By we, I mean me and all the good women who's got the luck to share the same gender and are reveling in their womanhood, the bearers of the double X chromosome, the soft and beautiful, better-smelling, smarter sex. We are all that yes, but I really do believe that we also possess more capacity to do harm.
Men's lack of general spite, I suspect, springs mainly from the thickness that seems to prevail in their cranial cavities. I'm not saying they're dumb of course. Most of the truly brilliant people I know are all male, but it's also true that I strongly believe (and I'm pretty sure I'm right :D) that I am smarter than most men I've met, while I come across women way smarter than me every day.
(That's just to tick off the men. That's the kind of statement that has high potential to pervade that previously mentioned thickness, and somehow reach the sleeping thing that resides in the cavity, and whisper to it that something has been said that is perhaps eligible for deeper contemplation because it's possibly offensive. Deeper contemplation will take approximately 2 seconds and they will have already lost their temper before those 2 seconds are up).
Other statements of similar potential -
* Let's have sex.
* Oops, I spilled soda on your keyboard.
* He's taller than you are.
* I'm pregnant.
You know, stuff like that. By potential, I mean the ability to kick some of those sleeping neurons into transmitting some sort of chemical signals - the end result is subjective and may vary highly from subject to subject, rage and panic and sexual arousal being one of the more common reactions.
If you want it to resume as it is, you can try saying nothing - always works, or 'Take the trash out,' 'Don't forget to feed the dog,' or even just a simple 'Let's talk.' (I believe peace will reign on earth and in all households if all women can adopt this strategy. After all, didn't someone who must've been pretty smart and who put her brains to good use say something about letting sleeping dogs lie?)
Anyway, I'm straying. What I want to talk about here is how we women can be so much more difficult and vindictive and nasty and....you know, just difficult. I will not even go into the whole animal kingdom stories, we all know those too well already. Let's just try to keep it human(e).
How many stories have you heard about the bride not getting along with her husband's brothers or father? Not a lot, I'll bet. Now, replace the male kinsmen with the female relations. See what I mean? Mothers-in-law are subjects of absolute terror, and the sisters-in-law, at best, seems to excel at frosty dislike or plain indifference.
Personally, putting aside romantic relationships, men have always been my best friends, best comforts, and without fail, make the best company. Because they're easy. Put me in a room full of men and I will be friends with all of them in 10 minutes. Forging friendship with women, on the other hand, is a long, hard struggle for me. Like I said, this may be just personal but I love men that way. I shared a house with 3 guys once, and that was one of the most peaceful cohabitation with more than 1 human being I've ever had.
Another example to prove my point: In my gym, we have two trainers - a guy and a girl. For every set of exercise that I do, my male trainer tells me to do two sets of 10, while my female trainer is never satisfied with less than two sets of 20. And she'd stand and watch me huff and puff, muscles quivering, flesh wobbling, tears and sweat streaming down my face and I would seek her eyes for some sort of sympathy, but it'd only remind me of the villain in the Terminator movie after his flesh burned off and only his metallic skeleton remained, with those two sets of cold, unfeeling, red blinking lights. And I'd think about how she should be in a movie, and how she'd make a good villain, you know those types that carry poison darts in their hair. And blow it on little children for practice.
So I keep wondering why these gentle, warm, peace-loving creatures like us so much, we who have the power to disrupt their peaceful existences, and who would most likely put that power to use - intentionally or unintentionally. Because I think if I were a guy, I'd steer clear of us. And I think I better stop right now and sleep because this is going to lead me back to sleeping cranial cavities and I'd go round and round in circles and never sleep and be red-eyed and mean-assed at work tomorrow.
p.s - Men, don't come accusing me again of being sexist, I love you guys :P It's just the way the thoughts form in my head and my fingers fall on my keyboard :-)