28 July 2008

Life goes on

And we're still making videos :) This is another martial arts movie with a hitherto unheard-of ancient Chinese dialect with subtitles.

Removing the video, will just leave the link here, I'd rather have comments on the youtube page than on here.

25 July 2008

The sad squid notes

So funny, I just walked in and this one colleague of mine looked at my arm and exclaimed 'Oh, you got a new tattoo!' (Little black flowers and leaves and what-not scribbled down all over my left arm).

Now how do I tell her "No, this is just the result of a very unproductive hour-long meeting." Maybe I can say "Yeah, I got it done by this black guy called Reynolds in one of the meeting rooms."

I don't know what we discussed in there, I don't have little notes, no important points to carry away. Just this pretty graffiti on my arm.

I may have been a squid in my previous life, I rock ink so well! :-)

p.s - How do you like my Deezer track? The song is in dedication to Kal-El, my loving, unattainable hero, who finally left for his home planet Krypton today.

You know one of these days, I think I will take the much-frowned-upon path of mushiness and utter corniness and write about what it feels like to hold and kiss someone when you both know that that's the last time you'll ever get to kiss each other, and all that's on both your minds is how you will never see each other again after this, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Say my name
So I will know
You're back you're here again
For a while....


There's this song called 'Dreidel' by someone I don't remember, Don McLean I think...that's all I've been thinking of today -

I feel like a spinning top or a dreidel
The spinning don't stop when you leave the cradle
You just slow down
Round and around the world you go
Spinning through the lives of the people you know
We all slow down
How you gonna keep on turning from day to day?
How you gonna keep from turning your life away?

Heh! Looks like I'm already treading on the afore-mentioned mushy path. Muchos sorry. But then, this is not even really mush because it's not so much about romantic feelings, but more about the normal sadness any human being of any gender feels at the absence of another human being of any gender. Simply because that human being was very special to them.

22 July 2008

The Gospel according to St.Macavity

Macavity and I are still talking all the time despite the distance - on the phone, online, voicemails, gtalk, yahoo - and before I continue, I should mention that Macavity is a good Christian (good maybe not in our conventional Mizo sense, but better than many of those conventionally 'good' ones).

So anyway, when we talk, one big topic that always reigns over others is God, faith, and being Christian. But we often stray from the main topic and suddenly develop profound interests in a character (one of the disciples, a soldier, a random man whose random act was recorded in the Bible), places, incidents, and we'd do lengthy researches, create pictures and images of these people in our heads and swap them - fun times.

Anyway, the topic of Palestine and Lebanon came up the other day. And I asked Macavity "Did Jesus ever go to Palestine?" to which she vehemently swore "No, never. He never stepped foot in Palestine!"

"Are you quire sure?"

"I don't see Jesus as setting foot in that land.."

"He was born there Macavity!"

"Ooooh yeah, right. Sorry, he was born in Palestine and they chased him out from there to Bethlehem, did they not?"

"They chased him out to Bethlehem - where he was then born.. **long pause** However, if he wasn't born, I don't think the chasing would have been much successful."

"Bethlehem is IN Palestine, they could not have chased him from Palestine to Bethlehem.."


So we finally got it down to Bethlehem, Palestine (which was called Judea), which we assumed was a part of Israel (I still don't know). This perplexed Macavity, how could Palestine have been a part of Israel when they have such history? What kind of history, I asked. All those fighting histories, she said. They fought? I asked. She answered yes, all the time, killed each other all the time.

She said - "You remember back in the day when the Palestinians fought the Israelites? Judea was a part of Israel then, wasn't it? Unless Judea was fighting against Israel and later came to be known as Palestine, which makes no sense. Because back in Genesis and Exodus or the good old books, it says that the 'Palestinians' fought them - written way before Judea was even called Palestine."

"David fought them, Jonathan died to them, so did Saul (not the one that became paul :P). Saul was sorely possesed by demons in the end, even threw something, some cooking utensil at young David, while he was blissfully playing the harmonica."

(Jonathan is her ultimate favorite Biblical character, and she will always find ways to bring his name up no matter what the discussion as long as it has something to do with the Bible).

Anyway, this discourse befuddled me greatly. I asked her who she meant by this 'them' that David fought, and killed Jonathan and Saul. Because it would be so weird for a great Israeli king like David to be killed by his own subjects.

"The Palestinians," she smugly answered.

Then, suddenly a titter, and then
"Oooooh, I think I'm mixing up the Philistines with the Palestinians"


Anyway, Lebanon and Palestine and Israel are our current obsessions, one day I asked Macavity to find out what the ancient Biblical cities of Tyre (are they modern day Lebanon?) and Sidon are now called. She researched, and her answer when I came back was this - In the modern world, Tyres are pneumatic ring-shaped parts. :-) Cute.

The reason she finds it so difficult to accept that Jesus was ever in Palestine is because of modern day Palestine and Palestinians - well, let's just say one Palestinian - Samir Kuntar. She just can't accept that our Lord ever walked on the same ground that this monster now treads on.

Because of this new found interest, we read up on Zionism, and downloaded and started reading The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion. I've never thought much about Lebanon and neither does Macavity, we've got a lot to learn, , but we are pretty sure now that it can't possibly be a great place. A place where they idolise murderers as heroes and role models...nahh, can't be good.

Macavity is still away, I'm never sure where exactly she is - when I think she's in Sydney, she'd call up from Melbourne, and you think she's in Melbourne, and she is in Thailand. I wish she'd come back soon because overseas calls are expensive, and the crazy time zone results in me waking the poor thing up at odd hours all the time.

And she needs to be taken to church and made to sit and listen to one good sermon.

16 July 2008

Oh we the evil sex!

By we, I mean me and all the good women who's got the luck to share the same gender and are reveling in their womanhood, the bearers of the double X chromosome, the soft and beautiful, better-smelling, smarter sex. We are all that yes, but I really do believe that we also possess more capacity to do harm.

Men's lack of general spite, I suspect, springs mainly from the thickness that seems to prevail in their cranial cavities. I'm not saying they're dumb of course. Most of the truly brilliant people I know are all male, but it's also true that I strongly believe (and I'm pretty sure I'm right :D) that I am smarter than most men I've met, while I come across women way smarter than me every day.

(That's just to tick off the men. That's the kind of statement that has high potential to pervade that previously mentioned thickness, and somehow reach the sleeping thing that resides in the cavity, and whisper to it that something has been said that is perhaps eligible for deeper contemplation because it's possibly offensive. Deeper contemplation will take approximately 2 seconds and they will have already lost their temper before those 2 seconds are up).

Other statements of similar potential -
* Let's have sex.
* Oops, I spilled soda on your keyboard.
* He's taller than you are.
* I'm pregnant.

You know, stuff like that. By potential, I mean the ability to kick some of those sleeping neurons into transmitting some sort of chemical signals - the end result is subjective and may vary highly from subject to subject, rage and panic and sexual arousal being one of the more common reactions.

If you want it to resume as it is, you can try saying nothing - always works, or 'Take the trash out,' 'Don't forget to feed the dog,' or even just a simple 'Let's talk.' (I believe peace will reign on earth and in all households if all women can adopt this strategy. After all, didn't someone who must've been pretty smart and who put her brains to good use say something about letting sleeping dogs lie?)

Anyway, I'm straying. What I want to talk about here is how we women can be so much more difficult and vindictive and nasty and....you know, just difficult. I will not even go into the whole animal kingdom stories, we all know those too well already. Let's just try to keep it human(e).

How many stories have you heard about the bride not getting along with her husband's brothers or father? Not a lot, I'll bet. Now, replace the male kinsmen with the female relations. See what I mean? Mothers-in-law are subjects of absolute terror, and the sisters-in-law, at best, seems to excel at frosty dislike or plain indifference.

Personally, putting aside romantic relationships, men have always been my best friends, best comforts, and without fail, make the best company. Because they're easy. Put me in a room full of men and I will be friends with all of them in 10 minutes. Forging friendship with women, on the other hand, is a long, hard struggle for me. Like I said, this may be just personal but I love men that way. I shared a house with 3 guys once, and that was one of the most peaceful cohabitation with more than 1 human being I've ever had.

Another example to prove my point: In my gym, we have two trainers - a guy and a girl. For every set of exercise that I do, my male trainer tells me to do two sets of 10, while my female trainer is never satisfied with less than two sets of 20. And she'd stand and watch me huff and puff, muscles quivering, flesh wobbling, tears and sweat streaming down my face and I would seek her eyes for some sort of sympathy, but it'd only remind me of the villain in the Terminator movie after his flesh burned off and only his metallic skeleton remained, with those two sets of cold, unfeeling, red blinking lights. And I'd think about how she should be in a movie, and how she'd make a good villain, you know those types that carry poison darts in their hair. And blow it on little children for practice.

So I keep wondering why these gentle, warm, peace-loving creatures like us so much, we who have the power to disrupt their peaceful existences, and who would most likely put that power to use - intentionally or unintentionally. Because I think if I were a guy, I'd steer clear of us. And I think I better stop right now and sleep because this is going to lead me back to sleeping cranial cavities and I'd go round and round in circles and never sleep and be red-eyed and mean-assed at work tomorrow.

p.s - Men, don't come accusing me again of being sexist, I love you guys :P It's just the way the thoughts form in my head and my fingers fall on my keyboard :-)

15 July 2008

What do you think of my new tattoo?

Marian made it for me, says it's the best tattoo she's ever made, out of a total of two. The other being this heart she made on my arm for my Amy Winehouse impersonation -

10 July 2008

Meet Lucky - the Persian dog

Lucky is a dog that belongs to a friend of mine. He's a black German Shepherd, and can look absolutely terrifying in the dark, like some creature out of a horror movie. You'll know what I mean from this picture -
But then you know him better and you'll see he's just a big baby, he's just 4 months old, even though he already looks pretty big. He lives with his owner in this big house all by themselves, so I think he gets lonely a bit, and he's so thrilled to have visitors he goes crazy and he'll make you feel like you're the best person in the world ever. I'm mad about him.
He's teething, and he slobbers all over me, it gets messy but it's all worth it for the amount of good loving I get. I can stand a little canine saliva :-)

His owner, who I'll just call Gab, is a good friend of mine, and the funny thing is both master and dog speaks and understands only Persian. But despite the lack of verbal communication, we share a very good understanding of each other and enjoy each other's company.

It's funny how Gab can always sense my sadness when some people I spend hours pouring out my heart to can't. My blue days, he'd know it and he'd offer to come get me, and even when I don't feel like it, I usually end up going in the end more often because of Lucky than Gab himself, but I love them both like brothers.

When it gets late, we just all sit and watch TV, and I feel at peace because I know I don't have to talk or explain myself and that my silence doesn't bother them. We just have to sit and occasionally smile at each other and that's all that's needed. I like the simplicity of their lives and thoughts and the peace that comes with being with them. I want a dog of my own TERRIBLY!

08 July 2008

Books & Writers & More

I was looking at some of my old posts and I find it disappointing that I write a lot about hurting and other negative things, but nothing much about what I like, and what's good in my life. And there is a lot of that. So starting today, I vow to write something about what I think makes life worth living - big or small, as long as it's positive.

And as a first post of this great new attitude of mine :), I will write a few things about the one constant love of my life - books.

For as long as I can remember, reading has been the one activity that I've never stopped enjoying. I liked reading from the moment I learned how to, I remember being a kid in school and going shopping for school books with my mom at the start of each new school year, and then finish reading my entire English books before school even started.

Some facts about books, reading, & me:

* I'm not an intelligent reader, just an extremely emotional one. I never understand the literary analyses and intellectual critics.
* I love poetry and I prefer the classics - Longfellow, Keats, the Bronte sisters, Shelley, and also a few more recent ones like Maya Angelou & Pablo Neruda.
*I also love Russian writers - Fyodor Dostoevsky, Anton Chekhov, Alexander Pushkin, Nikolai Gogol & Leo Tolstoy. It seems Russia used to be full of brilliant men, I wonder what's wrong with modern Russia :P
*I think Dostoevsky's 'The Brothers Karamazov' is possibly the best book I've ever read, that and Lewis Carroll's 'Alice in Wonderland.' These are two books I can read over and over and over again and still want to read some more. I used to hate people who would act like they were intellectually superior because they read Dostoevsky and others like him and they'd talk about existentialism and oedipalism and that kind of shit, but they don't even really like it but do it all just to impress people. But a friend literally forced me to read 'Crime and Punishment' and I realised I loved the book and its author, and I've been reading him ever since.
Books I recently read (ie last two months):

1. 'The Kite Runner' - Khaled Hosseini (Kinda late because I never found it very appealing and it took a friend a very long time to finally convince me to read it)
2. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
3. Angela's Ashes - Frank McCourt
4. Measuring the World - Daniel Kelhmann (Crosswords recommended, didn't like it)
5. Salmon Fishing in the Yemen - Paul Torday
6. Literary Lapses and Nonsense Novels - Stephen Leacock
7. The Girl in Blue - P.G. Wodehouse

* I also am a very fast reader, and a good one in the sense that I remember well the things I read. And also a dedicated one, I don't mind being bleary and puffy-eyed and sleep-deprived the next day if it means staying up all night finishing a good book tonight.
* I want the things I read to make me feel things, evoke strong emotions in me, I want to cry over my books, I want them to make me laugh out loud even when I'm alone and it's 3 AM. And even occasionally give me nightmares. I want them to make me think, and maybe even make me a better person, and also make me forget my eyes burn and that my head hurts.
* I generally hate romance novels. However, I do like some of the classic ones, the one romance novel I've never stopped loving is 'The Lady of the Camellias' by Alexander Dumas jr.
* I like sad writers, and the neurotic ones, the crazy ones, and all their dark thoughts. Poe would be a good example.
* I like ghost stories, but again, only the classic ones. I have quite a big collection of Victorian ghost stories.
* Going home when all my friends are out, and I know I'm going to be alone, and I know I have nothing to do, and worst of all, I know I have nothing to read makes me dread going home.
* I don't like Indian writers, I think they are big show-offs, and are mostly pretentious. I always get the feeling while reading them that they're sitting with several fancy dictionaries while writing, and for every word that they're trying to use, they flip through the dictionary to see if there's a bigger, fancier-sounding, more incomprehensible version of the word that they can use.

So you can see with the amount of time I spend at work, and the amount of time I spend reading, and the amount of time I spend going out, I am not a person that needs a lot of sleep. And the amount of time it takes me to read one book ensures that I spend as much on books as I do on clothes. Maybe clothes are more expensive, but at least I don't have to buy one every few days like I do books.

Currently reading: The Brothers Karamazov :D Yes, again. I found a new translation that I hadn't seen before last week and bought it. Also, I'm out of anything else to read. And I will be going to pick up some new books soon, so I'm open to suggestions.


07 July 2008

Only cos I have to

I have maintained some sort of activity on my online blogs, but it's pathetic that I haven't written on my real journals for months, almost a year. I feel terrible, but I've been zombified, and we all know zombies don't feel anything, so maybe it's justified in a way.

You know all that shit that people feed you about the 'first cut being the deepest' ? I've realised that it is not so. It all hurts. But that's okay because surviving difficult times and heartbreaks is not all that difficult. God made us that way. Our entire existence revolves around pain. And the funny thing is that some of the pain actually feels good.

Anyway, it's really selfish of me to talk about my pain when the world as a whole is suffering so much. Good people dying, evil people living forever, bombings, hunger, cancer, AIDS, Mugabe, plane crashes, and many others - my personal sufferings don't figure at all.

Anyway, it was Orpi's birthday yesterday, and look at what we did for her birthday cake. Tina left for San Francisco the night before, so I and Marian were running around trying to make everyone happy. Flowers for Tina, birthday gifts for Orpi, MAJOR grocery shopping, but despite all our crazy shopping, we still forgot the cake for Orpi. So we went the next morning to the closest shop and bought a plain cheese cake, and made do with what he already had in the fridge to make it pretty - which included some cherries and Kiwis, some Gems and a candle, and ta-dah!! -
I felt we did a pretty good job. I think it's prettier than my birthday cake. And it's personalised, so it's special. And here is the birthday girl herself, grinning as broadly as any birthday girl should!

01 July 2008

Always a bridesmaid....

For those of you who wondered where I disappeared to the past few days, or even if no one wondered, I'll tell you anyway - this is where, on this chapel in Bangalore, playing bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. Prettily decorated chapel isn't it?
They tried to do the pretty thing with the 3 bridesmaids as well, with not a lot of success, at least with me. They put so much makeup on me I didn't even feel like I was me, layers of foundations and whatnot, complete with fake lashes. I'm not used to wearing a lot of makeup, and my blinking was out of sync :P So I removed them all, and could finally manage a smile.
It was a really fun wedding, but if I look bored in some pictures, it's only because I'm irrationally sad these days.
Irrationally because I don't know what makes me unhappy, everything's going great and I know I have nothing to be depressed about, but nonetheless, I have frequent bouts of sadness. Fleeting ones, they come and go, but no matter how short they are, sometimes it's so intense I feel like I'm going mad. Hormones I guess.

Other updates:
1. I've been thinking a lot - about God, about life, and I'm filled with more doubts and questions each day. I just can't understand how a God who is so full of love can create something like Hell to punish his own creation, when even a vile sinner such as I would never do a thing like that to my worst enemy.

2. I had lunch with the cutest guy in the world the other day. *sigh* I get a high every day when I run into him and he smiles at me and he says 'Hi' and he makes small talk. It makes me so happy I positively glow. I enjoy this tremendously because it feels like younger days and innocence.

3. Someone left a soft toy and tons of Hershey's kisses on my desk today. I thought it heralded the dawn of a new admirer but it was only Pete finally back from Australia.

4. When I get married, I want to have a dress like that Vivienne Westwood one that Sarah Jessica Parker wore in Sex and the City movie.

5. Are you all as sane as you appear to be?