Where have all the breasted men gone?

My friend Macavity has so much wisdom crammed inside that little head of hers it never fails to amaze me. In her company, I am often overcome with frequent urges to grab a pen and start jotting it down for posterity, or to grab my laptop and start typing them down for lazy internet users. Of course, it never is really possible, because it is usually during important meetings, heavy work hours, or night-out dinners and drink hours that she would chose to dispense most of her stuff.

But smile, all you lucky chicas, for I have here her most useful wisdom of all - how to spot 'good' men. That which has baffled women since time began has now been explained and solved. We now possess the answer girls, we are now armed. No more shall we be hoodwinked, cheated on, lied to, deceived, ensnared, misled - by bad, bad boys. We will know them, steer clear of them even.

But first, a word of caution before I expose you to her words of wisdom. Her wise thoughts when voiced out loud are often in the guise of simpler thoughts, and one usually needs to get in touch with one's inner voices to understand what might seem to a fool, nonsensical ramblings...

"Macavity: ah but what is a chest? and what are breasts? nothing...nothing! A chest is a heart container, breasts are decorative pieces for the container. The heart deserves much to be decorated, but cannot alas be docorated. So even if we cannot gaze at and appreciate the heart, we may at least do so to the container. Appreciate the breasts.

The creator has given some breasts and some he hasn't, and if you'd notice - it is always the breasted ones that have true heart. Men with big breasts are the nobler ones - the bigger the breast, the nobler the heart. How to find good men is as easy as reading chests."

At this point in the discourse, she sent me this picture -

" Macavity: ah, look at that jerusha. Does he not appear dim witted unto you? Lacking in the head. Sexy nevertheless. But definitely not lacking in the body. And anyone, I believe, would rather hold a body than a head. I'm not sure I want to hold a head at all..."

A pause in the discourse, and yet another picture -

"Macavity: Would you hold that body, Jerusha? His chest protrudes not, that i can confess to with much certainty. That one has neither body, head nor chest. But the cop measuring this man

has quite a body. Well comparitively, but still no chest. Might you be willing to hold him?

I would not hold that body. At the same time, I would also like to add that I would not like to hold his head either. Not breasted enough. I tell you again, look for the breasted ones. Therein lies the secret to your emotional and sexual happiness."

:-)

So there we have it, how to spot a good man when he's around. So walk towards the breasted ones. That, according to the Wise One, is the only way to true and eternal earthly bliss.

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