17 November 2008

This is not Wright! (My Airplane Woes - I)

Many things are right about flying high above the earth, but then, there are so many things that are not - right from booking tickets to landing and walking out of a plane! You're never really safe until you're at least a few kilometres away from the nearest airport. I have so many woes I will have to break this up into several small parts.

First, starting with airplane woe # 1 - Why in the world do I never get seated next to a hot guy in a plane?! It's a modest enough wish - to want to sit next to a hot guy, or even if not physically hot, someone who is capable of mind-blowing conversation to help kill the time. I don't expect it to happen every time I step inside a plane, but I think it's fair to hope for some good luck just once in a while. I mean, how simple is that? Especially when you're on a 24+ long flight, when your butt aches, and your muscles cramp, and you're bored stiff, a nice guy would definitely help.

But no. Never happens, not once in a while, not ever! I sit next to sleepers, snorers, annoying children, very old people, or just rude-looking people, the type that looks at you like you're prey, or people I share no common language with - EVERY damn time! There will be cute guys in the plane, fate will just see to it they are seated as far away from you as possible.

I was on such a morbidly long flight once, hoping that I'd get someone fun. And guess who I landed? This man from Punjab, 60 something, spoke no English, French, or Mizo :P Hungry all the time, complained a lot about the Indian meals they served, and when he wanted extra bread (or anything else), he would just raise his hand, and shout at the top 0f his voice 'P-R-R-E-A-D'! And me sitting on the aisle seat meant almost all the heads that turned to look would only see me.

I think this is a joke that fate likes to play on me. I mean, just think, what are the chances of landing a Punjabi seatmate in San Francisco!? Not a lot right? But yep, it happened to me! And that is just one of many instances.

Airplane woe # 2 - Woe, because all my life's saving is with big airplane companies, and not in my bank savings as they should be. What the frig is with the airfares in India?! I just went and booked tickets for my Christmas trip home. I had a friend with me who was booking tickets for her Christmas trip to Zurich. And I will understand if you think I am lying, but I paid only Rs 100 less for my Aizawl ticket than she did for her Zurich ticket!

Zurich, Switzerland from Hyderabad, India, and Mizoram, India from Hyderabad, India - a 9+ hour long flight, and a 3.45 hour long flight, both round-trip flights, and just a hundred rupees difference. Yeah I know, WHAT THE HELL!

Incidentally, this same airfare to Mizoram is more than what I paid for my Thailand tickets. But why am I even wasting my breath? I should be used to this great land where we are forced to pay first class prices for third class services all the time! But I'm still so unsatisfied with Indian Airlines and their crappy planes, sulky attendants, and terrible food (esp. Kol-Azl flight ).

(And yes, if you have been dreaming of a trip to Switzerland, but have always thought it'd be too expensive, it's not if you can afford to travel within India. You can afford it, so go in peace and book your tickets now. It really is that cheap!)

Airplane woe #3 - Air Deccan and their stupid no-refund policy! You know how they have that thing about canceling, but not getting your money back, but having to redeem that amount minus cancellation charges to book other flights with them within 6 months. Well, I think that's got to be the most ridiculous, absurd, money-grabbing scheme ever! What if it's someone that don't even travel a lot?

I once booked a flight for almost Rs 7000 that I had to cancel later. Naturally, since I had all those funds stuck with them, I had to fly Air Deccan even though I think they suck big time, so I used the money to book a Rs 2000 flight a few weeks later. I traveled several times during the course of the remaining 6 months, but had to travel by different airlines as Deccan didn't have tickets available for my desired times/dates. And before I knew it, my 6 months was up, leaving my Rs 4000 something balance stranded with Deccan. Air Deccan, is this kinda like a punishment for canceling my flight in the first place? Well anyway, f*** you and I will never book any of my flights with you again, even if it means traveling by donkeys! And much safer not to anyway, all their planes look and sound like they can fall apart any minute.

Also, Thai Airways took almost a month (or was it even more than a month) to process my refund. Anyway, what is it with these airlines in India? I'm afraid all my frustration with them will kill my love for traveling. And I know they are never quite this difficult in other countries. When it comes to horrid customer service, I think a lot of these airlines are second only to....Citibank. Citibank's customer service is the stuff of nightmares, so I won't even go there.

Whew! End of part 1. And if I come across as a major whiner, and I know I may be one at this point, but I'm really only angry that I have all this Christmas shopping to do, and my iPod died, which means I need a new one, and all my friends seem to be having their birthdays this time of the year, so that's a lot of expenses, AND then booking all these flight tickets is no way to be Mother Teresa-like for sure!

28 comments:

Lucy said...

Ah!...Found it.

Let me comment first and then read and comment again. I think I deserve it..

Lucy said...

Whew!! That's some whining there...:D
I can even feel your frustrations in my bones..

But I say Amen!

Jerusha said...

haha I'm still editing, but go ahead and do whatever, I think you deserve it too :)

Jerusha said...

haha Lucy, in my defense, I would like to say that I don't do this much whining in real life :)

Lucy said...

Haha..Glad to hear that. It's healthy to whine from time to time anyway.

I just had a deja vu..funny.

Jinx said...

lolz @woes #1.What if you sat with an intelligent woman..would your frustration change then? Just asking ;) Reg.'hot' guys, take heart...ur not the only one hahaha! I'm ok without conversations though, mostly because of the annoying droning sound!

#2-Amen!Though on a slightly different situation- my ticket from Cn-Oz was cheaper than Cn-India.Unfair!! *sob..sob*

#3-Very informative. Don't know much about cancellation rules for airlines in India. Will keep that in mind since I may need to book domestic flights in India- hopefully soon.*Keeping my fingers crossed*:P

Macabreday said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Macabreday said...

and i thought only I never got to sit next to a good lookin woman, not just on a flight, but on a train too......NEVER HAPPENED.....!!

luliana said...

next time ah chuan tlangval hmeltha tawkkk 2 in an laitat maithei che :P

toy soldier said...

Its darn funny how you write every lil' thing so interesting (not that these things you write are little)

Wish you all the hot_available_men in your next flight :D

Jerusha said...

lucy - more about the deja vu,,,?

jinx - Answer: No it wouldn't. If it was an intelligent woman capable of good convo, I would simply watch a movie, read, or plug in my earphones. The only women I'm ever interested in having conversation with are my regular people, friends. Otherwise, no fun. But you already knew that anyway haha - And when you come back to Hindustan, remember, do NOT book Deccan!

Jerusha said...

mac - I feel much better. Really! Sadistic? To know that people are going through the same pain :)

lulian - hope bonthengs rih phots hi ni mai tihtheih awm chhun chu.

toy soldier - thanks! And yes, God willing, my next step inside a plane will be on the 17th of Dec - so keep your fingers crossed for me ya'll!!!

claytonia vices said...

Well the unwritten policy of all airlines is, 'bring your own hot guys, we don't serve them' LOL!

may your ipod rest in peace... looks like your personal finances are set for a meltdown...

Jerusha said...

Clay - No I think the unwritten policy is if you fly often enough, and spend all you have with us, you'll be part of a lucky draw, and the winner gets to be seated next to a hot person of the opposite gender. I believe I haven't spent enough to enter the draw yet...

And yep, bad bad thing that Christmas and ipod's death and world financial crisis all have to come together at the same time.

Varte said...

Novel chhiar nasat vang niang, kei pawh Thlawhna ka chuan apiang hian Tlangval hmeltha, zei si, hausa si hi chuanpui ka tum ve ziah a.. mahse a vanduai theih khawp mai.

I next flight-ah chuan lo luck ve tawh rawh. Kei pawh ka tum.

Eng lam mai pawh hi i sawi ngaihnawm viau zel mai, ziak mi tak i lo nih hi..

Jerusha said...

haha varte - I ti lawmawm e! Keipawh ka expectations tam tak hi chu ka lehkhabu chhiar hi a cause tu chu an ni in ka hria, partly. Ka next flight zawh ah ka rawn report leh ang ka luck ve leh ve loh :)

Calliopia said...

Haha what a let rip post! I don't travel half as much as you do but I may have had a little more luck with travelling companions. On a flight to Hyd'bad many years ago, I was seated alone with two empty seats beside me and this young nice-looking guy was also alone in the opposite aisle. It being my first time to Hyd, I'd bought this Hyd city guide at Dumdum and was busy perusing it when he slipped into the empty seat next to mine and introduced himself. Turned out he was a Hyd native just back from a longish stint in the States and we got chatting. He even dropped me at the place I was to stay which was such a nice thing to do since the flight had been delayed and we'd arrived around 9, not a good time for a single girl to arrive at a strange new place. I once also met this really nice young guy on a Rajdhani train but that's another story....

Sekibuhchhuak said...

Umm..air deccan chu lak miah loh tur nih chu.

Hmanah keipawh Thai nula tawih ve deuh hi ka chuanpui a, zin kawng tawi kan ti mai mai khawp ah. ka rilruin kan tumna tur Airport ah khan tum thei lo ila, hmundang airport ah te tum kual vel phawt ta ila te ka ti rilru a :D

next flight ah chuan 'hawt' deuh thut pui ve tawh ngei ang :)

VaiVa said...

Tlangval hot deuh i thut pui hunah chuan "Vanram tlafual ah hian..." tih hla kha i hriat chhuah loh ngei ka bei sei..lol

Kol-Azl flight sawi takah chuan... chuan man hi nep deuh chi niin ka hria... sawrkar in 50% min tlawm a, aman tlawm chi min la pe duh der lo lehnghal a. Chuvang chuan ka hmanhmawh lo thin bawk a ka thlawk vak lo. Tun tum zet chu kumkhatah vawi khat a thlawnin min phal sak ta bawk a ka thlawk ve ziah tawh ang...

Nula hot deuh kan beisei ve teh ang....

Jerusha said...

J - see that's exactly what I mean!! SO I cry out again once "UNFAIR"!! I'm not really a frequent flyer myself, but let's assume that I have stepped inside a plane a few more times than you do, wouldn't that up my chance of getting a hot guy? And I can't count the number of times I've traveled by train, but I've never met anyone sexily 'memorable' :) haha

Seki - Nia, Deccan chu chuan loh top a him ber, eng vang emaw in cancel thut theih ania, nangni India a awm lo tan leh phei chuan loss hlang ani mai, chutah midang pawh hmantir phal a la ni lo zui.

Chuan nangpawh chu nula chhe lo I lo chuanpui tawh bik a, fair lohna in rawn tilangsar zual zel e!

vaiva - Hmanhmawh loh a hun neih chuan thlawh loh hi pawi ka ti miah lo, bus travel te pawh hi nuam ka ti phian a mahse kar 2 tih vel chiah chawlh neih a karah train leh bus a haw chu hun hi uihawm lutuk thin a.

Naupang^Fel said...

Mahse deccan chu khawchhiat lai in an thlawk huai a lawm. Mizoram atanga thlawh dawn phei chuan lak ngei ngei tur deccan fur lai chuan. Air india chu an dawih lutuk a flight an cancel vak vak a. Connecting flight or train neih phei chuan schedule a buai vek zel.

By the way, they're no longer Deccan but Kingfisher Red. Yes, kingfisher :)

Lucy said...

Jerusha, I so need to talk to you. Could you spare a few minutes online whenever you are free? Night, Day...

mesjay said...

Oh ho, hard luck upon hard luck. What about hitchhiking next time instead of flying? Hee hee!

Jerusha said...

Ka nau - Nih chu ni ve tho mai, an poisa duh lutuk vang hi lawm an huai em em pakhat ah chuan :P Kingfisher in an lak hnu hian an improve ve deuh ka beisei nia, theih chuang loh rere!

Lucy - sure, would be fun to talk! I am online throughout the day. What do you use? yahoo, google talk, skype - pick any and let me know! :) I'll add you.

mesjay - That might be a good idea, I can actually handpick who I get to sit next to right? Assuming people stop for me...

virgochhas said...

*tsk tsk tsk* poor gurl...ka luck thei phian kei chu...hot guy lam lo in, mahse titi pui nuam tak tak hi ka chuanpui fuh thei khawp :D

*luck ve na awmchhun*

Jerusha said...

Virg - hei tak hi lawm ka vuina, mi zawng zawng keima tih loh chu an luck vek ani berin ka hria :(

Lucy said...

frittolina@gmail.com

hehe...yeah I know..funny name. It has a long story.

Jerusha said...

Lucy, added you! Accept me, and feel free to ping whenever you see me glowing green :)