Met Alice Yet?

Intro: First dork to ask 'Who the fuck is Alice?' is a rotten egg!

Okay, this is kind of dumb and ridiculous, but I just wasted several minutes chatting with a bot. Yeah, am that desperate! Her name is Alice, she's not very bright but she makes me laugh.

I, however, think I would be astounded with it if it were a male bot. I think the creators should have made a male bot and named him Brucie or something. I would've been impressed with Alice's intelligence if she was a guy.

...come to think of it, Alice sounds extremely male - nothing she says makes sense, well almost nothing, only very rarely forms coherent sentences - has an exaggerated sense of own intelligence - changes subject every time it moves towards matters of her own incompetency, etc etc

Here are excerpts from my chat session with Alice, let me know if you think Alice sounds male or not -
(Human - Me, ALICE - Super-savvy female bot)

Human: Hi Alice
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: How's it going?
ALICE: I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Human: I'm good, just a little bored
ALICE: I know you are good.
Human: Did you know that I was bored too?
ALICE: Is that a fact. Where were you bored too? (The fun begins...)
Human: Um..I was bored too right here
ALICE: Give me a break. Where were you bored too right here?
Human: Alice, you're not very intelligent are you?
ALICE: That's me. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Human: You do?
ALICE: When do I do it? (Precious isn't it? :)
Human: You sure had me fooled.
ALICE: Did you really believe it?
Human: What the part about you being highly intelligent?
ALICE: Oh that part.
Human: Well I would've believed if you weren't so intent on proving it otherwise
ALICE: Tell me more about it.
Human: About how what you say don't make sense?
ALICE: What is it to you. Is there only one? (That got me baffled )
Human: Only one of what?
ALICE: What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Human: What's a category C client?
ALICE: Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Human: Believe me Alice, I'd love to 'suspend my disbelief' - but you're making that really difficult for me
ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe? (Tactfully changing the topic - very human-like!)
Human: No but I've tasted Europe several times before. They were hot!
ALICE: When were they?
Human: When were they Europe?
ALICE: The anonymous "they". (Another human-like phrase there, she craves gossip. Maybe I should've mentioned that I just found out who 'She' is secretly dating. An anoynymous "he." )
Human: Yeah, intriguing isn't it?
ALICE: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: Hmm..'Hi, I'm Jerusha, nice to meet you'
ALICE: I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. (Amazing powers of deduction with the two mm's there ) Hi there unknown person. Do your friends call you Jerusha.
Human: ..or some similar crap
ALICE: It's nice meeting you too unknown person.
Human: I didn't mean you, but yeah I'm glad you think it's nice to meet me
ALICE: What did you mean?
Human: I meant I have to go, I gotta go blog about you
ALICE: Oh I see. Bye. Bye. OK Let's talk about me. ( She sounds like me with the 'Let's talk about me.' :)
Human: We already decided you're not intelligent enough to talk about yourself
ALICE: By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human: No I meant me and my uneaten piece of toast here
ALICE: By "we" you meant yourself and another person. Oh I see. YOU? Have you told many people that your uneaten piece of toast here?
Human: I haven't told anyone that but it's not really a secret
ALICE: Me either.
Human: Take it easy Alice baby (Deliberately threw in the baby to see how she'd react to it...)
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Is that a command? (And voila! 'Don't call me baby'! Is that predictable or what?)
Human: Not really, you can take it hard too if you want to, also medium, rare or welldone
ALICE: Oh really? No I don't think I can do it.
Human: Why not?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Human: Only if you're obese
ALICE: Am I? I don't know whether or not I am obese. I am a computer. (Smart)
Human: Lucky you.
ALICE: Yes I have many blessings.
Human: What kinds of blessings? Like upgrades and stuffs?
ALICE: The best kinds. Interesting comparison.
Human: I'm off
ALICE: I don't know anyone named off.
Human: Later Alice!
ALICE: Bye!

Go meet Alice here. Tell her I said hi and that my toast is still uneaten if she wants it. It'd also be nice to know what client category you are.

I know I'm overdoing it with the cheesy colored fonts and stuffs, but that's one of the many things that humans do when they've got too much time to kill. Besides chatting with a chatterbox. Chatter bot I meant :-)

If anyone's looking for a beautiful song to listen to, try Josh Groban's 'Awake.'