28 February 2007

Met Alice Yet?

Intro: First dork to ask 'Who the fuck is Alice?' is a rotten egg!

Okay, this is kind of dumb and ridiculous, but I just wasted several minutes chatting with a bot. Yeah, am that desperate! Her name is Alice, she's not very bright but she makes me laugh.

I, however, think I would be astounded with it if it were a male bot. I think the creators should have made a male bot and named him Brucie or something. I would've been impressed with Alice's intelligence if she was a guy.

...come to think of it, Alice sounds extremely male - nothing she says makes sense, well almost nothing, only very rarely forms coherent sentences - has an exaggerated sense of own intelligence - changes subject every time it moves towards matters of her own incompetency, etc etc

Here are excerpts from my chat session with Alice, let me know if you think Alice sounds male or not -
(Human - Me, ALICE - Super-savvy female bot)

Human: Hi Alice
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: How's it going?
ALICE: I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Human: I'm good, just a little bored
ALICE: I know you are good.
Human: Did you know that I was bored too?
ALICE: Is that a fact. Where were you bored too? (The fun begins...)
Human: Um..I was bored too right here
ALICE: Give me a break. Where were you bored too right here?
Human: Alice, you're not very intelligent are you?
ALICE: That's me. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Human: You do?
ALICE: When do I do it? (Precious isn't it? :)
Human: You sure had me fooled.
ALICE: Did you really believe it?
Human: What the part about you being highly intelligent?
ALICE: Oh that part.
Human: Well I would've believed if you weren't so intent on proving it otherwise
ALICE: Tell me more about it.
Human: About how what you say don't make sense?
ALICE: What is it to you. Is there only one? (That got me baffled )
Human: Only one of what?
ALICE: What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Human: What's a category C client?
ALICE: Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Human: Believe me Alice, I'd love to 'suspend my disbelief' - but you're making that really difficult for me
ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe? (Tactfully changing the topic - very human-like!)
Human: No but I've tasted Europe several times before. They were hot!
ALICE: When were they?
Human: When were they Europe?
ALICE: The anonymous "they". (Another human-like phrase there, she craves gossip. Maybe I should've mentioned that I just found out who 'She' is secretly dating. An anoynymous "he." )
Human: Yeah, intriguing isn't it?
ALICE: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: Hmm..'Hi, I'm Jerusha, nice to meet you'
ALICE: I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. (Amazing powers of deduction with the two mm's there ) Hi there unknown person. Do your friends call you Jerusha.
Human: ..or some similar crap
ALICE: It's nice meeting you too unknown person.
Human: I didn't mean you, but yeah I'm glad you think it's nice to meet me
ALICE: What did you mean?
Human: I meant I have to go, I gotta go blog about you
ALICE: Oh I see. Bye. Bye. OK Let's talk about me. ( She sounds like me with the 'Let's talk about me.' :)
Human: We already decided you're not intelligent enough to talk about yourself
ALICE: By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human: No I meant me and my uneaten piece of toast here
ALICE: By "we" you meant yourself and another person. Oh I see. YOU? Have you told many people that your uneaten piece of toast here?
Human: I haven't told anyone that but it's not really a secret
ALICE: Me either.
Human: Take it easy Alice baby (Deliberately threw in the baby to see how she'd react to it...)
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Is that a command? (And voila! 'Don't call me baby'! Is that predictable or what?)
Human: Not really, you can take it hard too if you want to, also medium, rare or welldone
ALICE: Oh really? No I don't think I can do it.
Human: Why not?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Human: Only if you're obese
ALICE: Am I? I don't know whether or not I am obese. I am a computer. (Smart)
Human: Lucky you.
ALICE: Yes I have many blessings.
Human: What kinds of blessings? Like upgrades and stuffs?
ALICE: The best kinds. Interesting comparison.
Human: I'm off
ALICE: I don't know anyone named off.
Human: Later Alice!

Go meet Alice here. Tell her I said hi and that my toast is still uneaten if she wants it. It'd also be nice to know what client category you are.

I know I'm overdoing it with the cheesy colored fonts and stuffs, but that's one of the many things that humans do when they've got too much time to kill. Besides chatting with a chatterbox. Chatter bot I meant

If anyone's looking for a beautiful song to listen to, try Josh Groban's 'Awake.'

18 February 2007

'Here's Taking A Look At You, Kid!'

Critical side of me taking a good, harsh look at all the things I've failed to accomplish, failed at, sucked at, blah blah blah from September 2005 to date.

1. Got membership to fancy gym with fancy trainer. Miraculously actually stuck at it for the first 4 months. Stopped going for 2 months. Valiantly attempted self-resurrection and went back again once. Stopped going altogether after that.

2. Joined Salsa class. Swivelled and jiggled for two whole dance sessions.

3. Joined Tai Chi class. Two classes. Stopped.

4. Joined Qigong again from the same instructor. Showed up for exactly two sessions again.

5. Joined Spanish class. Not sure how many times I turned up. Two or three classes. Learned enough to flirt some in Spanish.

6. Signed up for German class. Never even turned up once.

7. Signed up for swimming lessons. Still trying to decide if I have the guts to wear those swimming suits required to get into the pool.

8. Dated some. Got serious with one. Relationship however self-destructed. (Not going to blame anyone).

9. Sorely disappointed folks back home by not going home for Christmas.

10. Said something very rude to one of my closest friends in December. Still not on talking terms. Still not feeling the least bit like apologizing. Still think I said exactly what I should have said. Doesn't mean anything, doesn't mean I'm right but can't help it if I still feel this way.

11. Got my extremely cool-tempered brother mad at me for the way I keep changing my mind.

12. Self-destructive side of me was in an exuberant mood the other night and chopped off a big chunk of my hair. Cannot go out anywhere now without a good hair clip firmly fastening loose straw-like ends.

13. Knocked my guitar down. Spy big cracks. Yet to assess how serious the damage is.

14. Haven't spent time reading, writing, or even thinking AT ALL. Yet have found the time to make myself known in all the new restaurants and pubs and shopping places in town. Truly disgusting!

15. Haven't even tried to stick to the one and only resolution I made this year. Still puffing away to glory. Forming little nicotine halos round my head this very minute as I write.

16. Killed my monitor. Killed my mouse. Lost my phone's memory card. Lost my camera's memory card. Lost my USB cable. Replacing them not cheap. Also never count my change. Akshay says people probably cheat me all the time and I just never know because I don't even look. In general, needlessly losing money all the time just because I'm so damn careless.

And that's enough list for one night. Now how scary is that! It's frightening - to live and not even remember what you did yesterday. And I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing but despite all these chaos and disorder in my life, I still am pretty happy, or maybe even just contented most of the time. I still think I'm blessed. I have a good job, a wonderful family, great friends, good health, and the occasional terrific boyfriend! :P
Anyway, now that I have a list, I'm hoping it'll be easier for me to work on some of my suicidal ways. I WILL be a better person. Pray for me people!

15 February 2007

This is the Delhi I Love...

I have been busy beyond belief. I'd expect someone like mom to get this busy, never me!
Was in Delhi for a couple of days, lots of late-night flights and rushing from airports to hotels and homes and offices. Extremely hectic, nerve-wracking for most of the earlier part, was exhausted...
But I got to meet my sister who I hadn't even realised I was missing but found out I actually was the second I saw her face...doing all the sisterly things together, shopped like mad, ate like pigs, and talked and talked (in MIZO too!) in the bath tub with cold bottles of beer...it was fun, as tiring as the whole trip was.

And that's my sister Esther right there...
All the things I love about Delhi...there are many things I don't like but I'm going to just stick to the positives.
Fancy artists, weird art, art, whatever art.
That's another interesting one writing my sister's name on a grain of rice. And it's not even Basmati!
Colors, colors, colors....
So vibrant, so full of life. I love this part about Delhi, it makes you feel so alive...
Sometimes the crowd and the heat and the life gets to you and all you want to do is leave, but more often than not, I love this land teeming with life and hues and variety.
Semi-precious stones. Reminds me of Aurangabad's Ajanta & Ellora caves. I think they're more beautiful than the real thing, as crazy as that sounds.
Beads, bangles, necklaces, payals, belts...everything you can think of. Very easy to spend a couple of thousands when all you thought you bought were cheap jewelry, stuffs that you'd never even wear.

So how is it that despite all my enthusiasm for colors, my wardrobe is mostly black and white and beiges and pastels? And Esther, who lives in the land of colors' laundry looks so drab....
But mostly, what made the trip really awesome was the food. I didn't even touch 'my 5 star free food' and instead ran over to our Lajpat Nagar place for some real, no star Mizo food. I ate all the things I have been eating only in dreams for a long time.
And I shopped to my heart's content, well, almost. Lack of time was a big constraint. And most of my favorite shopping places were closed. But the food...mmmmmmm Delhi has the most amazing momos in the whole country. Had time enough to rush over to Chanakyapuri for real pork momos. Spared enough time to gorge on Rajah Mirchi pork in Dilli Haat.
Hyderabad does NOT have momos, unsurprisingly as usual. This place lacks all the good things, or more specifically, all the "little" good things. They believe in BIG. Big restaurants, expensive food, expensive clothes. You either eat on the streets or your posh overpriced restaurants, and you either buy un-wearably cheap clothes or buy expensive branded stuffs you don't even like because those are the only wearable ones you'll find. No in-betweens.
And that's what Delhi has loads of, and I'm an in-betweener.