27 August 2008

Want a fun job with oodles of money?

Oh! The many wonders the internet brings into our lives! Life would be so much more boring and less colorful if this world didn't have this amazing system.

Therefore, first, before I jump into my intended topic, a million kisses for Vint Cerf - the father of the internet (Have I ever mentioned that I've met him in real life? Not to brag or anything :P But yeah, Vint and I - we ARE tight! hehe..Not. But yeah, I've actually met the man! Woo-hoo!)

I've had two real jobs in my life, the kind that finally gave you the muscle to stand on your own. And both those jobs would not have been and will not be possible without the internet. Really, I think I would be jobless now if this world was internet-less. Unemployed, or I would be doing dishes in a restaurant or something. Or maybe I would be married with 10 kids and completely dependent on someone for my everything. **shudder**

Anyway, I just want to share with you the wonderful, exciting opportunities that lil' ol' me have been receiving through the internet, because these are offers I never dreamt even in my wildest imaginations would EVER come my way. Never ever. But here they are now, as clear as day :D

Okay, exciting offer #1: A Karaoke singer! hehe

Sample of offer email - "I am a solutions provider for Karaoke products and you being from the North eastern part I'm sure you are a good or decent singer and well, all of you look very presentable etc . I need to use you to canvas for biz dos, promos, meeting corporates etc . I am sure your renumeration will be attractive."

Exciting offer #2: Okay, brace yourself... A model! Woo-hoo again! LOL

Sample- "My name is ____ doing my own business in events & entertainment in Dubai. I went through your profile and it sounds interesting. If you are interested in modelling or fashion show or anything related to events & entertainment, please write to me on____"

There is something about events and entertainment and me! Sometime back, this one man walked up to me trying to hail a rick on the street and asked me if I would be please be 'the presenter' for some event he was managing. Of course, I told him no, and you know he was begging me to do it! Like really, seriously begged :-) I suck so badly at so many things, but I'm good enough for some people - hoorah!

Exciting offer #3: Oh, happy day! A model again. You can laugh all you want, I will not be offended I promise :-)

"I am looking for a good looking girl to create a fashion portfolio. I use the Nikon D300 camera...I'm a software engineer and you can check out my works at _____ I can pay you for the portfolio photo shoot. Please mail me at ______"

Exciting offer #4: This one is more up my alley - A housemaid. Or rather, a house made :-)

This one's email was not as 'eloquent' as the others, so I'll take out bits and pieces from it to make it easier. My gracious offer-er says he is "a Saudi man working far of my parents and they are 70 and 65 years old." Says he needs someone to take care of them, and that he will "provide the residences, I need them as a driver and house made." Preferably "trust full Indian couple (husband and wife)," which kind of disqualifies me :-( since I'm unmarried and can't drive.

Let me stop at #4, and maybe continue with the other interesting offers later. So now, I know what I would do if there was no internet, I think maybe I'd be a model and walk and sashay out my livelihood, or I can be a Karaoke singer, or I can be a house made! So I won't be completely out on my ass after all :P.

**sigh** tears of happiness !

If anyone's interested, you can pass along your details to me, I'd be happy to forward them on. **wink wink** @ sandman :-)

25 August 2008

All's right with the world!

- People talk about Madonna and her body. They all seem to think her body is fantastic and that she looks great, they say she's so sexy, she's so hot....bi-da-bi, bi-da-ba...Honestly, I just don't see the fantastic in that body. And to be frank, as imperfect as my body is, I like mine better than Madonna's. I don't want that body on me at all! Despite her fancy trainers and gyms and diets and what-not, and all her money, I still would much rather have my life sans millions, trainers, Rambo-body, hot husband, fame. I'm pretty satisfied with my life (and for some unfathomable reason, this bugs certain people no end).

Something funny - I told this friend of mine this morning that McCain's chosen P.Diddy as his running mate, and that the new McCain campaign slogan is 'Diddy's your daddy!' And she believed me!! Yet she doesn't believe in love. AT ALL. Beats me how one can believe something like that so easily but chose not to believe in love. Gullible enough to fall for almost anything, no matter how insane, except when it comes from a guy.

Me, I'm stupid enough to believe some men occasionally. This may not be altogether smart, but some of the things I believe makes me happy. Sometimes a little stupidity doesn't hurt.

Anyway, while on the much hated topic of the US election, that old guy that Obama picked, doesn't his name sound like some sort of portmanteau (? is that what they call it?) of Bin and Laden. Bi-den. See? Obama has such strong terrorist tendencies.

I used to think I was dealt a pretty rough card when my dad decided to name me Jerusha. But then you get people with names like Biden, and they make the world seem fairer. I mean a name like that, which just mostly makes you think of two things - the most wanted man on earth, and a bidet. I don't know which one's worse.

19 August 2008

War & Peace

I found this picture of a scene from the Georgian-Russian conflict, I've seen tons of graphic war pictures, and maybe it was because it was the morning when the heart is still good and soft that I saw this, but this just went to my heart.

The dead soldier lying in the puddle on the side of the road just breaks my heart. I keep putting people in his place. My dad, my brother, Kal-El, my cousins, my close friends...it'd kill me. I don't know how it would be for someone who loves him to get through the pain of seeing something like this. I know I would never recover.
This is the site where I got the picture from, you can check it out for more images, but I have to warn you, some of those images are REALLY graphic.

Again, I'm just really, truly sick of war and fightings and everything that comes with those. Sick with a capital S.

Okay enough about the war part. It's morbid and morose and utterly depressing and I don't want to think about it anymore unless I absolutely have to.

So now, for some peace and fun :-) Actually I should have captioned this (with all due respect to Mr Tolstoy) 'Peace & Lust.' And here is the Lust!
*sigh* Sinful thoughts, sinful thoughts!

And then, I've also fallen in love. My newfound subject of adoration is this man...
A Persian actor by the name of Bahram Radan. I happened to see one Persian movie called 'Santouri' one night. The movie turned out to be really good, and Radan acted brilliantly. I fell in love, and have been obsessed with him ever since. Now just picture a man with Radan's face and Phelp's body.. mmmmmm :-)

11 August 2008

We had a thunderstorm in style

'Last night we had a thunderstorm in style
The wild lightning streaks the airs,
As though my God fell down a pair of stairs,
The thunder boomed and bounded all the while:"

Been raining continuously for the past few days, and I love it! Of course, the city is so badly equipped for rain that you have to be ready for some chaos, and rain is bad for shoes, and it killed my internet, and the street is full of moldy smelling people, and it messes up your hair, but I still love it. Rain is a beautiful thing, beautiful to look at, and beautiful to feel and hear. I wish we had a tin roof at least only for the rainy season. Well..ONLY for the rainy season to be truthful.

We bought new umbrellas that we love to death. Some of my friends think it's silly and stupid to be carrying them around, but I like them, they're perfect for slight drizzles, and they make people smile.
And as tiny as they are, one can still cover two heads. And that's a lot if one of those is mine because I got a pretty big head.
The night this picture was taken, I was going out for dinner, one of my house mates told me that she liked my dress, my coat, and my shoes, but that I was spoiling everything with the horrible umbrella sticking out of my bag. 'My god! You can NOT be serious, you can't go there with that umbrella!' she said, she said the restaurant I was going to will never let me in with the umbrella. As it turned out, they looked pretty happy to see me and my umbrella and very gladly let us in.

Another good thing about the rain - my flowers love it and just refuse to stop blooming. These are Zennias, my grandma always had different colored Zennias in the garden when we were kids, and we used to call them Sap pangpar and I hated them (bet you thought I was going to say I loved them) :-) I thought they looked plastic, love them now though...
One thing I don't like about the rain - Lucky spends a lot of time playing in it, and with that heavy fur, he smells like a wild animal. I avoid all bodily contacts with him now and intend to do so until the rainy season is over.
I'm lying. I can't keep away from him, so in the end, I end up with muddy paw marks all over my clothes, and smell like a wild animal only slightly less wilder than him.

Also, I don't know if this is just about me, but the rain also has a way of dredging up long-lost memories and images from the past. Does this happen to you? Me, my brain seems to clear out some cobwebs and I start remembering things from so long ago I should not even be remembering them - my dad and I building paper boats, and letting them loose on muddy puddles, and how big and fat the raindrops on the puddles were....

...A nice woman who used to sing me a lullaby '...Kan kawmcharah tuihawk a luang dem dem e (?), a fim hmasa Lalngoi'n thal zo zel e...A khi ah khian lungpui a lo lum dawn e, ka nau-i kha suan khat, suan hnihin suan rawh u..' Who was she?...

...My sister, aged about 5, dressed in a blue frock and running barefoot on a muddy track in the rain...

Another fact about rain I bet you didn't know - when rain falls through dry air and evaporates completely before reaching the ground, it is called virga. Yeah I know, it sounds like mispronounced Viagra :-)

06 August 2008

9 Things I'm frackin' sick of

1. Barack Obama & the US presidential election. But mostly Barack Obama. I want to be able to watch the news and read the papers without seeing his face for once.

2. The Brangelina twins.

3. The Beijing Olympics.

Bollywood. The industry and almost all its actors, if they can even be called that - stuck in a state of perpetual "talentlessness" and idiocy. They're all still in the Stone Age as far as acting and making movies is concerned, and I have a feeling this state is going to be an eternal one. I see no light in the future. (But then, I also believe that the lack of genius in our actors is in perfect equilibrium and harmony with the hopelessness of our politicians and the way the country is being run, so maybe it's all good after all. Balance is always good.)

5. Fuel prices.

6. North Korea and Iran and their little nuclear programs.

7. Mars. Sorry Mars :( You used to thrill me and it's not even your fault but the endless speculation and the crafts that gets sent your way and the hype that goes on and on but you've never shown us even one weensy picture of little green men with antennaed-helmets, or even little wiggly worms. I saw on the news this morning about some more find - perchlorate! Oooh..perchlorate! They found perchlorate on Mars!!! So exciting I could barf! Perchlorate, whateverchlorate, don't give a flying fuck anymore. You're just boring now, except on Longfellow's hands. You know I wouldn't even be sick of you if these media people will just stop reporting 'news' that isn't there.

8. Bombs and bombers. Sick of being scared to go shopping, eat out, go see a movie with friends, do even the simplest things. All because of a bunch of retards who think blowing up poor, innocent people can further their cause or whatever shit they're trying to prove.

9. The ever unsafe, ever filthy Indian railways. I find it amazing that practically nothing's changed in the last decade. In this age when we're talked about not because of our poverty but because of our booming economy and amazing talent pool and power and progress, our trains still have the same stench, same ticketless passengers forcing their ways in, the same cruddy seats, the same Hijras demanding money, the same general chaos...Will there ever come a day when an average Indian can travel cheap, clean, and in peace?! If there is, judging by the look of things now, the moon will disintegrate into little pieces and the sun will die and turn into a black hole before that happens.

John McCain almost made it to the list, but I forgave him and left him out. Why? For being seriously hot at some point in his life :-)

Plus the fact that he's really funny, and not fakey lakey like Senator O makes it easy to forgive him.

And..he's not intent on taking my job away. Very important. :D

Got Milk?

Lucky posing for me for our own Got Milk? ad :-)

01 August 2008

Thil mai mai

Kan naupang ber tun a Bangalore a awm lai mek min rawn biakna hi kan paste mai mai lawk, ka nuihpui nasa em a.

Ama sawi dan in "Anu ka han phone a...inthlarun hmel took in ka trong a. Teh nu...ka hmai hi te tak tein a ron bol vak a...a kaw trek2 bok a. Chuan voiin tlai khan ka va entir a...doctor in skin disease hlauhom dam thei toh lo ania, plastic surgery i tihloh chuan a dam thei toh lo a ti a ka han tia. Chuan.....ka tia ka tho vel hok a. Sing nga a ngai a ka tia. Oi.....a mang ang hmel ltk a, trong poh a ron trong chhuak mai thei ta lo a. Ka khongaih leh ta a, ka han nui vak vak a. A thinrim lutuk a, 'LALZAWM!!!! nangmah leh nangmah anchhia i in loh ange, a bol tak tak mai ang te a ti. Ka han hau let ve leh a, ka rap leh sia....trongthu chhelo ah ti roh ka ti vak2 a.."

Ka nu hneh atrang hian "Nizan chu I nau in min lo phone a 'Hriati I dam maw?' min rawn ti a' tih angreng report hi hriat tur hi a awm reng mai nia, ka nau te pahnih hian an fiam peih bawk a.

Hman deuh ah ka nu mobile phone neih ve hmasak ber ah ka nau bawk hian a screensaver ah animated screensaver, thil bial in vial tep tep, pangang ang deuh chi kha a dahsak a. Ka nu chuan an en kha, a hrethiam ta lo. Ka nau hnenah chuan "Awi bawihte, hei han en teh, a mak lutuk" atia.

Ka nau chuan a en a, "Awi virus anih hi!!" a tih sak a. Ka nu ngaihdan ah ama sawi leh dan in 'virus' han tih khan computer age hma a kan virus hriat pangngai, thil nung, natna hrik chikhat ah a ngai titih ani awm e. A vial tep tep bawk si, vangvat lam te a ang nen, khatia ka nau in 'alarmed' deuh a virus a ti ta kha, a hlau ta lutuk a. A phone chu a paih ta thruai mai, khawih pawh khawih ngam tawh lo chuan, "Awi bawihte, engtin nge kan tih ang?" atia, ka nau lah chuan "Tih ngaihna a awm lo, tikhuan a chhung ah a lut tawh sia.." atia. Ka nu chuan a phone thar chu hal mai a rawt e ati ka nauin :-)

Vawiin ah pawh "Anu zingah khan ka han msg a, 'Hriat have a nice day' ka han tia, 'ka lom e' a ron ti lolzzzzz" a la rawn la ti..

Ho hle si hian, tiang mai mai te hian thih min ti hreh thin..