12 November 2010

If I Can Dream...

It's such a beautiful day. Can I dream for a while?

Only a few months ago, I had so many travel plans, some big, some small but all of which I had to put on hold because life kept throwing the darndest, most unexpected surprises at me. A few canceled trips later and still more for the future, here I am itching like mad now to get out and go somewhere. I can't even look at my suitcases without a twinge of longing.

I miss the smell of airports. And the feel of airports...Hell I think I can even merrily skip through an hour long security check right now. Or even just jump into a train and go wherever that train is bound for (I wouldn't mind Mongolia:)). To be among a crowd of strangers, not knowing who I could meet, who I might run into, what kind of experience awaits me...

I want to sit on a beach where no one knows me and where I know no one and just be lost in the moment and not have to think about surgeons and dermatologists and oncologists and radiologists and calcium levels and interferon. And to sit in the sun and not worry about what the sun's rays will do to my skin cells.

I want to go hiking, climb up a mountain and stand on top and look at the world from there and cry because I'm so happy to be a part of all of these. Behold all of God's wonderful creations and sing at the top of my voice because it's so beautiful.

I want to jump into the ocean once again without worrying about whether I will sink or float. But if I'm going scuba diving again, sink successfully this time :) Or go skydiving again but with the man I love this time.

I want to spend a night in the forest camping out under the stars with my dog and a few good friends and a guitar. I want to have a little house with yellow curtains with a cobbled pathway with cosmos blooming on the sides. I want to have a pretty little garden and grow my own vegetables and adopt a few more dogs.

There are so many things I want to do! Someday soon...

But right now I can't even go out of town because I have to get admitted back to the hospital on Monday for my radioactive iodine therapy. But thankfully, till then, I have plenty to do. Another cousin coming over for the weekend. Yay! Cousin Biteii will be here and it'll be fun to show her around the city. And having mom and the others back here. They're all getting here tonight so I have to rush home and cook a nice dinner for 6 instead of the usual steamed French beans and a glass of protein drink for 1 :-)

And one of my most favorite people in the world is getting married this weekend. I look forward to wearing my best sarees (...one of which is a brand new Rohit Bal ladies! Woot! - which I could indulge in only because of a canceled Europe trip by the way), do my hair and wear pretty jewelry - even though I feel freaking weird and bloated because of my no-iodine diet. Bloated in a designer saree but who cares!


17 comments:

diary said...

You still sound like you have more fun than me, cancer and all. I have a feeling you're going to overcome your cancers and become one of those motivational speakers/writers :D We may be asking for your autograph in the next ten years. Who knows? Take care and all the best :)

MRalte said...

Lal Bii chu chamtir reng rawh. Ka duh aiin a lo kal har mah mah. I thiante inneih hman a chak vang mai maia lo kal kha a niang e, mas hmantir ngei ngei ang che.

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you, you are so full of life and love inspite ur illness and i know that you will overcome your cancer,ur blog reader, a fan to remain ...

endenchanted said...

nice;)
invite me;d

mesjay said...

Happy dreams, hope they will come true. You do seem to be bitten by the travel bug. Hope you get well enough to be on air/track/road/water again soon. Keep up your cheery spirit.

Mockingbird said...

Get well soon, dear Sundancer.

Anonymous said...

Get well soon, the train, the bus, the air and the carriage is waiting for you to leap. Have a wonderful time. An admirer of yours.

illusionaire said...

Oh shizzzzz Biteii is coming over? Hide the hooch!!! :D

On a serious note, I'm really glad she's gonna keep you company for some time. She's a riot, and will definitely cheer you up again, not that I'm saying you do need to be cheered up. Knowing you, you will take all this with a pinch of salt and look at life the way you always do. Hugs my dear. And continue to keep us updated.

Jerusha said...

Diary - haha I'm just a good dreamer. Not having a lot of fun these past few days I can assure you :)) But about the 10 years from now thing, I hope for my own sake it comes true haha

Ms - A visa diva lutuk a cham reng tir theih pawh ni lo, ka zel tang nen inthlah pawh inthlah mumal theih loh.

Jerusha said...

Anonymous - Thank you. I wish I knew I could say something that would explain better how truly I mean it when I say thank you but I don't know what/how else to say it :)

edenchanted - invited :) And thanks for dropping in on here!

Jerusha said...

Mes - I have been bitten, and I am in a bad way! I can't wait to go somewhere. And it's not just me wanting to, I think I really need it too.

Bird! Long time! Thank you..

Jerusha said...

Anonymous - thank you!! And I adore comments like yours. I hope you're right and that I'll be flying soon :)

Kims - It was a pretty quick trip and a little crazy..nothing went as planned. We spent a lot of time at the hospital and i was in isolation so we mostly spoke through the phone we couldn't even see each other. And she left while I was still in isolation so I didn't even see her off :( But we still managed to do some stuff together so..better than nothing!

keimah said...

@Jerusha, always a delight to read your post. You seem to be still full of life, and I pray for you that all your dreams will surely come true some day. I will continue to pray for you. God bless.

Jerusha said...

Keimah - thank you! If you pray hard enough so that I get my little house with yellow curtains, I'll remember to invite you over for dinner :)

Maisek said...

I like to read your blog! You seem to be full of life in spite of your present condition! Keep on dreaming, they are sure to come true! There are plenty of people whispering prayers for you including me and I know that God is faithful!

Alejendro said...

:-)

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