18 May 2009

What Women Really Want

Now that I've blogged enough about my 'baby' sister's marriage, I've had many questions about when I get to do it (as expected). It's difficult because like Macavity says, all the good men are either married, gay, priests, dead, or Vampires.

See, the thing here is, it's easy for some because the kind of things they look for in a man are maybe a bit more realistic and therefore easier to find (and I mean that in a good way). While there are these unfortunate, stupid few who can't shake their dreams of romance and everlasting love and dancing under the stars and are, therefore, doomed to wander longer, if not for their entire lifetimes on earth. What I mean here when I say what women really want are what those unfortunate women want. I'll tell you what those crazy women want because I'm one of them.

On one of my travels, I met this lovely couple from Israel - Anat & Arieh. Anat is actually Italian and so they love and eat a lot of Italian food. Before her mom passed away, Anat's mom gave all her secret recipes to Arieh instead of her own daughter! "Cook for her" she told him, and they're in their late 50s now and Arieh has been faithfully cooking Italian food for Anat ever since. And that's the kind of story I want for myself.

And what else do I and the rest of those unfortunate women want? Not all that complicated really....

- We don't want you to cross oceans for us. We only want you to swim just two miles across a lake for us. Swim across forbidden lakes, defy governments and house arrests to be with us. (Apparently, someone's been reading the news :))

- Fly across the planet because you suddenly realise the world may end anytime and you think it would be sad to never get to be with me before it ended ;) (I'm winking at you Hellboy :))

- And do small, easy things. Like using my name as your password.

- Love my dog. Or my cat. Or my goldfish. Or my parakeet. Or my pet snake. Not for their sake, but because you love me.

- Write me a poem. Or a song. However crappy it may be. Let the grammar and the syntax be all off, but write me one anyway.

- Strengthen my belief in myself and God. All too often I see couples where the women become increasingly neurotic and insecure as the relationship wears on. And all too often, for some reason or the other, God becomes a distant 'third party' in your lives.

- Make me a better person by treating my family and friends like they're better than you.

- Ask me to dance with you in the rain. Wake me up in the middle of the night to dance with you under the stars.

- Run through the water sprinklers with me on a hot summer day without worrying about looking stupid and what people think.

- Go shopping with me, and pretend you don't hate it so much. Even if you do.

- Write me letters sometimes (not emails, real paper letters). Even if we see each other every damn day.

- And still woo me and read me poetry when I am old and gray and full of sleep...

And I can go on and on...as I'm sure all my similar-feathered friends will have their own inexhaustive lists. But hey, none of them are that difficult are they? Nothing about diamonds or fast cars or fancy homes.

Just real love and real men.

(And don't mention reading too many Mills & Boon novels. I've only read one, or two at the most in my life!)


Nags said...

Ooh yes I know what you mean. But you know.. call me cynical.. but these things are not easy. In fact, diamonds and fancy cars are much much easier. For those things, all you need is money. That comes easy (to most of us atleast). But to do even one thing in your list, it requires presence of mind, love, care, effort.. and a sense of romance which is so rare..

Jerusha said...

Exactly Nags, and that's why they are stupid and unfortunate. The smart and fortunate ones just go for the easy things like money, cars, and homes.

Jason said...

I have had this idea for a while and the thought just came back to me - Spouse Procurement Agency. We deal with the specifics. Like what kind of music you want to dance to, which lake do you want him to swim, what food do you want him to cook, and all that. And then we launch a massive search operation to find a custom made piece as per the client requirements. I'm sure generous rewards will come our way!

BTW, yours is not too big a list. Is that all you need? No big deal. What do you want his name to be?

(*very wicked smile follows*)

Jerusha said...

Jason - Ka-ching and there goes all the magic :(

Amitabh said...

success of marriage is not finding the right person It is being the right person

Jerusha said...

Amitabh - I guess, if you're happy being married to youself :P Kidding. You know this is not about finding the "perfect" marriage or the "perfect" man - just the "right" guy with all his imperfections.

mesjay said...

Hmmm, you incurable romantic!A guy may not do all these in your list but it's a pretty good thing if he massages your back that's aching with hours of gruelling houseworks. Or he offers to do the dishes after dinner so you can go back to your Agatha Christie. Specially good if he lulls you to sleep with 'Lotos Eaters' read in the right tone when you suffer from insomnia.

luliana said...

keichu ka tling zo lo, ka tla thum dup dup mai :P

claytonia vices said...

It's a nice simple list without a catch! You need to try hanging out with poets and painters too!

illusionaire said...

Ah thats easy. I'm sure you can find at least one guy for every point that you desire... errr... or you were looking for just ONE guy who will do ALL those at the same time??? wake up and smell the coffee, hon :-)

(but I do come pretty close from your list, right?)

Mos-a said...

I've done most of the things you mentioned above. Except jumping up in the middle of the night and dancing in the rain cuz although that looks very romantic in bollyood movies.. singing and dancing in the rain et al.. you are likely to fall sick and die the next day :P

illusionaire said...

@ Mos: Hmeichhe lerh chuan thlasik leh ruah sur / khaw vawt an hrelo an tih khaaaa :D

OpaHmar said...

"all the good men are either married, gay, priests, dead, or Vampires".....so where does Sandman fall here?

"God becomes a distant 'third party' in your lives"...i find it sad(but not pointing fingers) that many do not work on their relationships. Guess we all believe that like in fairy tales...they get married and "lived happily ever after"...however disney has told us that there is no EVER AFTER...its the beginning and (I thinK) many do not realise this

I think i shud make a checklist of all these....jus in case

illusionaire said...

@ Opa: Hetsss.

But seriously this is a very good topic, and a post that every man should read. Very well written too.

Regarding the relationship, yeah its true many still live in a fairy-tale, but in reality, we have to work on our relationship each and every single day. And working on it is what makes the fairy-tale come true.

I too am taking a print-out of Jeru's list. It will come in handy one fine day. I just don't want that lady I wake up in the middle of a peaceful sleep to start cursing me for disturbing her sleep, that's all... :-)

Jerusha said...

mes - all I can say is you, miss, are one hell of a lucky lady! I envy you. I should've consulted you before I posted this so I could've added those points too. Lucky lucky!! sigh!

lulian - Tla lo eee! Khi list khi a tlem azawng chauh ania, point pawimawh tak pakhat 'Make her laugh' ah I tling sak :P

Clay - if only poets and painters were that easy to come by!

Jerusha said...

Kim - You're not only close, I compiled that list keeping you in mind ;)

Mos - Funny, you seem more like the type who wouldn't have done any except the dancing in the rain part. And I would have no trouble believing you if you said you've danced in the rain many times.

OPa - Sandman falls under two categories - priest and a vampire hehe Don't forget to take a printout of the list, I'd feel at least partly satisfied if some girl have one of the things on the list done to them because they took a printout of my list :PP

Anonymous said...

not because he took a print out of your list he used my name as his password and not telling me. he told me only when i had to sign in in his for some reason. i just felt really good about it at that moment! now i recalled that moment after reading your post. hope u r now fully (not partly) satisfied then :)


illusionaire said...

I used to use my girlfriend's name as my password too. But since we were not supposed to tell anyone our passwords, she never knew about it. So she dumped me.


Dinga Chinzah said...

The list. That's what I would call them. I once heard a man tell me, íts the little things you do that makes you great'. A man to do particularly insignificant things, without which life seems dull. They come by. Sometimes.

OpaHmar said...

And yes, if ur ever frustrated in looking for Mr.Right, remember there are a lot of us(even in this threadlist)who are Mr.Good_enough_for_RIGHT_now

leedyeah said...


zenstar4u said...

Hail Jerusha,
the lady with a dream,
inseach of a man,
who can be like a stream.

Hail jerusha,
the lady with a thought
inseach of a partner,
who is versatile and hot.

Hail jerusha,
the charming queen,
inseach of a man,
who dances for jeusha like a tween.

hail jerusha,
the charming queen,
i am there for u,
to fulfil your dream..

(-0-)... (-o-)

Meanings: be like a stream in stanza 1: get moulded as per requirement- like a stream has many curves to make a path.

a poem dedicated to a sweet lady,
with best wishes from,
"ur dancing star (-o-)"

Anonymous said...

wow! very eye opening, i'm ready to practice all the points you mentioned a hundred times over. only problem is that i don't have any bird in hand.....

please help and enlighten me on how to attract the woman whom i would give what she really wants


Lalrinchhana said...

Hey Jerusha didn't know you were such a romantic?! This one opens a very interesting view on well yes 'love'. It would be nice to be whatever you said for a man to be for his woman. But I feel at the end of it all - if the yourself in you attracts the self of the other that you are attracted to and if that mutual attraction can build to love it's what matters most. Don't want to spoil your 'utopian love dream' though.


Hmeichhia hi chu mipa hnuai deuh chiahah hian awm thiam se tha berin ka hria.:)
Top Ten ReasonsMenAreBetterThanWomen:
1)Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
2 Men are not sponges
3)Women are racists
4)Men live less than women
5)Men write illegibly
6)Jesus was a man
7)Men wear watches
8)Boys destroy things
9)Marriage is stupid
10)Men have penises

source: http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/top-ten/

Joseph L said...

using gf's name as password doesn't work really well, because, your friends are likely to know it and access your a/c. (i've seen it :-) ). real paper letters? that wud be really fantastic... & we need to have 'back to reality' campaign, we need it!! im behind you... hehe

I think i can make it to most of your points u've mentioned above. haha, have done some, will try more. And i do not know what is M&B.

Anonymous said...

pasal tur nge ngaihzawng tur i zawn, sum leh pai tello chuan hlimni a rei thei tak tak lo ania. Lam leh Bazar tihloh thil dangah hi chuan ka tling thei maiin ka inring . . .he he
tak tak chuan maw, thu i ziak thiam hle mai. hla pawh i phuah treuh tawh ka ring.

OpaHmar said...

ka chunga mi hi kan lo chhang ve lawk "sum leh pai tello chuan hlimni a rei thei tak tak lo ania"
The good book says "a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions"
Materialistic world ah kan cheng a, kan sum neihin kan dinhmun a hril, pawisa a pawimawh mahse pawisa-a in teh a pawi thung
Kei aia pawisa nei tlem mahse hlim zawk hi an tam lutuk, chutiang bawkin kei aia hausa tam tak te ai hian ka hlim zawkin life ka enjoy zawk tih ka chiang
After all, the best things in life are free indeed

Jerusha said...

lalrimtuii - Lucky girl! Revel in that and make a mental note to be true and loyal to that man for eternity. Or should it be 'men'? :P Yep, it does give me a good feeling to know that, so thanks for sharing that bit of info :)

Kims - If you do something like that, always make it a point to let it 'slip' accidentally. That's the kind of secret that really shouldn't be kept secret.

Dinga - How true! After all, most of us being regular women don't dream of the 'conquering vast lands' kind of greatness when the smallest thing can make a man great in our eyes. And yes, they do come by. Sometimes. :)

Jerusha said...

OPa - That's one of the hopeful things when it comes to men, that some lucky lady's 'Mr.Good_enough_for_RIGHT_now' can be some even luckier lady's 'Mr.Good_enough_for_all_times' :)

leedyeah - thank you, I think :P

zenstar - how sweet! Thank you!

Jerusha said...

zualbonez - Seeing that you're not scoffing at the list, you don't need any help at all! That 'lucky bird' when you decide who it's going to be is going to be like putty in your hands!

lalrinchhana - I agree. It's sad that we human beings are never open enough to let others have a glimpse of the 'me' in us and I think that's why we often fall for the wrong reasons and there are so many sad endings.

Epis - LOL! That's funny, but to a woman like me, only point 6 is a valid point. Maybe also point 10 :D

Jerusha said...

Joseph - Another comment that revives my hope in men! Any girl would be lucky to get you. If they don't feel lucky, send them to me and I'll put some sense into them hehe M&B - Mills & Boon :)

Anon - I ti lawmawm e. Beidawnna karah pawh mood I ti tha sawng dawng e :) I sawi chu a dik, pawisa a pawimawh. Mahse keima nun ringawt, retheih zual deuh lai leh tleeem a pawisa neih ve deuh lai ka ngaihtuah in, retheih lai hian inhmangaihna lamah pawh kan sang zawk in ka hria a, bakah hlim na teh nan leh phei chuan engmah pawisa hian effect a nei in ka hre lo. Pawisa chu mahse a pawimawh khawp mai, mahse mi 2 thra tak a hna thawk peih tan retheih em em thu awm in ka hriat loh avangin ka rilru ah a tla na vak lo.

OPa- Amen em em!

arie said...

*sigh*.....I once got a letter.It was not exactly how i had imagined in my mind,but it is still one my most prized possessions!!The first time i read it,i wept and laughed at the same time :) :) :)....Now its's torn and frayed,coz i read it countless times.It can still make me smile.That's what counts!!

Lucy said...

In short, a romantic...Questo è bello. Amen Amen...

Do you feel that traditional "nice guys" are too nice.... too boring?

Jerusha said...

arie - I got one too, which I'll treasure forever and when I die I want it to be buried with me. Being an avid letter writer, I receive or at least used to receive tons of letters but none as sweet as the one that person I spoke with everyday anyway sent me *sigh* call me selfish but why can't I have more of those?! I totally get you on the frayed letter girl :)

Lucy - Yeah..to put it in a different way - they're not 'surprising' enough :)

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