. And it was a massive airport, so we took off running without putting our shoes or our belts back on.
I will never forget what I wore that day. Black pants that were a size too big, which kept falling down my waist, and carrying my luggage with both hands, and running like a world champion sprinter meant my pants couldn't get a lot of help from my hands. I could hear our names being called out, and we ran frantically, barefoot, my pants falling and half my underwear showing. I think my friend had it better because his jeans at least fit.
We missed our plane anyway. And I was so angry, because the person at the counter actually admitted that our plane was still on the ground. We must've been quite a sight - no-shoes-all underpants me begging and pleading with tears in my eyes, my smartly dressed but barefooted friend trying to drag me away. I finally gave up, turned around to walk towards the waiting area, and what did I see? A Brad Pitt look-alike amusedly staring at us. And as we passed, he gave a little smile, a "Lady-where-are-your-shoes-and-by-the-way-your-undies-are-showing" smile :(
My friend got me coffee, with a packet of creamer, which when I put into my coffee didn't mix at all! So I tasted it, and found out it was mayonnaise and not creamer. I am not a crier at all, but that day it was difficult to keep myself from sobbing out loud. My friend tried to comfort me saying it was alright.
But it's not easy to say it's alright when you've just missed your plane, and you just humiliated yourself by running through the airport barefoot, and tons of people saw your underwear, and you have mayonnaise in your coffee.
And all while Brad Pitt-2 stared away.
**sigh** Why oh why do hot men only appear while I'm a total joke?!