31 August 2007

My New Retro Sari :-)

Out of extreme boredom, I watched one very old Hindi movie one day. It was a dumb movie but there was this one scene where the heroine danced in the hills wearing a yellow flowery sari. I fell in love with it.

That evening, I went out, walked into a Sari shop, told the guy I wanted a yellow sari with flowers on it.

It was not quite like the heroine's sari but I still love it, so I just wanted to proudly show it off here :-)

(Almost forgot, wanted to add that I look weird in the picture because I had paan in my mouth :P. And no, I don't normally eat paan! )

Okay, I'm realllyy bored. I CAN NOT wait for people. Well, I can but it drives me crazy. I'm always on time. Why can't people be on time?

I'm gonna find some pictures I like to post. Not the most brilliant way of killing time, but there's no rule that says one always have to strive for brilliance in all things.

Picture 1: The Ring Part 3 starring Sailopari. I took this picture but all credit goes to the subject.
Reason for posting - Funny, makes me laugh every time I look at it.

Picture 2: With Smriti & Katrin
Reason for posting: Genuine smiles with teeth showing hard to come by these days. This is one of few.

Picture 3: Mentioned-many-times-before, Shirley & Sohna of the Bear & Peacock BDSM fame.
Reason for posting: Shirley's smile. That's how she always smiles. She's got the most beautiful and freshest and cleanest smile ever.

Picture 4: Kush and I helping someone move.
Reason for posting: Kush's venomous eyes and healthy teeth. But eyes mostly. Aren't those eyes deadly?

Pictures 5, 6 & 7: Joe & Sam. No need for words here.
Reasong for posting: Cute. Plus, proof to show how easy it is to get men to do what you want them to do :-) 'Play with your nipples' 'Show off your biceps' - and ta daaa!

I think I should go find something else to do. I have a feeling I'm gonna be hearing from Sailopari and Joe and Sam pretty soon. So to ward off unwanted phone calls, I'll go back to safer topics.

Back to my sari now. So I only wear it inside when I want to smell something new and I want to feel all ladylike and feminine. I would love to be able to wear it outside, but I can't because of this:
It's easy posing gracefully for a minute. But in reality, I have to bend down and do such squatting exercises every once in 5 minutes :( But I practise every day. I will learn in time to wear it on my next big dinner out.

28 August 2007

Where's the Pied Piper when you need him?

'To see the townsfolk suffer so
From vermin, is a pity.'

[ Vermin without tails, walking on their hind foot and with a love for explosive devices. ]

The recent bomb blast has completely skewed up my life. Well, I know I shouldn't be complaining when there are so many people who lost so much. My 'tragedy' is nothing. But I'm still complaining. We leftovers are now scared to venture out. I can't even work late, my boss forces me or anyone else who tries to stay overtime to go home. Many plans canceled indefinitely. Bummer.

We've had bomb blasts here before, but this one was particularly scary because I was too close for comfort. However, this is a good way to find out who really cares for you :-). It's good to know there are people in your life who cares if you're dead or alive. It's also a good way to find out who reads/watches the news. Some people of course didn't call because they didn't know about it. I think that's just dumb when people learned about it and called from across the globe only a few minutes after it happened [yes yes, am pointing fingers here :D]

Mostly, I'm just mad. I'm so sick of people who believe bombs are going to solve things. What exactly are they bombing us for? To solve things? Put their points across? To prove something - whatever it is that's their cause.

I'm also sick of so-called state leaders who have the temerity to say stuffs like 'the state couldn't really have done anything to prevent this as the attack came from abroad' (!!!!!!!) and believe they can get away with that kind of bullshit statement. This is why my mind keeps going back to these lines from Robert Browning's 'The Pied Piper of Hamelin' -

" 'T is clear," cried they, "our Mayor's a noddy;
And as for our Corporation - shocking
To think we buy gowns lined with ermine
For dolts that can't or won't determine
What's best to rid us of our vermin!
You hope, because you're old and obese,
To find in the furry civic robe ease?
Rouse up, sirs! Give your brains a racking
To find the remedy we're lacking,
Or, sure as fate, we'll send you packing!"
At this the Mayor and Corporation
Quaked with a mighty consternation.

I wonder what will get our leaders to quake likewise....

20 August 2007

The Strange Case Of The Missing Lighter

My very valued cigarette lighter went missing from my desk where I thought I'd left it. I looked in my bag, rummaged and rummaged. No lighter. Emptied bag's entire content. Still no lighter.

I ran to the security desk, and in the process of getting up and pushing against my chair, something heavy from my jacket pocket which was hanging on the back of my chair swung against my knee. I ignored it. I wanted security! I wanted my lighter back!

Once there, I frantically reported the case of the missing lighter. Also missing along with it was a packet of cigarettes which was also duly included in the report. In a place where people report lost mobiles, iPods, expensive cameras et al, I could see that the security guys didn't think much of my missing stuffs. I was also a little embarrassed so I told them that I didn't care about the cigarette packet but that the lighter was wanted back in all earnestness.

"Uh-huh." They grunted.

"It was a very expensive lighter." I added, hoping to earn some sympathy.


"And also holds a lot of sentimental value for me. So please, it's really important that I get that lighter back."


I gave up and dejectedly went back to my desk. I couldn't work. My mind was on my cigarette lighter. My poor baby! In some stranger's grubby paws. It was unthinkable! (Yep. Fiercely and sometimes even absurdly possessive about certain stuffs).

I moaned, I whined, I sighed and I fretted, finally causing the noble J to stand up and pick up the phone and bark at the security guys. I had a slight suspicion that he did it more out of concern for his own self (he and I sit in close proximity so he suffers most from all my sighs and moans and whines). But I was anyway happy to see someone else take up my cause so strongly and bravely.

"Have you done anything about her lost lighter? Have you searched? What have you done? The security cameras must have caught something. Check that out!" The noble knight barked.

Men always bark better. The security guys sent a couple of guys in to sniff around my desk, in my drawers, pulled and tugged at my phone lines. Threw my tissue boxes around. They knocked my stuffed Koala off its nail. They tapped at and skewed my Celtic cross. They knocked my pen stand over. And tripped around and over several times on my headphone wires.

Of course, I thought it absolutely ridiculous, but I held my peace. They were, after all, there to help me. And they're supposed to be the experts - the Holmes, and I, the mere Watson.

They came. They rummaged. They didn't find any lead. No suspects whatsoever. I half-expected them to ask me 'Do you have any enemies?' 'Do you have any idea why anyone would want to do this to you?' 'Do you think whoever took your lighter has malicious intent to cause you bodily harm?'

They didn't but left with a promise to do all they could to return my lighter to me. They were going to see if the security cameras had caught who so shameless swiped my precious one right off its perch.

Well, after that, I worked a bit. And as I got up for lunch, that thing that knocked against my knee, well, that knocked again. That was a small detail I should have paid more attention to sooner. I picked the jacket up and thrust my hands inside its pockets, determined to find out what it was that was so hell-bent on doing damage to my knees.

My hand touched something...

Something solid.

And black.

And looked extremely familiar.


Now I'm sitting here and praying those stupid cameras didn't catch me putting the lighter in there the night before.

14 August 2007

Who came first?

Nope. Not the chicken, nor the egg.

The question now is - Was it the hagfish or Darth Vader?

11 August 2007

Solutions anyone?

Jason's email forward today was very touching. I'm guessing most of you must've already received the same forward, maybe a couple of times over. You know how forwards are. But anyway, for everybody's reference, the message at the end of the forward was this :

"Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for would easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our own family an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?"

I am aware. Again, I think most of us are. But what the hell is the solution?
You can't work and do a half-assed job, you can't not work, yes, we need money. Also, lame-assed work = loser. And nobody wants to be a loser.

I'm thinking binary fission. Divide thyself and let one of you pour thyself into thine work, one into thine family, one into thine romantic interest, one into thine society, one into thine church, and so on and so forth.

What irritates me is hearing words of wisdom that are indeed oh-so-wise to hear but has no logical solutions to them. Somebody pops up and says "Hey, do you realise when you're short and tiny, it's that much more difficult to reach cabinets and cupboards and you have to stretch a lot and you may even be putting yourself in risk of hazardous back pains from all that stretching? (Underlying message would be 'Don't be short, be tall')." It's worse than the Confucius-y 'Think yourself out of your height' thing...

07 August 2007

Rumps are red and the Sky is blue!

Sometimes everything falls into place so beautifully you can hear your heart purring with contentment. And life is so good and perfect and beautiful it scares me. The calm before the storm?

That's LV. I asked him last night if he could chose, what he would chose between having absolutely no one in this world that finds you sexy or having pigeons finding you sexy. He picked being wanted by pigeons. I asked Jim the same thing today, he found being found sexy by pigeons offensive so he chose not to be wanted by anyone or anything at all.

Bitch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid :P.

I wouldn't mind being leered at by a pigeon so much. But they've never done it so I can't say for sure. I mean, leering is leering and it's always revolting. Maybe I might get offended and lose my temper and break all their eggs. But lecherous pigeons are hard to come by these days. No self-respecting pigeon would leer at a human nowadays.

Anyway, since the world's so beautiful and peaceful, there's not much to do except go walking in the park and play cowboys and robbers and take daft pictures. The park's my 'Isle of Innisfree' - no nine bean rows and no hives for the honeybee, but it suffices.

And if you don't mind a little damp, it's beautiful after the rain, and it feels liberating to be out there while it still drizzles.These are rosefinches right? Why does red rumps look so cute on birds and so revolting on monkeys? In the same way that animals get cuter the fatter they get but it's just the reverse on human beings. We call them 'Tlaiberh' in Mizo. [Kan hmuh veleh, 'Awi ka ei chak lutuk, han buhchiar ila' kan ti :)]
Check out the muscle all that walking has given me! :P You'll be seeing me on the Indian Weight Lifting Team pretty soon.

01 August 2007

Does your cup runneth over?

(er, I meant bra cups :P) If yes, I have good news for you. Yes, despite the gloom and the mundaneness of this weepy Wednesday morning, I have found something on the net to considerably cheer me and a million other women up. Which is this -

Bra scientists find formula for that

perfect fit!!

Yep, yep, am not joking!

(To be frank, I didn't even know there were 'bra scientists,' 'bra specialists' maybe...)

According to the Telegraph.co.uk, 'researchers in Hong Kong have come up with a different mathematical equation which they say will produce shapelier outlines and greater comfort..'

Also, 'the Hong Kong Polytechnic University team says that a "woman's breast is a very complex 3D geometry" and the existing sizing system may be "inappropriate in the categorisation of breast sizes for bras".'

Hear that? Inappropriate! Not appropriate, which also means unsuitable, unfitting. Hah! I knew that already, without any form of research or study done.

We poor women, through the ages (since 1953 to be exact, since bra sizes have followed a formula devised in America in 1935, according to them) have been inappropriately categorised and inappropriately clothed, or bra-ed, or brassiered, to be precise.

This must be why it is so difficult to find the right bra. This must be why you so often feel like there's a parasitic living being attached to your chest. This must be why you feel that constant constriction against your rib cage, cramping your breathing style by mercilessly squeezing your oxygen passageway and therefore turn you prematurely blue. And also why that hot new top just won't look right!

Apparently, the team uses 3D scanning. That sounds good. I already have faith in what they're hinting at. I see some light in the future, and hopefully some new reasons to go lingerie shopping some time soon in the future.

I love human intelligence. The incredible things they study, discover, learn and come up with. I mean c'mon, breasts and mathematical equations?!? I guess maths really isn't all that boring after all.