Why I Hate Being Single

I just have to write this. Last straw. Enough’s enough. Work will be pushed aside for an hour or so while I rant and rave.

First point to note: I don’t. That is, when people keep their mouths shut or when I can close my ears to the mean supposed-to-be-funny but nowhere even close and 'not even really meant to be funny anyway in the first place' comments from wide-trapped people.

If there's anything I hate about it, it's smartass comments about singledom.

As I've admitted before, I have nothing against men. I like them, they smell good and they have nice arms and hands. It feels good to have one around. It is good to be held and kissed. It is good to know that there's someone who's gonna take you to the movies and hold your hand over the dinner table. It's especially good when that person holding your hand is someone you like so much that it doesn't matter what's on your plate. He has the power to turn every food into ambrosia. It's good to have someone for all that. But that is not everything in life.

Sometimes you’ll fall in love, relationships go bad, and sometimes you’ll be single and sometimes not. It’s not a necessity to constantly have someone just for the sake of not being single, to have someone to prove to other people that you’re wanted. I guess when I grow older and I get lonely and needy, I might possibly get that way. But not now. I’m not that lonely or needy just yet.

What is it about being single that is so revolting that that fact alone should automatically render you as ‘hopeless’ in other people’s eyes. Why am I ‘hopeless’ just because I don’t have a boyfriend currently? I'm pretty good with some things. Hey, I just got a promotion, my second one in two years! Doesn't that count for something? No? I'm still hopeless because I don't have a boyfriend right? NO! Not right. I give a rat's ass. And I will have a boyfriend when someone right comes along again. I won’t have one just because you think I’m hopeless because I’m without one.

Whether, why, why not, when, who, and how and why we chose to date/marry is a personal, private issue, and in the same way that the inadequate size of your private parts is a private matter and I don’t and won’t joke about it, I would be very happy if you stop asking me why I am not married, tell me that my boyfriend (er..'ex-boyfriend) looks like he should be my dad, or that I am a ‘helpless’ single female.

I certainly don’t see myself as helpless – in any way.

Forget single women. It takes courage to be single :D. What about people who can never seem to be happy on their own? To complete their image, to complete their incomplete selves, they will constantly be hanging on the arms of other people, and one lover gone means find another one fast before your lungs burst because you can't breathe on your own. It’s pathetic that how pretty your girlfriend is should determine how confident you’re going to be around people. But is it because you can’t help it since you have none of your own?

And people who make rude jokes about poor little lost helpless girls should also know that yes, it is possible that we don’t have the same priorities as you do. At this point in my life, I’d be happier with a year or two of being single and a couple of juicy projects awarded to me at work. Maybe that way I’ll work out a promotion or two while you go work out several dozen girlfriends. And wouldn’t it be nice if we can just say ‘To each his own’ and leave out our biting remarks about each other.

Some people’s only saving grace is the pretty boy/girl they’re with. I guess it’d be understandable for those kinds to always need to have a pretty someone around.

But I'm shamelessly proud. And I believe I'm complete on my own. I don't need anyone to complete my image. I don't think I need a pretty boy to boost a low self-confidence or morale.

…And Why I Like Being Single:

I had many insecurities growing up. And as much as the prospect of facing the world on my own excited me, it scared me. It’s so good to know that I was scared for nothing. Now that I’ve finally outgrown my insecurity, life has never been easier.

I can eat in any restaurant in town and not worry about my boyfriend's wallet.

If I like/want something, I can buy it without having to consult anyone first. Of course, it also helps when one doesn’t have exorbitant tastes:-).

It’s good to be able to sit and plan my own vacation and not have to ask anyone for funds. Also, single rooms are cheaper.

It’s good to be able to walk into a place and be remembered. Funnily, when I go with a date, I’m not as well-remembered. Only when I'm my single, charming self! :P

You can get away with not shaving if you're feeling lazy.

You can go to bed wearing unpretty but verree comfortable underwear.

It’s good to walk into a room and see a cute guy and know that it's possible that he may end up with you or your number or your cold.

If you swear by TLC and you can't live without the attention, be assured that being single doesn't mean you're not going to get any!

So you see, my friends, all in all, it’s not a terribly bad thing to be single. You won't die because of it. Sure, it’s not for everyone. But it is good for people like me.

I like the word ‘Independent.’ I love what it stands for. I like the way it sounds, the way it feels on my tongue. And it doesn't mean I want to be single forever, but being independent means I can chose who, how, when and where. And I understand full well that this is not a lasting phase. I won’t love it this way forever. But I want to enjoy it while I do.

So spare me the drama. I don't see any great tragedy happening yet.