Let's Ramble

Do you think the stuffs that we were taught in school were relevant? Looking back now, I think we were taught more crap than stuffs that makes sense.

You ever have those cursive writing lessons way, wayyyy back in school, around standard 1/2? I remember I used to hate those so much back then, but I will admit that I write beautifully on paper, I mean the handwriting, not the content :P, and I think it's all thanks to those cursive writing exercises. At least not all the things they forced us to do turned out to be completely useless.

Did you ever get slapped around in school? Caned? I remember being hit flat on the face a couple of times, and I was even pretty proud to walk around with red, hand-shaped welts on my cheeks, laughing about it. Girls usually cried. I cried only once, not because I was scared, or the beating hurt, or I was embarrassed. I cried out of extreme hatred for the teacher. Extreme hatred. At such a young age. It makes me wince now to imagine hating anyone that way. I no longer have the passion to hate/dislike someone that intensely.

He pulled my hair and he pinched my ears, he slapped me with the back of his cold, clammy hands on my cheeks a bit, and it wasn't even painful, his beating didn't really hurt, but I looked at him, his oily hair, hair sticking out of his ears, his barely-understandable English derisively asking me questions he didn't want me to answer, and it angered me so much tears came to my eyes. And the tears angered me so much more came and so on and so forth. That was when I was in Class III.

I went to a school that believed very strongly in corporal punishment. It was a regular thing to hear sounds of flesh against flesh, wood against flesh, foreheads against blackboards, wooden rulers breaking on small hands. I was always a good student, I mean, I did my homeworks, passed all my tests and exams, always tried to be #1 etcetera etcetera. But I just couldn't stop yapping. Which was not too bad, but my refusal to yap in English always ended in me bending over a table and getting my butt whacked.

I watch these videos on youtube about 'violent' student-beating teachers, and everyone seems to think it's a colossal matter and I only ho-hum. Seen too many more violent teachers.

I remember getting caned so badly one time I couldn't sit. I had big, nasty, purple bruises on my butt, and I showed them to my mom and she had tears in her eyes and told me she's not letting me go back to the school. I've never been slapped or physically beaten ever since. I moved school the next year.

I'm now actually pretty close to one of my old teachers who used to beat me the hardest, go out for dinner and all that. Am I just stupid or am I just an extremely good human being?? LOL! I think I'm just thick.

But one thing I wonder about, now that I'm all grown up, and has had the experience of teaching in school a couple of summers, all I wonder about is how they could've possibly done that to little 9-13 year old kids? I taught Science to high school kids, and even to the students that irritated me most, physical beating was not something I would ever consider. And they're high school kids. And some of them were older than regular high school kids with kids of their own. But you're their teacher and they look up to you and they're your students, your kids, your responsibilities, and you just love them.

I wonder sometimes did we have monsters for teachers? How could they do that?? Maybe someone like me who always broke the rules needed a little beating, but there were some who were such angelic kids you wouldn't even think of speaking to them harshly, not to mention raising your hands on them. But they all got beaten too.

Anyway, I don't know how I got onto this subject. I was just gonna....ramble.

I think I'm in love. Or pretty close to it. Or not even close at all. Just obsessed. Well, just a little crazy at the moment. I don't know. I'm sick of trying to figure things out. Not just about love. Things in general. I am going to take things as they come. One day at a time.