If your answer is yes, then you'll probably like these jokes I've been getting from Arcamax. They're hilarious, I laughed till my sides hurt.
Check them out -
Rules for When You Find Yourself in a Horror Movie
- Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out!
- Don't have sex. Especially if you've noticed a few of your friends are missing!
- When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
- If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, don't stand their sighing with relief, GET THE HECK OUT!
- If appliances start operating by themselves, don't check for short circuits; JUST GET OUT!
- Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
- If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
- If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
- Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Arkham (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
- If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had 3/4 of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.
And my absolute favorite -
- If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.