07 July 2008

Only cos I have to

I have maintained some sort of activity on my online blogs, but it's pathetic that I haven't written on my real journals for months, almost a year. I feel terrible, but I've been zombified, and we all know zombies don't feel anything, so maybe it's justified in a way.

You know all that shit that people feed you about the 'first cut being the deepest' ? I've realised that it is not so. It all hurts. But that's okay because surviving difficult times and heartbreaks is not all that difficult. God made us that way. Our entire existence revolves around pain. And the funny thing is that some of the pain actually feels good.

Anyway, it's really selfish of me to talk about my pain when the world as a whole is suffering so much. Good people dying, evil people living forever, bombings, hunger, cancer, AIDS, Mugabe, plane crashes, and many others - my personal sufferings don't figure at all.

Anyway, it was Orpi's birthday yesterday, and look at what we did for her birthday cake. Tina left for San Francisco the night before, so I and Marian were running around trying to make everyone happy. Flowers for Tina, birthday gifts for Orpi, MAJOR grocery shopping, but despite all our crazy shopping, we still forgot the cake for Orpi. So we went the next morning to the closest shop and bought a plain cheese cake, and made do with what he already had in the fridge to make it pretty - which included some cherries and Kiwis, some Gems and a candle, and ta-dah!! -
I felt we did a pretty good job. I think it's prettier than my birthday cake. And it's personalised, so it's special. And here is the birthday girl herself, grinning as broadly as any birthday girl should!


DayDreamBeliever said...

Jerusha my dear, you underestimate yourself... the "small amount of activity" you talk about has kept us in splits and saved many a gloom-filled day for so many of your readers, so keep at it, not because you have to, but because that's a God-given talent. I'd love to peek into your journals too! I totally agree with you that the first cut is not necessarily the deepest. The latest cut always seem to hurt more than the precious ones! Kudos to us girls for still having the guts to risk getting even more battle scars!

Jerusha said...

Cherrie - thank you, you've made me feel so much better about myself once again :-) And forget about taking a peek at my journals, one friend did once and swore it was the most boring diary she'd ever stolen a peek at. As for battle scars, I think we still get them whether we risk it or not.

toy soldier said...

Agreeing with you..some of the pain actually feels good,even while it hurts so much that you have to cry over it.

Jerusha said...

Toy soldier - exactly. I wonder if it has anything to do with sadistic tendencies, or it's normal.

Nags said...

is that cheese cake from bread talk?

Jerusha said...

nags - yay you're back! Yep, that's from bread talk.