I have been working so hard these past few months have been a blurry haze to me. Office work, house work - both. I have always felt ashamed to be 'young' and healthy and able-bodied but to be hiring a maid to wash my clothes, clean my room, wash my floors, cook me food. ..so I don't, much to the chagrin of most of my friends who believe a maid is one of the basic necessities of life.
'Hired helps are cheap, so why not?' they say, and sometimes I ask myself the same question. But the thing is, I just don't want to. And I know no maid will clean or cook as well as I do :-) I'm painful that way because when it comes to work - of any kind , there's no one I trust more than myself. So there. That's why I am maid-less to this day. And probably will be for the rest of my life - or as long as I'm able.
But the flip side of all this is when life gets too hectic, and I work my ass off, and I go home and even if all I want is something as simple as a nice cup of tea, I have to do it all myself - on any normal working day. We do get to go on nice trips and vacations, but when vacations are over and you're back, tired from long trips, and there is dusting and unpacking and suitcase full of laundry to be done - and who else to do them but yourself? So even taking vacations are not all that restful, the aftermath is just too tiresome.
I was bemoaning my fate to a very sympathetic friend one night. "I wrack my brain trying to think of ways to make my clients happy, to make my family or friends happy, to make their lives easier, all the running arounds I do for them but there's no one trying to make my life better!" (Selfish selfish I know, but still...I can lament a bit can't I?).
My friend, caring and loving as he was, was alarmed to see me like that because I am most of the time annoyingly chirpy. "Tell me what you want me to do for you and I'll do it!" he said. I said there was nothing. "What do you want? I'll get it for you" he offered. Men always think 'buying' is the solution to everything. He immediately thought what I wanted was something to be bought, something available in a store...But the thing is, if buying something was to make me that happy, if it was that simple, I would buy it myself. And even if someone buying me something would make me happy, it's just not that special when they do it because you asked for it. I want something that's unasked for, even if it's just a cup of tea.
As sweet as the sentiment was, it just made me unfairly angry with him. I know I have wonderful people in my life who genuinely love me and care for me. But sometimes I think they all think I'm Super Woman - made of steel. But I want some pampering sometimes. Have you heard of Kenny Roger's 'Buy Me a Rose' - that would pretty much sum up what I'm trying to say, just without the romantic connotation.
He thinks she wants a three car garage
Her own credit cards
If he could only read her mind
She'd say -
Buy me a rose,
Call me from work,
Open a door for me,
What would it hurt
Show me you love me
By the look in your eyes
These are the little things
I need the most in my life...
Or maybe I should just focus more on what I have. When I went away last week without telling anyone, and most of the time keeping my phone locked in my hotel room, Superman on my last day finally called a friend of mine who happened to be sitting right next to me at the time so I took the call. He yelled at me - "Why did you go away like that without saying anything!? Where is your phone? Why were all my calls unanswered? Not answering emails, never present online! I have been worried sick!" But to know that I was alive more or less satisfied him. Maybe that's as good as buying me an unasked-for rose?
Maybe not :(