26 November 2006

Going to Outer Space?

'..So at a hundred and fifty (Centigrade) below, I bet that if you touched an axe, not even with your tongue but just with your finger, you'd never see that finger again, if, of course, you happened to come across such a thing as an axe in outer space.'

The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoevsky

[Just in case anyone's going to outer space, and just in case you happen to come across an axe while there :-)]

Sunday evening, bored out of my wits, also feeling funny and pukey. Decided to check my space on MySpace, hoping for some messages from one of the hot guys on there. Unread messages and comments! Yipee! And the first comment I saw read:
'Shall I shag you now or shall I shag you later?'
And first message opened read:
'wasssuppp?? would you like to be my secret naughty girl?'
Photo comment:
'Can I kiss your cleavage?'
Disillusioned by MySpace, I wandered off to Orkut. Now I have this picture of me 'picking my nose' on my profile, and somehow people just seem to love it. I get new people adding me all the time after this picture went up. Just shows how we all love picking our noses :-)
Messages and scraps from Orkut usually come with lots of 'Heyyyyyyyyys,' 'Hhiiiiiiiiiis,' and 'Haiiis.' It pisses the hell out of me. I would NEVER consider being friends with someone who uses any of the above salutations. Period.
I'm not at all active on either MySpace or Orkut. My friends list on both are pretty impressive though, cos' I almost always accept anyone who adds me because I just feel bad about clicking on the 'reject' button. I thought I was being nice but being nice has its downsides.
Especially on Orkut - people who just would not stop scrapping you with stupid poems, asking why you never reply, wanting to know your Yahoo messenger ID and what time you'd be able to 'meet them for a secret rendezvous' online. I would've thought it obvious that if someone don't send a reply, then someone obviously isn't interested. It's stupid badgering someone who isn't interested for a response, there are many things that can be read from silence. Annoying Orkut-ers should learn how to.
Whether it's a picture of me picking my nose or me displaying my fake tattoo, let it also be known that I look much worse in real life than my pictures - if by any chance you should think I look like a 'hot-secret-naughty-girl' type. So stop scrapping me! Especially with those corny lines like 'baby doll how can you forget me...You know I was the first person falling in love with you..'
And then there are your real friends who are your real friends but are undeniably also your real stupid friends. I hate it when someone talks about something personal on a public scrap book. Of course I'm gonna delete your stupid scrap as soon as I see it but how many people might've seen it before I do? Yes, I'm talking about you, you dumbhead from Bangalore. You should be arrested and jailed until you're considered Orkut-safe.
There was this guy who mailed me and said 'Jerusha, please call me, *his number* - important.' Well, I thought he was that friend of my friend who I've been doing some work-related stuff with. So I immediately called him, and I found out the guy was some guy from one of my Orkut communities. I was pissed, tried not to show, said I was kind of busy and tried to hang up, guy said 'please call again..,' didn't say anything but hung up anyway. Immediately wrote a very polite message in response to his email 'Sorry but not looking to make friends or meet new people. Am on Orkut soley to stay in touch with my old friends..blah blah'
Response? 'I understand but what's the harm we can try nah?'
No, we can NOT try.
God, it's so bloody dull around here I want to barf! I wish I had lots of cheap china so I can pass some time smashing them against the wall.
And oh yeah, if anyone's going to outer space, mind letting me tag along? I terribly need the diversion.

21 November 2006

The Dignified Cow's Turned 1!!

Yay! Happy birthday to Dignified cow. Exactly a year since she came into existence.
I think and I can't for the life of me grasp how 12 months could've gone by so fast without me knowing where those 12 months have gone. What exactly have I been doing for the past 365 days??
Man, I really need to stop my headless chicken impersonations. Gets too dizzy after awhile.
Anyway, it's kind of funny how things change. November last year, all I wanted was to be back in Delhi. I never thought I was the blogging type, but I was so bored I had to find something to do and voila, I gave birth to this little cow. My whole life revolved around the computer, internet down meant me losing my senses and praying all night for the day to come so I can get my next fix.
Now I hardly touch the computer when I'm at home. Now I have the choice of moving back to Delhi. But in the light of certain new developments, I've decided not to.
Seems a little crazy, but all my life I've always been trying to listen to my head and make all the right and practical and logical choices. Now for once I want to do something solely for sentimental reasons. I guess being a sentimental old fool for once won't kill me.
Got free tix for the Harlem Globetrotters match last week...grabbed my cam and rushed there. Had a good time.

Now I'm trying to find my Euphoria concert pictures but seems they've been gobbled up by the ugly green monster that resides somewhere in the deep recesses of my computer. Anyway, not important. It sucked.

I feel bogged down with work. I'm really starting to miss Goa. There are times when I'm seriously considering quitting everything and run off somewhere, do odd jobs here and there and just live - one day at a time. Might be fun. That picture was long overdue. When we were kids, I remember every person who went to Goa would come back with a picture just like this. Standing on the beach, with the ocean behind you. It's almost like a rule. You GOT to take a picture on the beach with the waves behind you! So there, that's me fulfilling my duty as an Indian citizen stuck on a beach. :-)

Old father winter is here and with this nip in the air, I smell Christmas everywhere I turn. There's only one thing I dream of doing this Christmas - no parties, no loud music but just to be at home with my mother, hot cups of tea and coffee in our hands, just talking and spending some time together. This is where I want to be for Christmas - my home in the hills!

...Where the folks are fine
And the world is mine
If I could only see
That familiar sunrise
Through sleepy eyes
How happy I'd be...

20 November 2006

Just cos it's so cute....

He kinds of look like my dad...When he was a baby himself, I'm guessing my father must've looked a lot like this.

16 November 2006

Answering Biteii's Prayer

Unreal, okay, okay, here's the pic you kept begging me for. Enjoy! :)
Now leave me in peace. Stop calling me up 10 times a day crying for one crummy picture!
Now you can save it on your computer, do whatever you want with it - screensaver? or wallpaper your desktop with it? get it printed on your bed sheet so you can take him to bed with you every night maybe? LOL! He's all yours!

Not a family-safe picture. But not really porn either so I guess that makes it okay to post it up here.

14 November 2006

No Kidding!

Blonde Teen: So I'm taking that religion class.
Brunette Teen: Oh yeah? The one where you read the Bible right?
Blonde teen: Yeah that one. And get this, we are about to start reading the Book of Proverbs.
Brunette Teen: Oh My God! I didn't know the Bible had a grammar section.
Blonde Teen: Me neither!!
Brunette Teen: Oh man, I bet it totally tells you how to speak like God... Except properly, you know?
Blonde Teen: [Gasp] I bet it totally does.
Brunette Teen: Ugh! I wish I had taken that class.

Yeah no kidding! Real people talking real crap. Next time I see a 'Dear the Third Worlds...' I'm gonna think of these 'First-Worlders' and thank God I'm not one of them - I'm gonna live and die a proud Third-Worlder :D

12 November 2006

Where Are They Now??

Do you suddenly remember names and 'insignificant' people in the middle of the night? Sometimes I remember names but can't remember the owner, sometimes I remember a face but can't find a name to connect it to. Usually happens when I can't sleep and I lie awake in my bed thinking of different things - family members, work, God, money, men, sex, or sometimes I'd just think about the breakfast I had that day, or the short conversation I had with a girl whose name I don't remember in the ladies room that day and suddenly, a name from nowhere would pop up in my head. I usually spend the next hour trying to figure out the face to whom the name belongs.
So I had one of those moments some nights back. I was lying there, thinking of nothing in particular when out of the blue, out popped the name 'Sarabjit Didi' in my head. She was someone I used to know quite well, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember where I knew her from, or where in India it was that I shared breathing space with her, or what she looked like. Maharashtrian? Was it in Pune? Ahmednagar maybe..? Nah..Punjabi. So Chandigarh? Delhi? I'm almost sure she was someone I knew in Chandigarh. Did we share a PG? If anyone knows Sarabjit didi, lemme know. And tell her Jerusha says hi!

Another name, or rather, nick name that came to me out of the blue was 'Uai-rit-a' which literally means 'heavy-leaner' in English. No problem figuring out who Uai-rita was. He's a guy whose real name I don't even remember. The minute I remembered him, I remembered high school and the dance practices where I learned to dance my Mizo traditional dances. Cheraw was good, Sarlamkai was fun, Chai scared me and my friends because of the likely chance that one of us might get partnered with Uai-rita. If that happened, he'd lean on you, it seemed, with all his weight (and he was a very well-built, muscled guy, and by no means light!) so that by the time the dance was over, you'd be totally pooped, which never happened when you're lucky enough to get a normal partner, which means, any of the other guys but not him. And even during the dance, dancing with his heavy arms slung around my shoulders, he dancing with ease because he's dancing on air, literally...supported by my frail self, I'd be panting and wheezing and praying I don't suddenly pass out on the floor and disrupt the whole dance class and be the butt of all my friends jokes for years. Wow! Something totally fantastic happened, as I was sitting here and typing those very lines about how I used to pant and wheeze, Uai-rita's real name suddenly came to me! Saia! His real name was Saia! That's a pretty common Mizo name but if anyone knows Saia who likes to torture his dance partners by leaning on them with all his torturous weight, well, tell him that I remember him. It's highly unlikely that he remembers me but that's not important. I never was a bad dance partner.

Another name that used to mean a lot to me but which I haven't thought of in years - Sangzuala. I was reading stuffs on misual where there was some discussion going on about a news reporter - Sangzuala Tlau. Everytime I read his name, I felt kind of weird...well, that's not the right way to put it but I felt something funny everytime I saw his name. And then I remembered! The Sangzuala of my girlhood dreams. St. Paul's High School and my never-ending crush on my classmate with the same name. Well, not exactly never-ending but it did seem like a lo-o-o-ng time that everytime I saw him, my knees would turn to jelly and butterflies would flap crazily inside my stomach. Fun days! I was so shy and so awkward around him I wonder now - could he tell? I always thought no one knew, I didn't tell anyone for a whole year but on the start of my 9th standard year, when I thought I was over him because I hadn't seen him during the long Christmas vacation and so hadn't thought of him so much but then realised that I was not on the first day of school when he walked into the classroom and my stomach started doing flip flops again. I swore a friend to secrecy and told her. Thought no one else knew for months. But then one day in school, we were eating lunch when he suddenly walked in and I, responding in my usual 'manner,' immediately dropped my spoon. And one girl laughing said to me 'So he walks in and everything goes hayware eh?' I was livid. The friend I trusted had told somebody else my biggest secret. A secret I'd lived with for a year. I refused to speak to her for quite some time :-) It all seems so silly now. I wonder what he's doing now. The last I heard, he was in medical school. So in all likelihood, my old crush is a doctor now! Cool isn't it? The last time I saw him was several years back. I was in college and I'd gone home for my summer vacation. I was out shopping with a friend, we were going home and were riding on a very crowded bus. It was really packed but as is the norm back home, us being ladies, were offered a seat. I sat down and suddenly saw the hand of the guy standing next to me, holding on to the seat in front of me. Nice hands, and his tattoo! Would you believe even after all those years my heart skipped a beat just seeing that hand with that tattoo! I traced the hand back to its owner and there he was, handsome as ever. I immediately pointed out the hand and its owner to my friend and we resolved to follow them - both hand and owner to wherever they went. Just to get extra glimpses. It was too crowded inside the bus and we couldn't see as well as we wanted to. But there was a lot of shuffling and moving so we couldn't follow him as we were not sure which stop exactly he got off. Hmmmm..wonder if he's married now.
Such a silly thing, feeling all that much for someone and the most important thing was to NEVER let that person know. I was ugly and awkward and gawky...maybe still am but now at least I have the confidence to TRY and do something when I like a guy.
If anyone knows Sangzuala of Mission Veng, tell him Jerusha used to have a major, colossal crush on him, and that she still have that old fountain pen of his that he swapped with hers :-)

06 November 2006

Wear Sunscreen, Rami!

Okay, let's try chasing these nasty Monday blues away by dispensing some second-hand advice. Don't scoff because it's second0-hand. It's easy to listen to, and there seems to be some truth in some of it. There's one lady in particular who I want to make sure reads this. Virgo, cross yourself and start reading! Okay, I'll make it easy and copy paste it, or maybe delete bits and pieces, I think it's going to be too much advice. Anyway, here it is, ladies and gentlemen - Baz Luhrman's 'Sunscreen'!

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh never mind...you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...You're not as fat as you imagine. (I love this part :-)!)

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday. (Shouldn't be too hard to do if you can stay drunk all the time. One never worry when one's drunk)

Do one thing everyday that scares you. (In a way, yes! There are certain aspects of my work that still scares me but still have to do everyday. But I don't think that's the idea here, I think he means scary like ask-that-hot-guy-out-for-a-cup-of-coffee, swim-with-sharks, surf-a-10-foot-wave kind of scary scary..)

Sing (Gladly, every chance I get to be alone)

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. (Ummmm...)

Floss (YES!)

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long, and in the end it's only with yourself. (Not possible!)

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. (I remember compliments, almost as well as I remember insults..)

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. (Love old love letters, don't much like bank account statements. So a hearty YES to both!)

Stretch (All the time. Every cabinet is lofty for vertically challenged girls like me. Reaching for the smallest thing requires a lot of stretching!)

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. (HAHA I so absolutely love this piece of advice. I have NO idea what I want to do with my life. And all these smugs 40 years olds, acting like they've done all the right things. Or is it because I know only dull 40 year olds?

Get plenty of calcium (B-O-R-I-N-G advice!)

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. (I love my kness, I pamper them :P)

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. (I love congratulating myself. And I also get some kind of sick pleasure out of berating myself :()

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. (I try)

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
(All the time. Love dancing as much as I love singing. And the nice thing about dancing's that I can be the only one dancing in a room full of people and I'm okay with that. I'll never sing in front of an audience of more than 2 people.)

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. (80% of the time - Yes)

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. (I know. Let's burn all beauty mags!)

Get to know your parents, you'll never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. (I think I know my mom pretty well, I don't 'know' my dad at all. Still, I guess 1 out of 2 ain't bad.)
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few, you should hold on.(Or try to be the friend your friends would want to hold on to..)

Travel. (Even if second class's all I can afford..)

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. (Don't have a trust fund, don't have a wealthy spouse. So that makes it kind of easy. When that's the only choice you have, you just have to do it whether you like it or not. And you'll end up liking it if you're lucky even if it means hard work. I got lucky :-))

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's 40, it will look 85. (TRULY scary piece of advice! You can come find me when I turn 40 and see if it's true or not.)

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Oww, my eyes are burning! This post came at a very high price so you better take it seriously...or else....

...or I'll tell your mom where the underwear you wore at the Mizo Kut the other night ended up! :D

02 November 2006

The bakery and all the bakers on Halloween

I still got some Goa pictures here that I want to share with y'all. I know you're all probably sick of those. I don't want to make you barf but I'm still going to subject you poor people to more Goa pictures, but here's a breather...pictures of my office and all its happy people celebrating Halloween.

My previous employer's really got something to learn from my current employer. Lesson #1 would be on how chillin' out once in a while sure don't hurt, that jeans and T-shirts are NOT evil! But mostly, I think they need to know that it's important to keep your employees happy, not just plain exploit them.
(...and to think Unreal and my own dear sister are still working there :D!)
Keep us happy and we'll happily offer ourselves up to be exploited out of our own free will :D