'..So at a hundred and fifty (Centigrade) below, I bet that if you touched an axe, not even with your tongue but just with your finger, you'd never see that finger again, if, of course, you happened to come across such a thing as an axe in outer space.'
The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoevsky
[Just in case anyone's going to outer space, and just in case you happen to come across an axe while there :-)]
Sunday evening, bored out of my wits, also feeling funny and pukey. Decided to check my space on MySpace, hoping for some messages from one of the hot guys on there. Unread messages and comments! Yipee! And the first comment I saw read:
'Shall I shag you now or shall I shag you later?'
And first message opened read:
'wasssuppp?? would you like to be my secret naughty girl?'
'Can I kiss your cleavage?'
Disillusioned by MySpace, I wandered off to Orkut. Now I have this picture of me 'picking my nose' on my profile, and somehow people just seem to love it. I get new people adding me all the time after this picture went up. Just shows how we all love picking our noses :-)
Messages and scraps from Orkut usually come with lots of 'Heyyyyyyyyys,' 'Hhiiiiiiiiiis,' and 'Haiiis.' It pisses the hell out of me. I would NEVER consider being friends with someone who uses any of the above salutations. Period.
I'm not at all active on either MySpace or Orkut. My friends list on both are pretty impressive though, cos' I almost always accept anyone who adds me because I just feel bad about clicking on the 'reject' button. I thought I was being nice but being nice has its downsides.
Especially on Orkut - people who just would not stop scrapping you with stupid poems, asking why you never reply, wanting to know your Yahoo messenger ID and what time you'd be able to 'meet them for a secret rendezvous' online. I would've thought it obvious that if someone don't send a reply, then someone obviously isn't interested. It's stupid badgering someone who isn't interested for a response, there are many things that can be read from silence. Annoying Orkut-ers should learn how to.
Whether it's a picture of me picking my nose or me displaying my fake tattoo, let it also be known that I look much worse in real life than my pictures - if by any chance you should think I look like a 'hot-secret-naughty-girl' type. So stop scrapping me! Especially with those corny lines like 'baby doll how can you forget me...You know I was the first person falling in love with you..'
And then there are your real friends who are your real friends but are undeniably also your real stupid friends. I hate it when someone talks about something personal on a public scrap book. Of course I'm gonna delete your stupid scrap as soon as I see it but how many people might've seen it before I do? Yes, I'm talking about you, you dumbhead from Bangalore. You should be arrested and jailed until you're considered Orkut-safe.
There was this guy who mailed me and said 'Jerusha, please call me, *his number* - important.' Well, I thought he was that friend of my friend who I've been doing some work-related stuff with. So I immediately called him, and I found out the guy was some guy from one of my Orkut communities. I was pissed, tried not to show, said I was kind of busy and tried to hang up, guy said 'please call again..,' didn't say anything but hung up anyway. Immediately wrote a very polite message in response to his email 'Sorry but not looking to make friends or meet new people. Am on Orkut soley to stay in touch with my old friends..blah blah'
Response? 'I understand but what's the harm we can try nah?'
No, we can NOT try.
God, it's so bloody dull around here I want to barf! I wish I had lots of cheap china so I can pass some time smashing them against the wall.
And oh yeah, if anyone's going to outer space, mind letting me tag along? I terribly need the diversion.