17 September 2008

Paranoia

Have I mentioned here before that I'm planning a trip to Thailand with a few of my friends in October? Anyway, I already have my tickets booked from the 17th - 26th. Which means 9 whole days of fun of sand and sea. But there's something that bothers me now, and I need to know if I'm being ridiculously stupid or should I listen to the voices in my head?

I am not prone to nightmares as an adult, but for the past few months, I've been having this recurring dream about being caught in a massive tidal wave. What always plays out in the dream - I'm on a beach somewhere having a good time, the first part of the dream is always good. Then out of the blue, I see this massive tower of water over me, like wayyy high, several storeys high, crashing down on me, and there would be absolutely no time or place to run. And it always ends there, I never see what happens after that. I would wake up terrified, my heart racing. The feeling would be so intense that I would still feel disturbed even the next day.

The day we booked our tickets, I started thinking about our little island trips (we're planning on going island-hopping), and instead of getting excited, I just became anxious because the dream kept coming into my head. and I have been feeling uneasy about it ever since.

Then, to make things worse, my mom, who is a worry wart by nature when it comes to her kids going on long journeys, but who is understanding and usually keeps her worries in check, freaked out on me. She kept saying she's got a bad feeling about my upcoming trip. She who can calm down when I go halfway across the planet alone, now refusing to see reason, acting like a super-nervous cat when my destination is only a mere 4-hour plane ride away.

I have a good mind to go cancel my ticket, and just not go. But I've been looking forward to this trip for a long time, and I really really want to go.

Am I just being irrationally nervous, am I being paranoid? Or should I listen to the voices and cancel?! But I'd feel sooo stupid if I decide to cancel. I'll feel better if I get some sleep I guess. I need the trip.

.....

24 comments:

Joseph said...

what i heard is that... "dreams are always the opposite" :-)

dont be scared.. ho lutuk.

VaiVa said...

mumang nung an tih ang hi Daniala te thianho leh Lal Davida te khan an nei a sin.... i lonei ve mial te hi ani ang e... just kidding

Everything shall be fine as always. LOL..! Phuket Beach chu ni em lo maw mumang lamah lo lang thin!!!

azassk said...

mak ve deuh chu hmasang ata tawh mumang hian mihringte rilru a kaihruai ve tlat asin. eeng society pawh hian mumang nena in kungkaih thawnthu hi kan nei vekin ka hria. Kawng leh lamah chua nu leh pa te thuzawm te pawh hi a tha a nia, nula nu te thu awi thei tak i nia, remchang dangah i la kal thei tho a lawm:)

Nags said...

i think you will be fine once you see the sand. trust me. i know its tough goin till then but u will be fine :) i know it!

if you are even remotely going via singapore, buzz me!

virgochhas said...

kei chu ka mumang hi a opposite in a tak ah a thleng ziah...

girl, i think u read too much :)... ur a very very lucky girl...nothing bad will happen...Pathian hriat mi i ni alawm...

go enjoy...and we hope to enjoy the pictures of Thailands beautiful islands

Sekibuhchhuak said...

Ni e, pi Virgo sawi ang deuh khian, Pathian ring chungin kan kal tawp la, eng em i ti lovang..Thailand chu anuam e mai..Han kal la,An nula te an chhe lo thei si, an thlalak nalh deuh deuh lo post dawn nia :-)

Jerusha said...

father - Ni e tiro. Mumang a thih chuan dam reina te kan tih thin kha..

vaiva - phuket chu a nih loh hram ka beisei ka mumanga ka beach hmuh thin hi chu, phuket kan kalna hmasa ber tur a la ni zui :)

zars - ni ve tlat e, mumang hi sawi hi a tam ve reuh ltk a chu chuan alawm ka awm ti nuam lo rum rum tuu..

Jerusha said...

nags - Yep, I think I'll grow excited when it draws closer :) And no Singapore stopovers unfortunately, all going to be direct flights.

virg - I ti lawmawm e. Keipawh ka nu bulah ka tan ve na deuh chu, drugs ti vak a overdose vang te nih loh chuan, tumah Pathian in kan thih hun tur a ruat bakah kan thi chuang lo..te kan ti ve a.

seki - an nula te chhiat loh lam ai chuan, an tlangval te chhiat leh chhiat loh thu a pawimawh zawk alawm :P Mahse mipa ho tan nula chhe lo thla chu tlem azawng rawn hawn ka rawn tum ang ka kal chuan.

luliana said...

no worry hotunu..hmanni deuh khan ka ni pawhin 'ka mumangah i lo fail a' a tia..chuan nimin piah khan result a chhuak a, ka lo pass daih asin le :) lungmuang takin han zin phawt mai teh khai..

DayDreamBeliever said...

Pray over it. I'm sure things will be fine. Have a great trip. Looking forward to details when you come back.

PS: Congrats, luliana

Evangeline said...

I would suggest you go there with a good life jacket/boat... :).. oh!! and try to pick up the basics of swimming long distance :).. Just kidding, am sure u'll be fine.. but i would suggest u ask u'r mom why she is worried.... maybe another reason??OH ask grandma too,..

Jerusha said...

lulian - ni e zin ang, cancel dawn lo rere! :) Chuan congrats em em bawk le! A lawmnan in hostel siam dan dik tak a siam vawksa ei a va chakawm ve!

Cherrie - I'm actually starting to feel much better. Now there is no thought of canceling at all. Anyway, it's still quite a bit far off, ample time to keep changing my mind at least a dozen times before then :P

Jerusha said...

haha eva - I think the best thing is to avoid the subject altogether. My mom's main reason was Christmas being near, and how everytime she watches the news she sees catastrophes. Train wreck in Amrika, and other multiple plane crashes...

Calliopia said...

Since maybe about 10 years ago, every time I'm about to travel, I have this niggling idea that I might never get back home so I make sure to leave everything as tidy as possible, right down to clearing all debts and stuff. Of course, I always get back safe and sound so I guess it's just some subconscious sense of mortality knocking on the door. You go have a wonderful time :)

illusionaire said...

Gurl, stop listening to those stupid voices in your head and go have a blast! Trust me, you hesitate and you'll only regret it later. The world is your oyster and make the best out of it.

And take lotsa pictures and post them for us to see.

So where in Thailand are you planning to go? Make sure you go to bangkok. I'm sure a girl like you will enjoy it. And oh, make sure you go to the capital of Thailand too.

:-D

toy soldier said...

Theres also another saying that"if u think about sumthing too much..there is a good chance of it coming for real"..
Not trying to get u scared though:)..
Thil dang daih:
Sap trawng hi nang ng vel hi chuan thm i la,ka blog hi ngaih nawm ngot ang..haha
BAWL tel lo in.

Jerusha said...

J - yeah I used to be that way too, but I think I stopped at some point. So that's why I'm suddenly feeling all nervous at this sudden re-appearencfe :)

kims - Bleh! Bangkok hilton thlak e mai a! Phuket, Koh Samui, Krabi, three main priorities. The rest of it as we feel like :P

toy - thank you! for the words of reassurance, and the rest of it. Takes me on a super high, makes for a perfect Friday evening! :)

elvy Leivang said...

I've read the whole thing and I would have cancel if I were you....U know me....

Naupang^Fel said...

Eng em i ti lo ang, kal rawh. terminator a mi tur thil tlem a zawng ron shoot bawk ula.

mesjay said...

Your dreams were probably caused by anxiety, then they in turn feed it, going round in a circle. Pray, listen carefully to what God tells you and do it, is what i'd advise.

benjamin said...

stay safe and enjoy!

Jerusha said...

Elvy, you lover of drama and the occult! LOL you're worse than my sister!

mes - that's exactly it! I just wish sometimes God would just speak to me in human voice and tell me 'yes' or 'no.' It would make things so much easier.

ben - hopefully :-)

mnowluck said...

Off topic deuh ka lo comment tengs.... I home vdo chu ..Can't stop watching it .. Mimi chu in va bawl nasa ve.. :D

Jerusha said...

ka nau, bawl lam pawh ni vak lo! Kan ngaisang alawm :P