29 January 2009

I hate beauty mags and gossip columnists!

For everyone who RSS'ed me - I pulled out the temporarily-published post which was supposed to represent my all-important monthly Mizo post. I wrote that half-asleep and it needs to be polished.

In the meantime, can I just talk about how much I hate beauty magazines once again? I know I've mentioned this a sickening amount of times, but I went and stumbled into one again. And I need to let it out. Not so much about how they make you feel ugly, but how they think they should tell you what is in and what is not and what I should and should not wear. They talk like they're this superior, all-knowing race of humans who, in heartless pity and contemptuous humour, have decided to grace us with their fake, glossy, papery selves and dictate to us what rules our drab little lives have to live by.

I hate the way they try to make it sound like their tastes represents the world's. Where's all that talk about beauty in diversity!

It may be a tad funny when they tell you what kind of gifts you should give your boyfriends, but it becomes teeth-gnashing annoying when they tell you what "chic" gifts you should get from men - AND - what you should not get! It's not cool for a woman above a certain age to get teddies and chocolates, they say. The gall! I'll like whatever I want, and I'll dislike whatever I want. If I get fluffy, baby blue teddies with pink ribbon bows from a man I really like at 45, I'll still like them if I like them.

And the season's in things -"This month's color is pink - so girls, what are you waiting for? Swathe yourselves in pink even if pink looks horrible on you and go make big fools of yourselves!" Or, "Black is no longer in so stash away your LBDs" - they'll say. "Kiss your man like this, touch him like this, play with your jewelry like this, glance at him like that this season....."

I mean, who wrote all this? I'd imagine by perfect women who earn top money doing basically nothing, whose boyfriends never cheat on them, and they get expensive lingerie as gifts and it always fits them beautifully, they are unaffected by all earthly womanly defects - like cellulite, and stretch marks, and dark circles, and they also possess the power to set their men aflame with passion with just one kiss. Always! All that besides the superior intelligence.

That has to be it. You can come and tell me these women don't look like goddesses like they sound like, or that they get itchy nipples, or that their boyfriends cheat on them, I wouldn't believe you.

You're probably thinking 'Why is she reading them if she hates them so much?' But in my defense, I'd like to state that I stay away from them when I can, which is almost all the time. But one gets stuck in rooms full of ONLY glamour mags for hours sometimes. Very little that can be done at such times.

It's a good thing most people don't take them too seriously. Maybe everyone's smarter than they think, or just can't afford to live the cool, high-flying (also unreal, fake, empty) life they try to promote. It's still a world of beautiful variety and colorful individuals with colorful tastes. Imagine what it would be like if we were to all take them seriously. We'd walk out into a world where every woman wears the same perfume, same color lipsticks, clothes, and accessories. Likes the same things, same hobby, also kiss the same way, flirt the same way, make love the same way even. Exactly what the month's edition tells them is cool. B-o-r-i-n-g.

Or are they just not serious? They're kidding. None of this is supposed to be taken seriously, is that it? If so, I apologise for being stupid and thinking they are for real.

As for the gossip columnists, all I can say is that I really don't hate them. I'd never want to marry one, but I like them much better then fashion mags - is all I have to say about them.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well I do appreciate your feelings which ought to be respected.One aspect which need to be considered is CHIT. We care abot ATAMAN and are equally conscious of MANAS OR INTELLECT BUT IGNORE chit which the mediater between ATAMAN and BUDHI OR MIND [NOT IN PYSICAL TERMS]SUGGEST READ blogs.ibibo.com.romeshpatyal if you have time. With regards and best wishes

Calliopia said...

Haha it's so funny reading your always so articulate ravings and rantings and then the supermoronic comment from the spammer or sth. LOL!

I always get Cosmo and GH every month, not so much for the fashion tips which I don't buy 98% of the time anyways. But I like to be in the know on new beauty products and stuff. Not that I use them. In fact, most aren't even available locally most times. But well, it's just nice to know about them. Most times, I just shrug off these beauty tips and gossip writers as ordinary ppl earning their living.

vana said...

Beauty mags chu ka chhiar vak ngilo a, mahse i ziak hi a nih duh hmel. An mags hralh tlak nan thil tam tak hi an ziak a, an fak a, mahse a tak2 hi chu a dang leh daih. Real life a apply theihloh hi a tam mai

mesjay said...

Good rant. I fully agree with you abt the beauty mag. But i hate gossip column as heartily as the other.

Anonymous said...

Hi,

read your post on your search for a stripper i am looking for one as well for a hen's night...please help if u have anyone u heard about..

thanks,
D

blackestred said...

Glammags gives to females a dream which they aspire to achieve, as does Bike and Car magazines to us males..
Its not real, but gives us hope and despair at the same time..

blackestred said...

btw.. been to your blog a coupla times before, and I look forward for more posts..

toy soldier said...

Not that I believe in all the things said, I loovee reading beauty mags and hollywood gossip..:)

N for the clothes, not only that I dnt believe in them, most of my dresses are sent by mom..
My dream job is a fashion designer BUT I believe in my mom's choice more than mine..:D

Jerusha said...

J - thank you! You're absolutely right about them being ppl making a living, my rants maybe *articulate* :P but never justified. I'm just a person with warped perceptions lol

And the 'supermoronic' comment - can you believe that that is actually supposed to entice ppl to visit the website?! Who the hell cares about an ATAMAN..lol

vana - Ni chiah e, real life apply tlak loh hi a tam lutuk a, hun leh mit leh thluak sen ral nan a uihawm ka ti :P Mipa hmeichhe beauty mags lawm zet zet te hi ka hre nual..tenawm lamah a kal!

Jerusha said...

mesjay - haha finally someone after my own vile heart! I was not wholly truthful about the gossip column part to be frank, I thought I sounded like such a moaner I cut it short and lied about my feelings towards those :P

Anonymous - if you see my latest update on that, you'll see our search was quite futile. So no can help I guess sorry! Or you may want to contact Mr. Anonymous commenter from the previous post who said he can do it.

Jerusha said...

blackestred - hey thanks for dropping in! I guess you're right about these mags creating dreams or something to be happy about. And no harm in dreaming, or wanting good things at all. And I know I'm being unreasonably angry about this, but I hate hate it more than anything that all they ever seem to suggest is how to depend on everything and everyone except yourself to have a happy life!

Jerusha said...

toysoldier - If you're wearing stuff that your mom sent, it says one thing about your mom - she must've good taste :) Me, I may have bad tastes in clothes, but sadly, my mum's got worse :P And we're both like this because we don't read beauty/fashion magazines I guess!@

DayDreamBeliever said...

I get really impatient with fashion mags too, so your post was a very welcome insight into the flip side of the glam world, which at the end of the day, is mostly very slick and very aggressive marketing anyways.

Anonymous said...

you make me laugh:-) skimi

Thinchhia said...

Nia

Jerusha said...

Cherrie - hear hear! Finally a comment that's not making me feel guilty about my outburst :P

skimi - I hope in a good way :D

thinchhia - I va inla tawng duh lovel ve a!

Moimoia said...

Nice piece...personally, I'm a dude, but I do read fashion mags (Vogue, GQ), not so much for 'copying' them but more like getting ideas and stuff. But , personally, I agree with you on the part where they think they can decide what's 'IN' or 'OUT'. That's not anyone's job. I think that you can wear an acid pink jeans and still be 'IN'. What's even harder to do than following the crowd is following your own head, and heart.

Beauty Mags put up an image they 'THINK' is perfect. Even the Editors themselves are far from that perfection. So, I don't think they need to be given too much importance. I definately know I don't. Timepass, is all.