I don't know what's wrong with me these days. Been spending most of my days bleary-eyed, red-nosed, blocked-nose with a perpetual crying-induced headache. Never knew it was possible to cry this much, that is, for no clear, fixed reason. I turn the TV on and the only thing the movies seem to do is make me cry. I read and every story makes me cry. Every music I listen to brings on some tears. And it's not like I'm sad or anything.
Okay, movies. Troy. I've seen Troy many times but I still can't get enough of it. Whoever decided to cast Eric Bana as Hector made the bestest, rightest decision ever. Sexiest Trojan ever! Brad Pitt and him battling it out outside the walls of Troy...who would've thought men could look so hot in mini skirts. All those thighs..mmmmm. Mmmmmmmmmm.
Anyway, that part where Priam sneaked into Achilles' tent and begged him to give him back Hector's body - 'I've endured what no man on earth has endured before, I've kissed the hands of the man who killed my son'(..I think) Priam said, shaking with age, and my eyes become blurry. 'I loved my boy from the minute he opened his eyes to the minute you closed them' he said and I'm practically bawling!(Uh...did he say 'minute' or 'moment'?? .... Maybe it's moment, I'm sure Priam didn't count time by minutes). 'Oh! Cruel Achilles! How could I have ever liked Brad Pitt? He killed Hector. Hector of the sexy hair and sexy thighs! Hector with the sexy neck..' And I'd wish it was his cowardly, 'slightly-mannish version of Keira Knightly' brother Orlando Bloom who had died instead. It's movies like this that makes being lazy feel so good.
Anyone seen 'Inside I'm dancing'? Beautiful movie. You should watch it if you want to kick those lacrimal glands into gear. Rory was so cute, made me wonder what it would be like to be in love with someone who's in a wheelchair...
I ran out of books to read in the middle of the week, found a couple of Chicken Soup copies in Mary's room. Finished them off in a night. Cried the whole night, Janis Joplin wailing 'Cryyyyy, crrryyyy bayyybeeeehh' in the background. I think the only thing Chicken Soup's editors want to do is break a record for making people cry the most. Which reminds me of something funny now. It was back in Delhi, we were shopping in Saket, me and my good friend Sailopari, and it was late and we were in a hurry but noticed as we were leaving that the illegally-printed book wallahs were having some sort of sale of old books. The huge 'Pick any 4 for Rs 100/-' sign was irresistible. We both selected 4 each in a few seconds. I heard her say 'Wow! An original Chicken Soup for the Soul, one I've never read!' (She's a CSFTS fan!). 'It looks very old, very authentic' she enthused. Got home, we were sprawled out on the floor, tired and out of steam, all our things scattered around us, including the books. I remember she was lying flat on her back, her head turned sideways, looking at something intently. I asked her what she was looking at, she said 'It's funny, from this angle, that 'Chicken Soup' almost looks like 'Chicken Poop.' Well, on closer inspection, we found out it was indeeed 'Poop' and not 'Soup'. Chicken Poop for the Soul. hehe. She was livid. I loved that book though, it was hilarious! There was this one story about one 'step-mother Teresa' which was a real side-cracker. I'll post it here if I can find the book again.
Coming back to the subject of crying..I found this video on YouTube of a guy and his dog while looking for a Dan Seals song. It's done to the song I was looking for - 'One friend.' If you've ever owned and loved a dog, you know how deep those doggy-loving feelings can get. And everytime I see people so obviously crazy about their pets, and the pets just as crazy about their masters, it touches me. And I found this video touching. It also reminded me of Gus. One day, I'll write more about him.
Another video of my favorite song Mona Lisa Lost Her Smile by David Allen Coe - in my head, I'm the Mona Lisa that lost her smile cos' he 'gave too little and took too much..,' I'm the one that beautiful songs are written for :-), and I'd feel a little blue because I start to believe it a bit when I'm lost in the song and the music and the singer's voice. And tears well up in my eyes, feeling sorry for myself! :D
I think it's the monsoon season that does this to me, makin' me feel a little lonely, a little depressed, very nostalgic, and I start missing everyting and everyone from the past (and sometimes from the future) like mad.
Must be all this rain.