02 June 2010

This confusion that is my life

Sometimes I read an email, or hear someone talking to me from the other end of a phone line, and ALL I hear are things like 'clicks and impressions,' 'core value propositions,' pitches and clients and proposals and market analyses, I suddenly realise that I AM very much and well and truly in sales!

How did it happen and when, I wonder frantically. But alas, everything about the last 5 years of my life is just a big blur, and I can't recall how I got to where I am now no matter how much I prod these tired grey cells. They remain impassively unresponsive.

Come to think of it, these old guys never seem to fire off those amazing synaptic energy the way they once did anymore. I'll let you in on a little secret - one of my biggest fear now is having to take an IQ test. I know I am incapable of any sentient functions, and therefore, the thought of it horrifies me. And I know my result will mercilessly tell me that I am below average. But hush! I'm still trying to fool people into thinking that I have amazing intellectual prowess. A losing battle but still...Admitting that I fear an IQ test just won't do me any good. No good at all.

You know, I believe it may have been a case of simple mind-control. What did they use? Mind-altering gas, fungus, or arthropods? What? But whatever the technique used was, it left me in a drugged state during which time I was taken and had my entire systemd re-wired and voila! the salesperson was born. But now maybe because the drugs is slowly wearing off, I occasionally wake up and dazedly look for the 'me' I know but she's nowhere in sight.

She was going to be a great Scientist. She was going to study African Mountain Gorillas in the mountains of Rwanda, take up their cause, protect them, fight for them, love them and be loved by them. She was going to be just like Dian Fossey! To put it simply, she was going to live a great and giving life! Whatever happened to her?!

Well, there's no point in looking for fossils in a place where modern technology resides. In any case, there is a blip on my calendar that says I have a meeting to go to. Yes, even though it is 8:30 pm. I'm going to go listen to great sales people talk about global media sales. Wowza! I am bubbling over with excitement. Hurrah for me! Hurrah for all this exhilaration!


Anonymous said...

The job that pays the rent, love it or hate it, you just can't live without it. :P
On bad days, I tell myself that my job does not require me to sweat in the sun, I don't get blisters or physically drained (just mentally) as I reluctantly make my way to the office.
I like IQ tests, it reminds me that I have not yet gone insane and still capable of logical thought.

Jerusha said...

Blake - I know I know..don't bite the hand that feeds and all but..*sigh* life just gets to me sometimes.

I don't remember the last time I took an IQ test. I used to be a pretty good scorer is all I know, and that just makes me afraid to take a new test because I know my last score would laugh at me.

mesjay said...

Hmmm, interesting, you put i out so well. May be at some point you just switched on the successful corporate lady and allowed the romantic one to sleep. May be, at some point, you'll wake her again and do something different. No fear about your IQ, though.

Anonymous said...

Hey.. totally inappropriate.. I know.. but a friend wanted a career with google and was wondering if you could maybe give some insights, links, etc as to where to apply? *You may delete this comment if you wish!

Jerusha said...

mes - thanks for the vote of confidence! :) I am more worried about finding 'her' than losing my IQ to be honest..

Blacke - http://www.google.co.in/intl/en/jobs/

This link is available under the 'About Google' link on the google homepage -> 'Jobs at Google' link under 'Our Company'


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