My Cup Runneth Over...

Goodbye Corporate Laptop

2011-12-16T10:15:00.003+05:30

Why do I get so sentimental about unfeeling, lifeless objects?! I'm finally parting ways with my constant companion of the last few years, my laptop which unfortunately belongs to the company I am leaving. I don't have much to write, I really just wanted to make this one last blog with my old friend.

It's strange how you can harbor such affectionate feelings for inanimate objects such as laptops...and pens...and old Tshirts but... *sigh* 'tis so - my heart wrenches at the thought of us parting ways forever. She will go on to sit on other loving laps, and I, I have already bought a new one, the first laptop I've bought in my life. It's shiny and pretty and new and I will grow to love it eventually but I will still miss my clunky old ThinkPad for a long time to come.

So sleep your sleep, old girl
Our love will keep, old girl
'Til then...
Goodbye, old girl,
My old girl...

:D

For the Kims

2011-12-01T12:33:00.000+05:30

Notes from the Katz Motel

2011-11-25T02:05:00.004+05:30

Tonight I am going to give my poor, ignored blog some good loving and warm it up with a few scrambled words and pictures. This is going to be a very random post....

The year is almost over. It scares me, that time goes by so fast, and that I have achieved nothing, done nothing significant at all. I've been lazy, no excuse. But mostly I've just been tired. And after all, a year is only 365 days. Doesn't seem very long when you count it in days.

I've traveled quite a bit, and for that I can give myself a good pat. My one unwavering goal in life has always been to travel as much as possible. I had to exercise some self-control and turn my eyes away from the sinful call of pretty shoes in order to finance my trips.

I've been to Delhi several times this year and I finally got a chance to go to Yashwant place after I don't know how many years for their amazing (and super cheap) pork momos on one of those trips.

This place holds a lot of memories for me. This is the place where I took my roommates at the time - Franky, Ben, Jeffrey & TM-a for a celebratory dinner when I got my first job with IBM Daksh.

And there was that one time I saw Titanic at the neaby Chanakya theatre with some friends, and most importantly, a crush who sat right next to me. But apparently, the close proximity of this especial person was not enough to stifle the sniffles, which was soon followed by all out wailing and honking of the nose. He awkwardly bid me adieu after the movie, he who was chatting so amicably with me before the movie. I then headed off to this place to drown my shame and embarrassment in pork momos with my friends.

My last trip to Delhi was for the Metallia concert where I almost got trampled to death. The place was full of wannabe rockers. The type that try to make up for their lack of badass-ness with musical instruments or admirable vocal chords with black clothing and dirty hair. And they came out in droves at the concert, men and women alike, who probably know a song or two of Metallica's (most likely 'Nothing else matters') and proclaim themselves die-hard Metallica fans :P

Here is Zorin at 3:30 pm. She was walking funny because she claimed her shoes became a couple of sizes bigger after our stampede struggle.

Zorin's bathroom literature :)

And I found some unknown fruit so I bought some and took a picture. The orange one. And it tasted BAD. Anyone know what they are called?

Laphetauh (?) - and I got to do a Laphetauh night. This was nostalgic for me. The many nights of eating these things and drinking tea with your friends in Mizoram, and every night you laugh so hard your stomach hurts and you never ever feel like going to bed. Laphetauh is a symbol of good times for me.

I'm not all self-complimentary. I am very deeply disappointed in myself that I didn't learn a new language like I promised myself I would. I promise by the end of next year, I will be speaking Spanish like a native speaker. I will write a blog post in Spanish by this time next year.

The hospital has become a constant in my life. I'm always there for one thing or the other, a test, a checkup, more tests. But I won't complain about this because these tests brought us good news after all. I did get admitted last month for about a week, for dengue this time. I actually thought I was going to die one night when I didn't have enough strength to walk to the kitchen. Funny how you can have cancer and be so calm and then a mosquito comes and bites you and gives you some viral fever and you think 'OMG I AM GOING TO DIE!!!'

My mom is convinced I got it from my Himalayan trip, she was quite freaked out (my family freaks out over everything now - a little cough will give them sleepless nights) and has banned me from cleaning any cobweb in my room :) My room has become like the Katz Motel, and I the evil Katz.

Funny. I was going to write about hair, that was the only thing on my mind when I opened my laptop. I don't know why I wrote all this. Anyway, hair next time!

Mizo thlai/thingkung/hnim etc leh an sap hming - Part 3

2011-10-18T23:50:00.008+05:30

Official vak lo a Part-1 leh Part -2 a awm tawh bawk a, hei a part - 3 na atan ti leh teh ang. Hriat thar leh thar loh te, a hma post a la tel lo te hi share zel phawt ang.

Mahse a hmasa in request - helai a thil dah hi a duh duh in engmah sawi lovin emaw a source cite lovin inlak sak hi ching lo hram ila. Mi in hun pe a kan ziah leh (a ho a ho in) hun seng a kan inchhiar chhuah te a ni ve a, ngawi reng a an lo la a, anmahni kutchhuak ang a an treat hi chuan rilru a na ve duh deuh ania. Hmanni ah Facebook group pakhat ah Mizo pangpar te leh an sap hming ka ziahna ami kha an lo dah teuh mai a, hman kumah khan Evening Post ho in ka post pakhat mipakhat ziah ang hmakin (a ziaktu hmingah Zaia/Siama tih vel in an dah hmeks) an lo chhuah tawh bawk a. Ka blog content hi a nep a nepin ka copyright ve thlap ania :-)

Tawk e copyright lam chu. Tunah a tui ber atangin ilo tan nghal ang:

Zawngtah: Bitter bean, stink bean etc (Parkia speciosa)

Zawngtah awm a hun leh tan dawn, keipawh ka Krismas rawn haw in ka rawn nang ngei dawn bawk a. S.E Asian lam zawngtah mu recipe te han try ka chak khawp mai. Mahse bekang leh hmarcha hmui nen tluk a tui a awm theih ka ring lem lo.

(Pic source)

Chakawk: Fernbrake, bracken fiddleheads (Pteridium aquilinum)

Chakawk hi tui ka ti in englai pawhin ka ei peih thin. Mahse a saphming kan hriat hnu ah kan chhiar chiang a, ramsa thenkhat ah a 'carcinogenic' (cancer thlen thei) a, Japan ram a stomach cancer tam chhan ah pawh factor lian tham ah an dah tih an ziak ka hmu a thin a ti thawng. Vairam lamah hi chuan chakawk ei na chance a awm lo hlauh a, mahse Zoram lam chhungte ka han phone nghal, chakawk lo ei tawh lo tur a chah turin. Chhiar tu te pawh ka chah nghal vek bawk che u e :)

(Pic source)

Mitthi sunhlu: Carry Me Seed (Phyllanthus amarus)

Heng hi kan naupan lai chuan mitthi sunhlu kan ti thin. A hming dik tak a ni em ka hre lo. Lung a tih len reuh em vangin ka rawn telh ve mai ani e.

(Pic source)

Sehnap, Lakher Anthur: Bush sorrel (Hibiscus surattensis)

Hei pawh ka lung a tileng. Kan tet lai chuan D.C Workshop, Chaltlang thlang ah khuan mi huan te a awm a, kan lo ru nasa thei lutuk. Jam te kan siam a, a chang leh a tui chi nen al thur tek tawkin kan siam bawk a. A tui theih dan kha awww!
(Pic source)

Khuangthli: Bishop Wood (Bischofia javanica)

A lem tha tak ka zawng hmu thei lo, hei a thingkung naute thlalak :)

(Picture source)

Chabet: Beggar-tick (Bidens family ami, eng species ber nge ka chiang lo)
(Picture source)

Tualvungi em: Fluted bird's nest (Cyathus striatus)

(Pic source)

Anhling: Black nightshade (Solanum americanum, Solanum nigrum, leh Solanum ptychanthum ah hian a eng ber hi nge keini Mizoram lam in kan ei hi ka hre hrang thei lo).
(Pic source)

At hlo: Angel's trumpet (Brugmansia)

Heng pangpar hi naupang te kan nih lai tang tawh khan, a at theih an tih avangin ka hlau deuh titih thin khawp mai a. Ka len hnu ah khang te kha thu ho mai mai aniang ka ti leh a, mahse kan chhiar chiang a, a lo poisonous hle tak tak.

(Pic source)

Kelbean: Broadleaf plantain (Plantago major)

Kan naupan laiin kan inkhualtelem na ah heng hi vaimim kan ti thin. In ti ve ngai em?

(Pic source)

Behliang: Pigeon Pea (Cajanas cajan)

Behliang hi chu a chhung ah pangang awm a ching em avang in, tui ti hle mah ila khat tawk chauhin ka ei risk ngam.
(Pic source)

Chuan a tlip nan -

Maitamtawk: Bristly balsam-pear, spine gourd etc (Momordica balsamina)

Maitamtawk hi tui ka tih theih tehreng nen ka ei tui thei ta reng reng lo mai. Vairam maitamtawk hi Mizoram lam aiin a tui lo bik nge pawh ka hre lo. Te reuh te hring tha deuh si te hi a lo chang fer zel.

(Pic source)

Ti zawng kha ni mai rawh se, ka lawm e. Zan a tlai tawh e mai, a bang zawngin part 4 ah rawn chhunzawm tawh mai rawh se.

Valley of Flowers & Mana trek

2011-10-07T12:13:00.003+05:30

A little late but here it is anyway - I've been dying to share some pictures from my Himalayan trek. Too lazy to go into details but I'll just say this - it was one hell of a mad wicked trek and I've never felt so proud of myself before. Ever.

Altogether, we did a total of..let's see..close to 40 Kms, mostly steep uphill climb through craggy paths. And don't forget the relatively less oxygen in that high altitude! Not bad for a bunch of city dwellers whose sloppy lives only involves sitting in front of the computer all day every day.

We (me + 2 friends) took the overnight bus from Hyderabad to Delhi, reached Del in the morning. We met up with another friend, then hired a car to take us to Rishikesh. This took us around 6 hours, and we spent the night dining on our last non-veg meal for the trip and chasing fireflies.

We left Rishikesh at around 5 am, another hired another car to take us to Govindghat. This was a long ride and took the entire day despite us having a suicidal speeding driver who was a little wonky in the head. There were some moments I was sure he was going to plunge into a gorge with us with him gleefully pumping his fist at the world.

There are certain memorable things about this ride - the beautiful scenery, and the roads...the roads!!! (GAH!!)

The roads were interspersed with little brooks and 'falling rock zones' and 'mud slide zones.' We were stuck in the middle of nowhere for over an hour because of a major landslide that had blocked the road, and several minor ones along the way to add more color to the trip.

There were some areas that actually had rocks crashing down on the road as we were passing through and there's nothing you can do as you zig zag through except pray that nothing too big falls and whatever falls doesn't fall on you. Scary!
We reached Govindghat in the evening. It was cold here, which was a relief after Delhi which was its usual charmlessly hot self, and Rishikesh too which was disappointingly stuffy and humid.

Govindghat is at an altitude of 6000 feet and is the last motorable point on our journey. It's quite pretty, surrounded by very TALL mountain ranges on all sides and with a big river running right through it. From here on we would have to continue on foot.

We checked ourselves into a hotel, stayed up late telling each other ghost stories and again got up very early so we could make an early start.

First picture of the day - the trek begins.

It was a 13 Km trek to Ghangharia. We covered the first few kilometres pretty fast and without too much trouble. Here we are posing after we finished our 5th kilometre, feeling pretty good about ourselves.

Little did we know that we had only covered the first few easier part and that the rest of it was going to be absolutely grueling.

The sun went down on us, trapping us in a freezing forested area full of langurs (I'm terrified of monkeys, but I feel slightly better about these langurs. I have a feeling they're smarter than the regular monkeys).
We stumbled into Ghangharia in the night. I think that was the most exhausted I've ever been in my entire life.

Ghangharia is at 10003.280 feet. It's only open for half the year, and for the other half it is apparently covered by 8 feet of snow.
This is where we stayed. The entire village runs on a generator and all lights go out at 10pm. You have to make sure you're in bed by 10 no matter what.

We had a little supernatural experience here. Will write about it some other time if I ever feel like it.

Okay, this is going to take forever so let's just post some pictures.

Here is the actual valley. This is at 10,500 - 21,900 feet above sea level.

After doing the valley, we decided to hire another car to take us to Badrinath because we wanted to see Mana, the last Indian village. Mana has no hotels so we had to stay at Badrinath and trek to Mana from there.

We bribed some locals to take us across the river with this condemned trolley.

Bonus pics:

I was thrilled to find these pomelos on tyhe way to Rishikesh.
Cabbage patch in Mana.
The famous Edelweiss. I promised before we left for the trip that if I found an Edelweiss, I will sing the song. This is the first time I'd seen an Edelweiss, so I wasn't too unhappy abut having to wheeze out the song up there in the mountains.
After all this great physical feat, I came back and then fell seriously sick with dengue fever and spent several days in the hospital instead. But now I'm out and happy and well and planning another trek.

Sad songs say so much

2011-08-01T16:43:00.003+05:30

Why won't today end? It's been at least 24 hours since I woke up this morning. I've done 2 days worth of work. Yet the clock still says it's only 4:44 pm. Why are some days so bad and ugly and just unbearable?

And the way this entire day's been, the overcast skies, the slight breeze, the gloominess of it all can only make me think of one song -

If you're still within the sound of my voice,

I just want you to know you were always my only choice

That it always made me rejoice just to have you so near...

Pretty depressing but beautiful nonetheless.

What would you do with a billion dollars?

2011-07-18T22:39:00.009+05:30

"What would you do if you found a treasure worth billions of dollars?" "What is the first thing you would buy if someone suddenly came and gave you a hundred billion dollars?" Do you and your friends ever ask each other those questions?

Me and my friends do that a lot. We'd sit and dream of a millionaire, billionaire, zillionaire life - starting with how we'd get the money - lottery, anonymous donor, long lost filthy rich relative type person, saving a filthy rich type person's life who would then bestow us with some parts of his fortune in gratitude (or in its entirety after he's dead because this is an old man and he doesn't want to give it to his kids because they're all either dead or dead rotten and doesn't love this dear old old man). I usually see myself saving this man from a gang of thugs trying to rob him.

I don't know how this last part will work in reality though. First of all, I don't know any filthy rich type person who routinely puts himself in jeopardy so I might get the chance to save his life. And even if I do meet an old man that meets both criteria, just between you and me, I am doubtful about my ability to ward off his attackers :/

Anyway, what was I saying...oh yeah..me and friends and our dreams of becoming rich. Despite the endless dreaming, none of us would ever be able to clearly come up with anything they want to do with the money besides some talk of designer shoes and walk-in closets. I guess it's just too overwhelming even hypothetically for us to contemplate. Orpi always says she'll just go buy an ice-cream and think about what she wants to do with the change over a big sundae.

After cancer though, I know now exactly what I would want to do with the money (other than taking my entire family for a round the world trip).

I will buy a PET-CT scan machine. Personally a machine I loathe and hate and whose very sight feels me with dread and dismay and even some amount of terror, but despite all its unpleasantness, something that the state with the highest cancer rate in the country shouldn't be without.

And also something I'm lucky enough to have easy access to because I don't live in Mizoram, but back there, it's all very different.

And I want it for Mizoram because we need it. Not to scare anyone, but I think we Mizos have something defective in our genes that makes us more susceptible to cancer. I know lifestyle, diet etc and all that come into play too but I really believe we do have some weak genes. I guess you can't just get only awesomeness genes :)

After I found out about my melanoma and thyroid cancer, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer less than a month later, and since then, I can count on several fingers the amount of people who have been diagnosed (and even died, some in the space of a couple of months from detection).

One of these newly diagnosed is an 8 year old kid I met once in a village a year or two back, playing outside his threadbare house. (Just imagine the coincidence - two 'healthy at the time' strangers just talking while inside both our bodies, nasty cancer cells were already probably plotting their evil plans for us! And both getting diagnosed within a few months to each other).

I met him only once but we had a common interest in dogs so we chatted for a bit about his new puppy. I want that puppy to grow up together with his master and live a long healthy life together. I want this 12 year old girl I heard about who lost a leg because of bone cancer to grow up to be a healthy woman and wear pretty heels on both feet.

I especially want mothers, like my own mom, to live and beat cancer. Because without them, their children's lives would not make sense. Because if mothers die, their children die with them in a way. In that one life gone, several perish along with it.

And for these to happen, we need early detection. In Mizoram, a lot of cancer cases are detected too late. Maybe that girl could have avoided having to have her legs amputated if they'd found out about it sooner. The 8 year old will have a better chance of living that life with his dog if his cancer is at an early stage. I believe there were many people that would still be alive today if their cancers had been detected earlier. So early diagnosis and treatment is one of the main things we need to focus on. And that's where the Frankenstein machine will help.

There will be lots of work to do but just having this machine will be a big step for us I think. A lot of poor people who can't afford to travel for much-needed tests will be able to easily get them at home. It will help our doctors do a better job. But mostly I want it for the poor people. Like the little boy. Dealing with cancer is terrible enough, to have to deal with the staggering costs involved sucks in a major way.

Apparently the PET-CT machine costs around 2.6 to 4 million USD. Which means I would have plenty of money left. I will build a cancer hospital, hire the best oncologists in the country, equip it with fancy labs, and then work out how in the world we'll be able to make it all work for poor people and keep it running :)

It costs around Rs 25000 - Rs 30000 per scan where I get mine done (Apollo). It's pretty expensive but luckily for me, this is one thing my insurance company pays for without any hassle. But it doesn't matter in any case because for the duration of this post, I am the opposite of poor. I am a multi-billionaire :)

Now how do we get this machine, and make it available for everyone and not have to charge that kind of amount for whoever can't afford it?

Old Letters

2011-07-08T19:29:00.006+05:30

I'm in the middle of heavy duty packing (moving to a new flat) but I have to quickly post this one before I stash it away again. Unearthed old treasures, and by that I mean of course old hand-written letters, way before the internet came along and ruined everything!

This lovely letter is around 5+ years old I think (forget what I said about the internet :P.) I used to be the big boss of all the neighborhood kids back home. So naturally when their big boss who teaches them inappropriate songs and make them eat parents-banned products went away, they wrote me relentlessly. I was missed! :)

This one is from a kid called Peka, the then 6 year old son of one of our neighbors.

hi,

Aumami

how are you?

My name is Vanlalpeka

I am six years old

I am class-I

I go to school at ar-ellschool

I bring to you Nihawichi

My favorite fruite is Grape.

Purple

From Peka

Good by Dragon-ball Zee

(I used to promise them riches and wealth if they wrote me in English, this is one of Peka's attempt to ensure I return home with a Spiderman figure for him. And apparently he'd sent me some sunflower seeds along with the letter.)

Doesn't that warm your heart! I have more, funny ones where they tell me about their cats, or their neighbor's cats, or the dog that lives down the street. I'll share those too if I can find them.

(And my packing is going nowhere! Too many old letters to read...)

Cupcakes Vs. Male Strippers/Nepali Sex/Call Girls

2011-07-05T22:43:00.004+05:30

Wow! Someone out there is crayyzayyyy for Nepali sex!

I'm just writing down this quick post because I am so AMAZED by the amount of people searching for Nepali sex on the internet. I mean I can totally understand a more mainstream search like Asian/Latina/or whatever porn but Nepali? That's like searching for 'toilet habits of the Olmec civilization' or 'how to tickle a hammerhead.' So niched, I wouldn't expect a lot of people outside of India to even be aware of the presence of Nepalis. But they are, and how keenly too!

And how do I know this? Because my blog stats show me tons of leads coming in from people searching for Nepali sex every single day. All related to my Nepali sex post (by the way you shouldn't click on the link if you're looking for real Nepali porn).

There are people searching for 'Nepali sex' every single day from every continent! Well, not exactly. I just love my hyperboles :D To be truthful, Antartica doesn't seem to give a damn. But perhaps only because the penguins there haven't yet figured out that fishing isn't the only way to waste one's time.

Now in the context of this post, if we were to say what the opposite of Antartica is, it would be the Middle East. Saudi Arabia to be more precise. And this is not one person. The searches are coming in from different regions of SA. And we also see some homegrown searches there too from Kathmandu.

I haven't checked but I'm guessing the thumbnail from my blog is still on that porn site. What mystifies me is how it got there. Did a human reviewer scan the site and decide that the guys in the picture look Nepali? But I find it unlikely. Was it a bot that has been taught how to recognise Nepali features? I'm mystified.

And another trend that is forever on the rise is male strippers - people looking for male strippers as well as male strippers looking for a client. Do you know I still get offers from unattractive sounding men? (Is it too much to ask if I want my strippers to have a stripper body AND is not a virtual stranger to punctuations and capital letters?). And these offers despite that blog post now being under layers and dusty layers of other clothed posts.

Closely following these is the eternal hunt for the 'sexy call girl blog.' Who is this call girl blogger? I'm almost tempted to do a search to find this mysterious person but I have packing to do so will leave this for later.

So anyway, I'm a little sad that most visitors to my blog are really just looking for Nepali sex and male strippers and call girls when all I'd really love is for them to read about how I baked a cupcake for the first time. Baking can be really exciting too..just not sexually but it's exciting in all other manners of exciting you know :) Or how thrilling it is to eat raw pork uterus.

Well such is life! I wish all you ardent seekers of Nepali sex and other such things the best in your endeavours. And I again sincerely apologise for the false leads. May your search lead you to the right destination. Eventually.

Hugged by the Best

2011-06-29T17:38:00.005+05:30

Someone had the best dream about me last night. And how she saw me, in her own words -

"You were being hugged by everyone around...then a white person in a robe, I couldn't see his face, with long hair - came and hugged you - and you had a beautiful smile..."

My first response was "That must be Jesus!"

She said she woke up with goosebumps. She hesitated about telling me about the dream because she was afraid it would make her seem like a crazy stalker type person :) But I'm so glad she did because this one dream has just lifted by blues away in one single stroke.

It's so weird. Especially because the dreamer (who is one of the nicest people ever) and I hardly have any contact with each other. She and I used to work in the same team but that was a long time ago, she's left the company since. She was not someone I hung out with or know very well unfortunately. But we occasionally say our hellos on Facebook, even met each other once some months back. And that's about the extent of our relationship. Also, she is not Christian.

So it's just amazing that she had this dream. And I am so glad she did because I now feel like I was really hugged by Jesus last night.

Beautiful ending to a shitty day!

Choose Your destiny, Flawless Victory

2011-06-22T00:46:00.006+05:30

I really want to write about some people and their usernames on Facebook but there are a few more things about my last trip that I want to write about. I don't want anyone to think that eating is my only priority.

Okay, so the things I want to write about are - 1) Bollywood dancing, 2) Shoe shopping, and 3) My birthday.

1. DANCING

I just want to announce to the world today that I am now a certified Bollywood dancer :P That's right. Certified, stamped, and approved. I don't think I mentioned my little ass-shaking, crotch-thrusting, chest-heaving, tummy-jiggling romp on my previous post. On stage. In front of people. Hundreds of people from many many different countries. In glittery costumes. With loud music. Bollywood music.

**SMUG FACE**

I even have pictures to prove it :)

- in all my lubuk glory :)

It took weeks of practice but it was worth it. For me personally, it was like achieving something BIG because it's something that I've never even dreamt of doing. Dancing on stage?? And Bollywood at that!? You're kiddin' me!! So this can go into my little book of personal feel-good achievements. Pakak!

Oh and I even have extra drama to add to it. So we were supposed to be called 'Namaste India,' but when it was time for our dance, the commentator's voice rang out loud and clear - 'Next we have Jerusha and crew...' Hyuk!

(And please no hate for my Bollywood dancing! I've already taken some flak about Mizo-Bollywood. Just so you know, I have learnt all Mizo dances by heart and by soul way way way before I started Bollywood so..chances are I dance more Mizo dances..and better than your average Mizo girl :P)

2. SHOES

Alright, who loves shoes as much as I do? In fact, who doesn't love shoes? What woman in her right mind doesn't go weak in the knees at the sight of beautiful shoes in a shoe store? What crazy insane woman would say she doesn't like shoes and not be lying? What abnormal female human being would not shiver in an almost sensual delight amidst the smell of sexy new shoes?

Alas, our own dear Hyderabad has very limited options. I mean you have lots of stores that sells you shoes, but stores that sell buyable shoes? Not a lot. There are plenty of times I go out with the intention of spending money on shoes but still go home empty handed.

So being in Singapore was like being in shoe heaven (as compared to Hyderabad). The first store I went to the minute my feet touched Singapore soil was Miu Miu. Then Prada, then Versace, then Jimmy Choo...Just to smell them! I had to visit my affordable shoe stores too, mais oui.

And I look at my 8 new pair of shoes and I am happy! Happy happy joy joy!

3. MY BIRTHDAY

My birthday this year fell on the last day of our conference. Which means our awesome final conference day party was on the night of my awesome birthday. I felt it was a free fancy birthday party that Google threw for me. And me alone. PS: Look, you have to look at life that way (as untrue as they could/may be) or you're going to turn into a bitter bitch with a permanent frown sketched upon your unsmiling lips.
But no frowns for me because Google threw me a free, ultra-fancy birthday party. And I have mad Bollywood dancing skills and people to testify for it (or my lack thereof).

Also, my post title is the result of a week long obsession with the Mortal Kombat soundtrack. Ouch! Makes for excellent propelling music on the treadmill though...

MORTAL KOMBAT!

Frogs legs and geoducks

2011-06-16T09:28:00.018+05:30

I'm back and I can't wait to brag about this - I finally ate a geoduck!! I'm super excited that I got to eat something I've only ever read about and saw on TV. Don't know what a geoduck is? This is a geoduck.

These phallic looking creatures are actually clams. I've never seen an..ahem..elephant's penis but I'm pretty sure elephant penises look like this.

Anyway, I've read about geoducks, endlessly pored over their pictures, and I have always been grossed out by their worminess and leechiness and caterpillariness and general disgustingness, but yet...also strangely fascinated by this very grossness. So I decided that I wanted to eat it :-) So it was a very nice surprise when we walked in to this seafood restaurant, and the first thing I saw was this on their tank -

This is what they look like after they're cooked. It's a good thing they're cut up, that's the only way I'd eat them. If they were served whole, gak! All I'd be able to think of is Armin Meiwes.

But this was yum. Stir fry with chives and pine nut, they taste almost like chicken but with a penis texture :D (because I'm sure if you cook penis, this is what the texture would be like.)

And these were the best prawns I've ever had in my entire life, and I have eaten a LOT of prawns. Plain boiled prawns. When will we ever learn in India that food can be better without spice overdose sometimes? A lot of times in fact...

And next we have frog legs with ginger. Again I thought it tasted a bit like chicken, just softer and more amphibian-y :P I wasn't a big fan. I liked the frog legs (and all other edible parts) back from my childhood days cooked in an empty 'khaini' can over an open makeshift fire on the 'banks of the Chite lui' better :-)

And this is again another dish I won't forget any time soon. It's called Soon Hock, don't know what it's called in English. Steamed fish if done right I will pick over Sunday morning pork any day. Okay this site says Soon Hock is "kind of fish that is highly priced for its exceptional steamed texture"

Okay that's all about food. Now I just want to show you some pictures of the resort we stayed in in Bintan, Indonesia. Pretty waters, pretty resort!

As you can see, even the rooms are pretty nice.
View from my room -

For anyone who plan on taking a vacation soon - this place costs only Rs 1700 a night. Yeah I know, unbelievable. If I was a married person with kids, I'd take my family here. If I was single, no. Unless I'm going with a big group. I'm not a big fan of manicured lawns and stuff like that on a holiday, I like them wild and uncultivated - to an extent.

Fun trip. And of course, the highlight of it all is definitely the geoduck meal. You know, a geoduck may be disgusting to look at but it's actually very tasty and it is not the most disgusting thing I've eaten. That esteemed position goes to the raw pig uterus I ate in Tokyo. Most disgusting by far in every aspect - taste, texture, smell, and looks.

What's the grossiest thing you've ever eaten?

Have birthday, will travel

2011-06-03T14:04:00.008+05:30

I've just realised that my little blog has been around for almost 6 years! Hurrah for the longest standing relationship I've ever had with anything. We've come a long way together!

Having said that, I know I have been ignoring it on a major scale, and that is because I have become a robot. Robots don't have much to say except what they've been programmed to do or say. And blogging isn't one of the things I've been programmed to do lately. (And how is it that my computer flags contractions for misspellings when even my lowlier phone totally understands them!? T'is unfathomable indeed!)

Anyway, the latest in this robot's long line of missions is to fly to Singapore and I am leaving tonight. Yay! Work of course, but travel is travel. I got to spend my birthday last year in Tokyo, and another exotic birthday this year in Singapore officially makes me the girl you've always envied! :-) Another Sales Conference, and again I'm lucky enough to get a few extra days so I'm going to actually be able to check out Bintan in Indonesia before I head to Singapore.

In fact that was the only real reason behind this blog post, to talk about my trip. The first para is really just balderdash. I always feel I have to write something before I get on an airplane no matter what. And I really didn't want to make it seem like I'm bragging about my fancy birthdays even though I obviously am.

And if all upcoming birthdays mean a new exciting location each time, then bring on the birthdays! I'm all for growing old. (Come to think of it, even minus exotic locations, who wouldn't be for growing old. Better than dying isn't it?)

I used to make looong birthday wish lists but alas! I am now too tired and weary with the weight of ages on my back to do something like that. But if I could pick one thing I would really love to do on my birthday, it's this....

Sh(e)aring My Sheep

2011-05-06T10:11:00.007+05:30

I want to show you all my latest artwork, my masterpiece, the culmination of my life's work. I call this - "Aerial View of Four Sheep Grazing" :P

PET Scans and Manali

2011-05-01T12:38:00.003+05:30

Okay, a bit late but here we go anyway - I had my final PET CT scan I have been proclaimed clean - free of all nasty cancer cells! Hoorah! The lesions that they found on my iliac region and the one on my rectouterine pouch (the back wall of the uterus) that worried my doctors have all been found to be non-malignant.

Oddly, despite being able to more or less take everything that's happened so far in stride, this final scan totally freaked me out. It's very different getting a scan for the first time and getting one when you already have a history behind you.

It's like standing in a courtroom, after months of lengthy trial, to hear the final verdict - "Am I going to get a death sentence (of sorts) or am I going to be given my freedom?" - something like that.

I think it also had to do with week after week and month after month of hanging on and hoping - with everything you got, and you finally get to a stage where you're so drained and depleted that it becomes really really really difficult to muster up even an iota of positivity.

So I did the cheesiest thing. The day of my scan - I went, got scanned, was in a bad mood for no reason, was surly and difficult with the poor nurses, then went home, packed my bags and flew down to Delhi to meet Cousin Bteii. She and I went to Manali. I stayed away for a week just to avoid having to face that final scan result.

And when I finally trudged back home, I was 6 days late to get my results. But like 'a messenger from radiant climes,' this result came and told us all the beautiful things that we wanted to hear. I'm thankful for God's goodness. (But only a small part of me is. It's complicated and I don't know how to explain it, so let's just leave it at that.)

Every single weekend this year has been spent at the hospital, and now I only need to go 3 months from now for a checkup. I feel liberated!

And Manali was beautiful. The highlight of my trip was this handsome guy, Tiger. He'd happily run to me when I get up in the morning, like we've been the closest and best of friends for an entire lifetime. And we'd go for long walks up the hill near where we stayed, and sitting there in the peace and quiet, with apple and cherry and peach blossoms all around us, and the beautiful Tiger happily sitting there by my side, I felt calm and at peace. I was happy inside out.

Phantoma Sikret

2011-04-21T10:42:00.003+05:30

Do you remember these?

If you do, you're ancient :-)

Macavity, clearly one of the great ancient ones loves them. So much so that she sent this email to the cigarette company after being re-introduced to these cigarettes by another great ancient soul after decades of forgetfulness -

fromMacavity

toinfo@harnik.in

subjectPhantom Sweet Cigarettes

Dear Phantom Cigarette Company,

We are big fans of your sweet cigarettes and were wondering if you would be so kind as to ship us a carton. We will be happy to pay for it, if you give us details of payment methods.

Or give us a list of distributors/shops in Pune/Hyderabad, so we can purchase from them directly.

Thank you

Regards,
Macavity

On life

2011-04-17T21:44:00.005+05:30

"She said she usually cried at least once each day. Not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful and life was so short."

I Sing for Joy at the Work of Your Hands

2011-03-29T23:19:00.012+05:30

My test result came and guess what?? Okay don't guess, I'll tell you. The lesion on my abdominal area shows "no signs typical to melanoma" or any "sign of malignancy." A heartfelt thank you to every person out there that prayed for me.

I'm sure no one prayed for me about this next win, but I did a lot of praying for this - the Google Football League! And looks like someone's prayers are being listened to. About time too (I just have to add that because I feel like God has been ignoring me and ALL my prayers for quite a while).

The Tribe won!

Here's an exuberant us after our win with our trophy. And look closely, because you'll see I have a second trophy in my hand ;) Does it look like a 'Best Player of the series' trophy to you? :)

It is, and that is mine! All mine! Yes, I won the best player award - believe it or not. I still can't quite believe it myself. (Caribou, Zoram lam ai chu ka awh zo rih khawp e haha. Commentator te pawhin 'All the way from Mizoram' an ti vel dap dap reng mai! :))

And now you can also say I was famous (for a day) because a thousand plus people ate a dish named after me for lunch :P The good Macavity who never have sambar at lunch had a bowl full of it just because it bore my name and she's an awesome friend.

I played defense, but I took over the goalie role when the games get to penalty shootout stages. And I, without any shame, will include this picture of me scoring a goal during the penalties because I'm so freaking proud of myself.

The only downside to all of these is that I now have the ugliest knees in the world. Scarred, scabby, just generally very unfeminine knees.

And on top of that, just when my battle wounds were about to heal, I made this really bad decision to go water surfing last weekend and I wound up with raw knees all over again.
But I think I sort of got to instructor-stage goodness :D And I would do it again in a heartbeat even if it meant even uglier knees.

Heh! Excuse the extreme modesty. It's hard to stay humble because I'M ON FIRE! YEAH BABY!

All this joyfulness aside, I have to go for another PET CT scan tomorrow to have yet another node (on my iliac region this time) checked out. Same thing again, we need to know if they are metastases of the melanoma.

It's getting to be a bit tiring, and sometimes I'm just downright sick of it all. I think I've only had about two weekends this year that I didn't spend some time at the hospital. But you know, even though every test is always frightening, overall I'm not too worried. I think God has always given me enough good to tide me over the bad. And whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well with my soul (Well I'm only trying still...)

And because the God on the mountain is still God in the valley, and the God of the good times is still God in the bad times.

The God of the day is still God in the night.

Dr Doom and Soccer and Life in General

2011-03-21T10:04:00.010+05:30

"I'm afraid there's no hope. There's nothing that can be done. You'll have to start preparing yourself..." This is what my new oncologist told me on my first meeting with him 2 weeks ago.

After looking at all my test results and proclaiming "This is not good, this is not good at all" after looking at every sheet of paper, he told me that if this mass in my cervical region (called the pouch of Douglas) wasn't operable, there would be no hope for me.

"I'm sorry.." long dramatic pause, looking at me sympathetically. I think he half expected me to burst into tears but when he saw no tears forthcoming, he continued "I'm really very sorry."

We've been monitoring this lesion since we found out about it last year, and after a few failed tests we haven't been able to confirm if it is cancerous or just a harmless fibroid. All my previous doctors have been very positive since my nodes are all clear, and technically the melanoma would have to travel through my nodes before they can reach my abdominal area.

When I asked him why he was treating it like it was a confirmed case of metastasic melanoma when there's been no confirmative report, "It most likely is" he said. It was almost like he wanted it to be.

I was far from crying. Of course, it's scary to hear words like that, but I was too angry to focus too much on fear. How can anyone tell you that there is no hope? It is my choice, my decision to keep hoping or not to. No one should ever tell someone that there is no hope because hoping is a personal right, one that we can choose to cling to even on our death beds.

As I sat there, listening to all these dark predictions, all I could think of was how off everything seemed. "I feel like a million dollars, and yet this is what the doctor is telling me. How can I be dying when I feel so great?" It may sound a bit dense, but cancer or not, when you feel so healthy and ...alive, the thought of dying just can't really sink in. Even when this fancy doctor in this fancy hospital with all his fancy degrees tell you that there is no hope for you, your mind just refuses to believe the things you hear.

Anyway, Doctor Doom ordered a battery of tests and appointments with a radiologist (because he was positive I needed radiation therapy) and an oncological surgeon.

To cut a long story short, the senior surgeon was angry that a big deal was made out of something that was possibly nothing. He canceled all the tests that Doom ordered, and asked me to do another ultrasound guided FNAC (this is the only thing that's made me cry so far by the way, the pain is freaking intense).

I will get my test result on Friday. I feel very positive about everything. Hopefully, things will not be as bad as Doctor Doom predicted.

Well that's all on the dying side. On the living side, I am awesome! :) I signed up for one of the girls football team for the Google Football League. My team is called The Tribe, and guess who's captain? :) And it is only appropriate that a true tribal captains a team called The Tribe :P

That's me, #1, winning all the tosses for my team.

We've played two matches so far. Lost one 1-0, and I'll admit we were not very good losers. We sulked and remained dour-faced for the rest of the day.

A good lecture from our beloved coach -

And we won our second match 3-0!

Football is healthy. And I don't mean just physically. Believe me, when you're out on the ground engaged in full-out combat with your enemy, cancer is the last thing on your mind.

Love is also healthy :-)

This swell life

2011-02-25T22:30:00.004+05:30

Booo!

This is how my feet looks right now, my classic swollen feet look. (I know you don't really want to look at my feet but I feel vicious tonight). Don't judge my poor feet too harshly though, there was a time I used to have nice feet. And these very feet, believe it or not, used to be gazed on with much love and adoration. But post thyroid surgery, bad hair days have taken a step back to bad feet days. Did I ever mention that when I was a baby, a maid spilled boiling water on my right feet? You can still see the scars. And now, that coupled with the bombasticity leaves me with very little to be proud of.

I'm home alone on a Friday night. Isn't that just tragic? My boredom these days is getting so unmanageable I'm starting to prefer being bored on my own. It's more tolerable than being bored in the company of others. At least I don't have to keep up pretenses. Here on my own I can paint my nails all the colors of the rainbow in one night.

Skipped out of work early, canceled dinner plans with a lie for an excuse. Tried to buy a pair of pretty red suede shoes to cheer myself up (thank God I still fit into a size 36!), but the stupid credit card machine wasn't working and I barely had enough cash to pay for my rickshaw fare back home. I went home fuming, accusing the whole universe of conspiring against me.

And I've been weeping like a fool because I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind and I felt so sad because I missed my unswollen feet and I'm so much in love and I don't have anyone or anything I want erased from my mind ever. Ever ever.

And I feel threatened. That this 'force' - something beyond anyone's control is trying to erase everything I know. Trying to erase me.

But I'm still here, my memory is still intact. And as for ugly appendages...they're not the end of the world.

And to compensate for the gross feet picture above, here's another one. Nicer to look at with pretty green trees and because I really miss this day.

One of these days, I will do something like this for a living. Hang around trees all day. With unswollen feet.

Poor Balaam, poor donkey!

2011-02-22T18:33:00.003+05:30

I was overcome with so much confusion and general befuddlement while I was reading the Bible the other night. The source of this deep perplexity are these lines from the book of Numbers -

And God came unto Balaam at night, and said unto him, If the men come to call thee, rise up, and go with them; but yet the word which I shall say unto thee, that shalt thou do. 21 And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. 22 And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him.

Numbers 22:20 - 22

In verse 20, it clearly says that God told Balaam to "go with them." But then when he went with the men, God's "anger was kindled because he went."

And if you read the entire chapter, you'll see that poor Balaam was actually really careful about whether or not he should go with the men, repeatedly telling king Balak despite his offers of great honor et al "If Balak would give me his house full of silver and gold, I cannot go beyond the word of the LORD my God, to do less or more."

Why was God angry with Balaam??? Does anyone understand?

How little of the Bible I understand! How little of my life I understand! How little of everything I understand...

It's Valentine's day O white-livered ones

2011-02-14T13:11:00.005+05:30

On account of it being Valentine's day today, I'm going to take time off off my busy schedule to share one of my favorite stories with you. The following is an excerpt from T.H Lewin's book, Wild Races of South-eastern India - that's us if you didn't get it. Anyone belonging to the wild Mizo race should enjoy this story and I hope it reminds us where we came from and what kind of men our forefathers were.

And now let us proceed with the story. This is what Lewin said:

A young man, a Riang Tipperah, who lives in my house, was formerly a slave of Rutton Poi’s (a Lhoosai chief) [Rothangpuia], and I have heard from him many accounts of raids made by his master. He used to accompany the Chief as the bearer of his weapons.

His first raid was in 1860, made on the Bengallee inhabitants of Kundal in Tipperah. They fell upon the villagers at day-dawn, according to custom; and the Bengallee men, with one consent, ran away. The women, however, stood their ground, and abused their grim assailants vociferously for breaking into honest people’s houses.

The Lhoosai laughed at their shrill tongues at first, but later it was found troublesome, and one young woman had to be cut down pour encourager les autres. The Chief confided to my boy’s care two women, captives. All the prisoners were fastened together by a cord through the lobe of the ears, and the Lhoosais set out with their plunder on the return journey.

Now, one of the captive women was young, and not accustomed to walking; so after the first day’s march her feet swelled, and she was unable to go further. The Chief therefore ordered that she should be speared. “Well,” said the narrator, “I took the spear and went towards her, and Rutton Poia said, ‘Do it neatly, I will look on,’ for it was the first time I had ever speared any one.

When the girl saw me take the spear and come towards her, she fell a-weeping, and caught my garments and my hands, and all my heart thumped, and I could not hurt her. It was pitiful!

So the Chief began to laugh at me, and said, ‘O white-livered, and son of a female dog, when we return to the village, I will tell the young maidens of your courage;’ so I shut my eyes and speared her. My stroke was ill-directed, and she did not die; so the Chief finished the work, and he made me lick the spear. The blood of Bengallees is very salty. Since then I have not been afraid to spear any one.”

Among the Lhoosai it is customary for a young warrior to eat a piece of the liver of the first man he kills; this, it is said, strengthens the heart and gives courage.

Wild Races of South-eastern India - T.H Lewin

*Sigh* Don't you just miss those good old days! The days we ate human liver and licked the blood of our enemies off our spears! :-)

Seriously though, Rothangpuia is my favorite Mizo chief. If we were still living in Rothangpuia's time, today instead of spewing Hallmark-y lines to a man and giving him gifts of little bottles of liquid to make him smell like the inside of a shopping mall, celebrating Valentine's day, I would be seeing my man off to battle, and instead of a mushy love poem, I would be telling him "May you be unhurt, and bring home many heads!" What's more romantic I'm not even sure anymore...

And oh, happy Valentine's day O white-livered sons & daughters of female dogs! :P

P.s. You can download or read the book online here, which I strongly recommend you do. The Englishman's patronizing tone can get a bit annoying, but the book makes for a very interesting read otherwise.

Just call me Masterchef

2011-02-13T11:29:00.004+05:30

Sometimes my own greatness astounds me. There is nothing I can not do in this world. How does one deal with such overwhelming worthiness? I'm like a modern day Midas, everything I touch blooms and turns into gold, or into a delicious cake!

Baking is such an ego trip :-)

If I had known mixing some flour and eggs and other otherwise boring articles together and putting it in the oven could bring one so much pleasure I would've studied baking in college. It would've been more gratifying than cutting open dead frogs and rats.

This is my first ever attempt at baking. I was already consoling myself before I got started. "Baking is hard and it's your first time so don't take it too personally if your cake comes out looking like a lump of charcoal" I told myself.

But voila! It didn't look like charcoal, and it tasted really really really good! :) (If you're my Facebook friend, you're already sick of these pictures because I plaster my wall with them). Anyway, pretty good for a first timer don't you think? Especially since my cook book was really undecipherable (ounces, grams..ugh!) so most of it was pretty much based on hunch work.

Well what I really aimed for was a Victoria sponge cake. I didn't have whipped cream so it falls short of the ideal VSC image wise, but my friends did not complain.

It's times like these that I really wish that I have the family here. Cooking is only fun when there are people to eat and appreciate it. I can happily slave all day in the kitchen just to hear people tell me how good my roast chicken was, and how full their tummies are and hear them tell me days later that they still dream of my prawn curry. And here there's only so much I and the two weight-watching roomies can eat.

Well, if anyone feels like cake, call me! :-)

Say hello to the demons in my head

2011-02-10T10:45:00.010+05:30

(Wrote this some nights back but forgot to publish so doing it now)

Despite dear Blackestred's suggestion to unite Minotaur and my dignified cow, I feel, as an artist, I must explore my artistic spirit and graze away from my bovine fixation. Therefore, in this project, we will do demons instead.

Being the descendant of overly superstitious ancestors whose mountains and forests abounded with spirits, it's inevitable for one to grow up without a fairly obsessive interest in the supernatural. Stories from those days of yore thrilled and excited me when I was a kid, and I have these images firmly embedded in my head of what each spirit would look like. Funny thing is, I find even after all these years those images stay the same as they were first pictured in my head. And these are drawings of some of the spirits the way I've always imagined them to be.

First on the list is the tau. Male spirits I think. In the night, much akin to typical behavior of the human male, the taus like to hang out with their buddies. Accompanied by a very strong animal scent, very like the human male gathering. But the similarity ends there.

The taus, instead of chugging beer, spend their nights carrying torches and doing aerial acrobatics in perfect synchronization. Of course, humans can see only the torches, as the carriers are not visible in the dark. It's supposed to be quite a show, and those of us who never got lucky enough to witness something so mysteriously beautiful should realise that our lives are that much less richer because of it. This is what they would look like with night vision -

The tau, who is quite a social animal in the night is a loner during the day. When the sun comes up, they like to loll around on the branches of trees growing out of steep and inaccessible cliffs and sun themselves all day. In my head, the tau sunning himself always looks benign as he sleeps contentedly on his branch.

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Next we have the pheichham. This is a female spirit, and it's main job is to grant people wishes. Of course, just like today's corporate world, it insists on the longest and troublesomest process to get her work done.

When a human sees it, the shy pheichham will bats its eyelashes and run away. The human has to be brave enough to not run away screaming at its horrendous appearance, should be fast enough to catch the hoppity-hopping spirit, and be strong enough to hold on tightly and not let go because it will try to shake you off like a bucking bronco.

The pheichham will then ask him, not unlike a job interview, 'What do you see for yourself a few moments from now?' Then the brave soul will say all the things he wishes for himself, but all in one breath. If he takes a breath in between, his wish is immediately null and void, and the pheichham will jump away cackling.

The books always describes the pheichham as an old woman, horrible to behold, scraggly hair, drooping, saggy breasts and has only one leg. For some reason, in my little girl's mind, I saw her as an entire leg with a head, like so -

Pic 1.

Even now that I'm all grown up and I know now that this (Pic 2) is what a pheichham should look like, I can only picture her as Pic 1 in my mind.

Pic 2.
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Third on the list are the khuavangs. They consist of both genders and like humans, marry, reproduce and even spoil their young. They live underground. They're generally quite harmless except in the Kungawrhi story. My old school books didn't really describe their appearance but in the Kungawrhi story, they had black faces. But again, because I sort of connect them to fireflies, this is how I picture them -

They appear out of the darkness as glowy, pale faces, with a sort of a humming sound. They look sad all the time - most likely because of the drabness of their living conditions.

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And last but not the least is the khawlhring. Now this is a bad spirit, up to nothing but mischief. The khawhring's main occupation is to covet the possessions of the humans it shares its habitat with, with a particular fondness for gongs. In order to get its sickly hands on these coveted items, it makes people sick and then makes its demands through the sick person - "I want so-and-so's gong," and if this so-and-so refuses to part with his gong and its demands are not met, the sick person would never recover and eventually die.

The khawhring is a drippy, sloshy spirit, oozing with the slime of centuries old sicknesses. And of course, that's only in the pages of the picture book in my head. No one's ever given a clear description of a khawhring, and I have a feeling no one's going to find out any time soon.

It mostly afflicts its victim with terrible stomachaches. So next time you're stricken with that nasty stomach pain, think twice before you blame your poor ulcer.

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Bonus item: On the bonus item we have the tualsumsu. Personally, I think no other spirit is capable of striking as much terror as this one, the thought of it fills me with intense fear, even though it isn't in the habit of harming anyone except the poor soul it possesses. But I believe the mere sight of it would surely be worse than taking a few bops to the head. So being harmless doesn't really do much for its reputation in my opinion.

Well the tualsumsu is not actually a spirit but a possessed female human being. This woman will live a normal life and go about her daily routine during the day, but when it's night and the dark settles in and evil awakens all the dark forces, the spirit will flip this poor person upside down and proceed to make her roam around the empty streets inverted. The afflicted person might complain of a dull pain on the head the next morning, but won't remember her upside down romp from the night before.

A friend once told me this story of how when she was a baby, her dad was posted in some remote village. According to the village people, there apparently was a tualsumsu in the village, and at night people were scared to venture out, locking themselves in their houses. My friend's mother, obviously more enlightened than the simple village folks called it balderdash and paid no attention to it.

But then one night, as she was sitting by a window nursing the baby with only a candle burning and everyone else had gone to bed, out of the stillness of the dark night, she heard a thumpity-thump-thump sound coming down the lonely road. 'What could it be?' she wondered, and looked out the window - and behold! on the street was a young woman on her head, legs up in the air, slowly hopping down the street.

Now doesn't the very thought of that fill your heart with dread?

The tualsumsu somehow seems related to the Chinese hopping spirit. I saw it in some Jackie Chan movie once, this hopping spirit. Arms outstretched, hopping around and all I could think of was the tualsumsu. Maybe they're related. Or like the male/female versions, a bit like the succubus and the incubus.

I just don't like this hopping business. Normally-walking spirits are bad enough, I don't see where the need to hop arises. It's just not a nice thing to do.

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You can see I'm totally jobless. I am trying really hard to stay in more and go out less, so unless I do something, anything to do with my time, the restlessness monster will catch up with me.

Motor Acid

2011-02-08T14:31:00.007+05:30

Kan tet laiin vawikhat D.C Workshop motor hmanrua chhia etc an dahna ah motor acid an lo dah kan chhar a. A chhung a a phek kha kan la chhuak a, lawm em em in inah kan hawpui a. Choka atangin bowl leh fiante pakhat kan ru chhuak a. Chhuah pahin chi tam tawk kan tham ru bawk a.

Inchung lamah kan tlan chho a, tah chuan tuiah kan chiah a, chi kan telh bawk a. Kan chil thli te tla zawih zawih khawp in kan han chawh vel hnu ah, kan han in tan ta a. Fian te khat theuh vel kan hawp hman tihin ka U hi a lo kal thut mai a.

"Enge in tih? Kha enge kha kha?" a rawn ti ta. Fian te chu min rawn laksak ta thawt thawt mai a. Tuman engmah kan sawi duh lo a, kan ngawi thap a. Fian chuan an hawp chhin a, "Eee motor acid elaw, tha lo lutuk! Khawi ami nge in neih?" a tia. Bawlhhlawh paihna ami tih kan sawi a.

"Tenawm lutuk, tenawm lutuk, hetiang ei reng reng suh u" tih pahin chhuatah chuan a leih baw ta vek mai a. Concrete chhuat te chu a phuan suah suah mai a acid in an chiah chuan, chuti chung pawh chuan keini chuan ui em em in engmah sawi ngam si lovin kan en thap mai a.

Chutia a leihbuak zawh chu ti tha inti takin inhnuai ah min chhuk san leh mai a. Kan zing a pakhat chuan "I U Mama chu a sual kher mai!" a rawn ti a. Midang pawh chuan sual an tih zia an sawi sap sap a. Kei lah zak leh thiante laka inthlahrung em em in ka awm a. Acid bua ai chuan min leihbuak sak tu kha ka U ani kha pawi ka ti ber mai. Khami ni a ka U kan ngei em em zia kha.

Hemi tih loh hi chu motor acid ka la ei chhin awm pawh ka hre lo. Mahse ka thiante zing ah heh tak tak an tam. Mizo lo hi Motor acid liah ching hi khawvel ah an awm ve angem le?

Death and dying and all that crap

2011-01-31T10:57:00.012+05:30

Just in case you've missed this story in the news - it's about this dog called Leao that survived the Brazil floods but his owner didn't and the dog just sits and sits by his owner's grave for days on end.

This story really broke my heart because it makes me think of Bozo (who in fact looks a bit like Leao) and how terribly sad I would be if were to die and I had to see him sit so sadly on my grave like this day after day. So I've decided it would be better if I die only after he dies, so he won't have to go through something like this.

If I'm going to be really selfish, I think I would like to die before anyone I love dies so I won't have to go through the pain of losing them. But when I think of people to whom my being gone would be painful, like my mom, I feel so bad for them I think I'd rather she die before I do so at least she can die with me by her side.

But the best thing would be to all die together. Yep. Easiest for everyone involved. Or just live forever and ever and ever. Nothing would beat that. But life is life, a death-stricken one at that and it sucks in a major, major way because no matter what, some people go first and some people are left behind to mourn them forever, to plants flowers on their graves or something like that. And it's just a generally sad story any way you look at it.

Why I'm not saving the world

2011-01-27T14:57:00.014+05:30

I was alone in the house the other night reading in my room, enjoying the peace and quiet when I realised that I was sort of hungry. I got up to make some popcorn and as I was walking towards the door, a thought suddenly struck me - "How weird would it be if I opened the door and I find a Minotaur sitting in the living room."

And the image was immediately blown up from a giant projector in my head, as clear as day. He was sitting cross-legged.

As I walked into the kitchen, I continued to think about the Minotaur that was not there. "I wonder what I'd do. If he was sitting at the dining table, at least I could make a run for it and get out of the house. But if he's in the living room, I'd have no chance because then I'd have to run past him to get to the main door...

Hmm...I guess I'll just have to run back to my room and shut myself in there. But what if he butts the door in? And I won't even be able to escape through the windows because they're barred." I felt almost panicky.

But then another thought popped up as the Minotaur was just sitting there placidly. "Hey I wonder....should I try talking to it? But what will I say? Hello? Hi there!? Ahoy? Namaste? Konnichiha? And even if I somehow say any of these things, and it said hello back, what would I say next?"

And as the corn popped, I thought about whether I should offer him something. "Would you like something to drink? We have tomato juice, orange juice, soy milk, or I can make you tea or coffee."

Then I quickly thought about how it would not be smart to offer anything with milk in it to a Minotaur. I know I'd freak out if someone offered me a drink made with human bodily fluids. Tomato juice, I decide. Because I was somehow suddenly assailed with a clear, calm conviction that the Minotaur in my living room loves tomato juice.

It went on like this for a while before I realised in a moment of temporary sanity how truly moronic my thought process was and that I was putting a lot of precious brain cells to work to solve nonexistent problems with a nonexistent Minotaur.

Oh and check out these writings on a piece of paper I found while cleaning the other day. Something I'd scribbled on a plane traveling to where from where I don't even remember:

It's beautiful outside, giant cumulus clouds everywhere. So far I've seen -

1. Several rainbows

2. The giant flying dog from The Never Ending story, can't remember his name

3. A snowman on its back with a giant bellybutton

4. An ethereal looking Pterodactyl

5. A chicken headed turtle

I admit now that it may be a bit disturbing to be a fully grown adult and see these kind of things. Especially since I usually look for UFOs when I'm in a plane looking outside.

Anyway, you see now what I'm getting at? I realise now the reason I have not achieved greatness in my life is because my mind insists on dwelling on Minotaurs and flying dogs. And cinnamon. While we all know that everyone on the path to immortality or a Nobel Prize should be pondering over the true meaning of life, or discovering a cure for AIDS, or fight for the poor and downtrodden.

Or even better, build an asteroid annihilator because we all know an asteroid is going to hit earth some day and by building the asteroid annihilator I will save the entire human race. Maybe they might even replace Gandhi's statue in the town square with a statue of me in my home town.

I'm sure Mr.Bell wasn't thinking of Pterodactyl clouds when he invented the telephone. And the Wright brothers were most likely not thinking of flying dogs when they were building the first aircraft. And Newton most certainly did not look up at the branches of the apple tree to see if there were any magical, mischievous creatures that dropped the apple on him.

It's a bit sad, that I am not intended for greatness. But at least now you have one more thing to be thankful for because of me! You should be very glad that there's no Minotaur in your living room and that the chances of you being killed by a Minotaur is zero because if you suddenly walked into an unsuspecting Minotaur sitting on your couch and it attacked you and you're gored baaad and you're lying there with your guts hanging out oh how desperately you'll wish that there was no Minotaur in your living room! I'll bet you never thanked God for that :-)

As for me, I will henceforth try to walk the path of righteousness and wisdom and not be sidetracked by mythical creatures scattered along the way. I will achieve greatness yet.

I wonder if Minotaurs like cinnamon...

Templates and iPads and iPhones

2011-01-27T13:00:00.008+05:30

I got me a new template with a slightly wider text box. Yay! That's a small 'yay' because it's not what I had in mind but it's better than nothing. I just picked the first template I saw, changed a few things here and there...and I know I said no frills et al but I saw this with the pretty flowers and had to have it. And they're pansies (one may be a nasturtium). And I love pansies. They take me to a nice warm sunny place. Somewhere like Nancy Sinatra's Sugar Town. I love that song but I've always wondered about the meaning. Is it about drugs?

One hitch - I can't change the blog archive link color. Anyone knows how to?

I was just going to write about the template but lemme share a quick screenshot. It's from an email thread about when/where to meet up for dinner the other day. This one friend 'S' wrote:

You see how that 'Sent from my iPad' is even more visible than the message itself? I know..aaarrgggh! right? 'Sent from my iPhone/Blackberry/iPad' messages makes you want to send the sender to outer space. Anyway, when another iPhone-less and iPad-less friend 'N' and I read the email, N decided enough was enough and sent back this reply:

Don't you just love 'N'?

By the way, what do you think of my cow drawing? It's a dignified cow with a green scarf :-)

Need a new template. Help?

2011-01-21T16:09:00.003+05:30

Okay I need a little help. I'm looking for a new blog template and I've been looking and looking and I just can't seem to find the type I have pictured in my mind. I saw some wordpress themed ones that I like but I'm really fond of my raggedy blogspot site. If you have any suggestions, I'll be happy to hear them.

All I want is a big text box, where I can write a few sentences without it looking like the longest and windingest post in the world. I'm also particular about background color - must be white/light colored. And 'About me' column preferably on the left hand side of the page...Annndd no frills, no glittery butterflies, no shiny fairies, no colorful flowers. Just a plain, no-nonsense template - but not too severe or boring or plain :P

See such a simple template :-)

Or if any of the tech-savvier types out there is interested in making customized templates, I'm happy to pay for it.

Hello 2011

2011-01-19T09:59:00.003+05:30

Hei hian kumthar post tan phawt ang...

Ka zin kawngah lungngaihna tawkin

Zan thim te lo lang thin mah se

Ka nun hruaitu Krista A ngai reng

Mei leh chhum dingin ka kawng min en thin

Ka tan ni leh thla eng lo mahse

Lalpa ka kumkhaw entu A ni

Hmuhsit elrelna lo thleng mah se

Lalpa ka ropuina a ni

Ka hringnun hian ropuina zawng leh

Chawimawina chan dawn mah ila

Hmuh theih ram tha ka thlang ngai lovang

Engkim a engkim Isua ka nei si

Khawvel ah hian thimna lo thlengin

Beidawnna chhumpui lo lang se

Hlimna hian min hnuchhawn mahsela

Ka enna Krista ka tan a tawk e

Counting my 2010 blessings

2010-12-27T23:13:00.011+05:30

I'm leaving for Mizoram tomorrow with the family to spend some time with the rest of the family. Sort of excited about the new year, hoping for a lot of bad things to go away this new year. Also partly dreading it because I'm scared that the bad things will continue to stay or even get worse.

Anyway no matter what, I still think 2009's been a pretty good year. Things got crazy there towards the end of the year for sure, but even those brought so many good things with them undeniably. I'm not in the best of spirits now to be honest but I intend this post to be a strictly thanksgiving post so yeah let's see....

Okay, 2009 - the year of the great cancer attack. Gah! Not wanted. At all. But it's also been the year of the fabulous Japan trip! And don't forget the very important promotion...and soo many wonderful things that came throughout the year.

But mostly I'm so thankful for the people in my life. Like the friends and cousin whose bloods pump through my veins right now. Literally.

Or that wonderful lady who lit a candle for me in the beautiful St. Stephen's Cathedral in Vienna.

And special friends who knew enough to give you a Poe while everyone else is forcing self-help books down your throat.

And my grandma who cries on my the phone and makes me sad but softens my heart every time we talk on the phone.

And that friend who sent me Australian health supplements all the way from Melbourne. In fact, made his grandpa send it to me because he was not even in Australia to do it himself. Just because he hopes it will help me beat cancer.

And Zimi the Indian who sent me Zorba the greek so I would have something good to read while I was recuperating and bored in bed.

And my dad who sends the right messages at the right time and lift my spirits.

And my mom who is and has always been my ultimate pillar of strength.

And all the people who come to my blog and leave inspiring messages that gives me faith and hope.

And the rest of my family who keeps calling even when I don't want to talk :P

...and it's impossible to write down all the truly thoughtful things that people have done for me. I'm a bit sad that I can't think of too many nice things I've done for others. That will be one of my new year resolution.

Well I'm going to sleep now because I'm tired. And while I brush my teeth, let me upload a few pictures.

This one's from tonight, took the family out for a last Hyderabadi dinner for the year at Sahib Sindh Sultan.

Christmas day, St. George's Church
And my new favorite person and I at the park :) And yes, he makes me laugh. Like a perfect little gentleman.
This new favorite person also now accompanies me on all my evening walks. It's going to be lonely walking by myself when he's gone.

Have a wonderful new year everyone!

Behind the clouds

2010-11-26T08:54:00.006+05:30

I didn't want to do a quick post but I guess I will have to anyway if I want to do any post at all :(

I feel like this blog is slowly turning into a cancer blog but there seems to be a lot of that in my world right now so here we go again...

Okay, first the good news that I was so excited about. Well it may not seem that great a deal to be honest but it means an awesome lot to me. I took my radioactive iodine therapy on the 16th of this month. Dreary isolation room for 32 hours and 5 days later, I had my final full body iodine scan on the 23rd, and the doctor finally declared me all good. Hooray!

I was really excited because it was so scary waiting for the result to come worrying about 'What ifs?' - What if the therapy doesn't work? What if they find that the cancerous cells had actually spread beyond the thyroid region, beyond the help of the radioactive iodine? Just the thought of entering the isolation chamber again dragged me down to depression hell, I dreaded it so much. That's why when the doc tells you all's good, your spirit leaps and stays on the air for quite a while because you can finally let go of so many of those 'what ifs' :)

And you know what this means - my thyroid ordeal is over. At least until the next check up scan 6 months later. And I am finally on my thyroid replacement meds which again may not sound like a whole lot but when you've been through days of extreme lethargy and general tiredness and you feel like a freaking zombie because your body is swollen like shit and nothing you do helps and it's a struggle to stay awake all day, it's the best thing in the world to know that finally, these medications are here and they are going to help you and you don't have to put up with that crap anymore :)

I still have some minor melanoma related tests and ultrasounds that I have to go through in the next few weeks, but whew! So much more easier to be dealing with one cancer than two. (Actually, make that dealing with two cancers instead of three..and that's another long story that will take up an entire post.)

Anyway, I'm very happy. It's like a huge chunk of weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I just want to announce to the world that I am rejoicing :D

And oh, I also feel compelled to mention that work sucks. More than it's ever sucked in 5 years. Of course, it's probably got to do with me being out of touch with everything what with me being out of office so much but still...

Anyway for this reason and the other two cancers that I'm still dealing with, it is very important to take what little reason one has to rejoice and blow it out of proportion and celebrate in grand style :) For example, we went out for a really nice dinner on account of my mom's surgical drain being removed yesterday haha

If you're reading this, you should go out wearing your best dress and shoes and celebrate something. Maybe the fact that you and your loved ones are healthy and alive should be a good enough reason to start with.

So tell me what's a little rain?

2010-11-23T15:36:00.005+05:30

I have good news! I have good news! I'm so happy today :-) But I'm saving it for later because I'm at work and I don't want to do a quick post about this one. I want to tell a story, a real, proper story. And I will try and do that tonight but till then, I want to share with everyone the one song that has helped me through the darkest 3 months of my life and made it possible for me to cry tears of happiness despite the many tears of pain.

I hope with all my heart that at least one person can read/listen to this song and see and feel the things this song has shown me. It is one of the best blessings I've received in a long time. It's called 'Bring the Rain' by Mercy Me.

Bring the Rain

I can count a million times

People asking me how I can praise You

With all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly change

Who I forever am in You?

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings you glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain.

I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

Holy, holy, holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

---

I realise the first few lines sound like it comes from someone with immense faith and strength - so not me! But I hope I'll redeem myself when I write about the details later on...

If I Can Dream...

2010-11-12T09:39:00.014+05:30

It's such a beautiful day. Can I dream for a while?

Only a few months ago, I had so many travel plans, some big, some small but all of which I had to put on hold because life kept throwing the darndest, most unexpected surprises at me. A few canceled trips later and still more for the future, here I am itching like mad now to get out and go somewhere. I can't even look at my suitcases without a twinge of longing.

I miss the smell of airports. And the feel of airports...Hell I think I can even merrily skip through an hour long security check right now. Or even just jump into a train and go wherever that train is bound for (I wouldn't mind Mongolia:)). To be among a crowd of strangers, not knowing who I could meet, who I might run into, what kind of experience awaits me...

I want to sit on a beach where no one knows me and where I know no one and just be lost in the moment and not have to think about surgeons and dermatologists and oncologists and radiologists and calcium levels and interferon. And to sit in the sun and not worry about what the sun's rays will do to my skin cells.

I want to go hiking, climb up a mountain and stand on top and look at the world from there and cry because I'm so happy to be a part of all of these. Behold all of God's wonderful creations and sing at the top of my voice because it's so beautiful.

I want to jump into the ocean once again without worrying about whether I will sink or float. But if I'm going scuba diving again, sink successfully this time :) Or go skydiving again but with the man I love this time.

I want to spend a night in the forest camping out under the stars with my dog and a few good friends and a guitar. I want to have a little house with yellow curtains with a cobbled pathway with cosmos blooming on the sides. I want to have a pretty little garden and grow my own vegetables and adopt a few more dogs.

There are so many things I want to do! Someday soon...

But right now I can't even go out of town because I have to get admitted back to the hospital on Monday for my radioactive iodine therapy. But thankfully, till then, I have plenty to do. Another cousin coming over for the weekend. Yay! Cousin Biteii will be here and it'll be fun to show her around the city. And having mom and the others back here. They're all getting here tonight so I have to rush home and cook a nice dinner for 6 instead of the usual steamed French beans and a glass of protein drink for 1 :-)

And one of my most favorite people in the world is getting married this weekend. I look forward to wearing my best sarees (...one of which is a brand new Rohit Bal ladies! Woot! - which I could indulge in only because of a canceled Europe trip by the way), do my hair and wear pretty jewelry - even though I feel freaking weird and bloated because of my no-iodine diet. Bloated in a designer saree but who cares!

Drugs and dreams

2010-11-09T00:35:00.010+05:30

I've been having the craziest dreams! Some scary, some just weirdass funny. Like this one I had last night. It started out as this normal enough dream I think. Or uneventful because I don't remember anything about how it started. Or it just started in the middle as dreams are wont to start. They like to start without beginnings, these sneaky dreams, and often just dissipate without proper endings. Or just end horribly. And once in a while delightfully, but that's rare.

Anyway in last night's dream, there I was walking alone in a dark street somewhere in Mizoram. Then suddenly two of my cousins came bearing down on me, asking me why I've gotten into drugs. And even though there were no drugs involved before they showed up, their question made me remember that I had bought drugs earlier on that night and immediately felt it in my jacket pocket. I threw it out while my cousins were not looking.

They threatened me in all sorts of ways that made me shake with fear and cry and shout telling them that I had never ever used drugs in my life. Never ever. And I didn't know why I had bought them that night. No one even seemed to hear anything I said.

It was a luminescent green liquid in a tiny plastic bottle by the way, the drug I'd bought. More like a fairy tale magic potion than anything else.

They kept asking me what it was that I had bought. I told them genuinely that I didn't know. Then all of a sudden these annoying cousins were gone and I was alone. I was putting my hands back in my jacket pocket and touched a piece of paper - the receipt from the drug dealer! Yes, this very nice drug dealer had written me a nice handwritten receipt :)

And I looked and guess what was written on it? There on the piece of paper was written very neatly and clearly the name of the drug I'd bought, which was...wait for it.....Whatchamacallit :-) And beautifully written too. I read it and I remember the word as well as I would have if I'd read it awake. And after 'Whatchamacallit,' the drug dealer had written within brackets - (otherwise known by it's chemical name '.....') and I can't remember that part. I just remember Whatchamacallit haha What part of my subconscious that came from I wonder!

It surely can't be the influence of books. All I've been reading in the past few days have been 'The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket' by Edgar Allan Poe, and 'whatchamacallit' is not something I think one will ever find in Mr. Poe's vocabulary.

The night before that, I was standing in a courtroom and it was me that was on trial. It was all very chaotic but it cleared up and quieted down all of a sudden. They had just announced the verdict, and I was guilty. And then someone asked the judge (who was a very, very big, stern looking black man by the way) what my punishment was going to be. He looked at me in disgust and in the most menacing and hatred-filled voice I've ever heard in dreams or in reality, spat out 'Death!'

I woke up with that word ringing in my ears and hated Mr. Foul-mood-judge because I don't get enough sleep as it is and he woke me up in the most impolite of ways and didn't even come back to apologise for it afterwards when I went back to sleep and slipped back into dreamworld :-)

(And don't try to see too much in my dreams and overanalyse them :-) You might say I'm condemning myself because of all my spiritual strife over my shortcomings, or you might say they're drug induced because a lot of people seem to think I'm still on heavy medication. Just calcium tablets people! Not strong enough to hallucinate on or kick start drug-induced stupors I would believe... :)

Dreams are fun to talk about the next day. The things your head conjures up when you set it free...isn't it just amazing? In fact I think I'm actually quite creative with my dreams even though I have nothing to do with them :P And who cares if the delightful endings are few and far between? Good movies don't always have to have happy endings. I've always liked movies that have me sobbing my heart out in the end.)

And the waters still keep rising...

2010-11-03T16:35:00.009+05:30

Deep is the river that I have to cross

Heavy the weight on my shoulder

I have discovered how great is the cost

Of trying alone to cross over

I try and I try but the current's too strong

It's pulling me under and my strength is gone

Don't leave me stranded

Rescue me, my God and my King

The waters are rising and I cannot breathe

Wrap your arms all around me

Carry me over, rescue me

There is a bridge that is easy to cross

Where all of our burdens are lifted

And peace is the land that is waiting for us

Lord give me faith to believe it

Cause I'm in a storm but I'm willing to fight

I'll overcome and I will not die

With You by my side

I will sail over the oceans

And high over the mountains

And soar up to the heavens

Here is my hand and my heart and my soul and my mind

Things seem to go from bad to worse. And in all honesty right now I'm pretty broken but whatever evil forces are lurking around gleefully watching waiting for me to give up in myself and God, if it looked like I was about to this morning, well, not anymore. I hope you hear me scream 'I am in a storm but I'm willing to fight, I'll overcome and I will not die - with God by my side.'

Muthilh theih loh manah

2010-11-01T01:45:00.007+05:30

Ka mut reng a chhuak thei lo tun zan chu. Khawvel a ka thil nin ber chu muhil si lova khum a mut hi. Chuvang chuan harh kur a khum a mut reng ai cancer ah bawk lut leh lawk teng!

Hetia cancer patient lo nih ve tak a thil pakhat ka notice - mi tinreng mai hian testimony ropui tak nei nghal thuai turah min ngai titih tlat mai hi :) Mahse cancer vei pawh ni ila, mihring ka la ni si a, thlemna lak a a ngai te a chak lo, duh leh it ngai te te, mi ngei ngai te te a ngei a, chak lohna ngai te te la nei vek ka ni si.Thil danglam awm chhun chu a hma a cancer vei lo misual kha tunah erawh chuan cancer vei misual ka lo ni ta a a ni deuh mai :-)

Min an treat dan ah erawh thung hi chuan Paula eng in a chhun thluk tawp ang mai hian an treat emaw chu ka ti deuh :) "Kha le Cancer!" an tia an rawn theh thruai a, eng a chhun thluk ang maiin min rawn vawm thlu a, tichuan vawi leh khat ah ropui tak a Lalpa tan a hna thawk nghal tur ang deuh ani in ka hria min beisei na chu. Midang cancer vei ho te pawh heti hian an lo beisei ve thin awm sia ka tia ka khawngaih ta rum rum mai.

Kei lah chu cancer leh thih hlauh vang ngawt a uchuak tak a Pathian han koh vel hi ka lai tlat mai anih chu! A dik kher lo ang mahse, ka cancer miah loh leh dam that var pawh a ka tih ngei loh tur chu thih hlauh vang mai a ti ka nih chuan Pathian pawhin A duh ka ring lo deuh tlat lehnghal nen...

Pathian ngaih thu bikah, kei hi chu misual, Lalpa lak ata hla tak tak vah bosan reng ching ka nih avang hian cancer hma daih tawh atangin nun khawro avangin zanah ka harh a ka Pathian hi ka ngai thin. Tunah ka cancer hnu ah pawh a dang chuang lo. Dawt sawi loh chuan cancer vang a ka ngaihzual em em tak ka hre lo. Misual Pathian hlat avang a Pathian ngai thin kha, tunah pawh misual cancer vei Pathian hlat avang a Pathian ngai thin ka ni leh mai.

Mahse cancer thu ah chuan he cancer hi purpose neiin Lalpa hian a rawn thlentir tih ka ring nghet thlap a. Chuvang chuan zawhna leh hriatthiam duh ka ngah lutuk. Khang a ka zanlai a Pathian ka hlatzia ka hriatchian thut a, Lalpa hma ah ka mangangin "Lalpa, ka hnaih theih na che anih dawn chuan ka nun ah pawh hreawmna emaw harsatna emaw pawh min pe mai rawh" ti a ka dil thin na kha a rawn chhanna a ni berin ka hria.

"Harsatna min rawn pe rawh" tiin ka dil apiang hian, ka sawi zawh rual rual hian ka hlauthawng leh ziah thin a, thil rapthlak lutuk hi A rawn thlentir mai ang tih hi ka hlau leh thin. "Lalpa harsatna min rawn pek chuan thil hreawm nasa lutuk chu theih hram chuan ni lo se, ka tawrh theih loh tur chu min pe suh" hi ka ti leh zung zung thin.

Cancer a rual a pahnih min rawn pe ta hi, khatia ka dil lai kha chuan hetiang a ni dawn tih hria ila hlau in ka khur ang. Mahse ka lo hre lawk lo hlauh a, Aman ka tawngtai chhang a min rawn pek si chuan ka tawrh theih tur A ti tihna ani mai a. Chuan ka tawrh theih na turin hlauh lohna te, ka fight na tur a ka mamawh tinreng A rawn chhawp ready nghal vek bawk a. Hemi thu ah hi chuan ka tawngtai chhan na famkim ani a, vuina pakhat mah ka nei rih lo. (Future chu ka sawi thei lo :))

Mahse chu sawi tawh angin, thlarau a khat tak vek emaw tih vel chu a hnai lo nasa. Mi re re hian Pathian in ka chung a thlentir nachhan te, Pathian in ti tur a min duh te, Pathian hnen a ka tawngtai dan tur, ka sawi tur leh dil tur te pawh an chiang em em vek a. Kei a cancer ber a hian a engmah hi chian ka nei si lo.

A chang chuan mihring bula ka rilru a questions te, ka hlauhthawn leh ka rinhlelh te sawi ka ning thin. Cancer vei miah lo leh la tuar ngai miah lo in cancer thu ah min han sermon khum hrep mai chuan an thusawi te hi eng ang pawhin dik se, a dik tih pawh hria ila, min hmangaih vang ani tih hriat pawhin, kei misual rilru ah chuan a tla na har leh tlat thin.

Vawiin zan ka muhil thei lo pawh khumah ka inngaihtuah a, Pathian ka ngai a, ka hlau bawk a, ka mamawh bawk a, ka ning bawk a, a kual nuaih nuaih a. Han titi thawven ka chak a, mahse zan rei tawh nen titi pui tur an awm loh bakah tunge titi pui ka duh ka hre lo a. Pastor fel deuh awm se, zawhna ka va han ngah tak ka tih rilruk laiin, Isuan "Engatinge midang I zawn I zawn? Kei titi pui tur ka awm reng a" a rawn ti a.

Ka rilru a ka vei zual te chu ka hrilh a ka thaw chu a veng deuh. Tawngtai chuan "Aw Lalpa.." kan ti dek dek a, sawi tur hi ka hre lo ka buai vek thin. Mahse vawiin zan chu ka tawngtai lova kan titi a ka sawi ve teuh mai ka tawngtaina a ka sawi ngai loh thlengin thlengin.

Mahsee ka Lalpa lah hi A tawng zawi thin si, A tawng tlem thin bawk si, thawm dang ri min tibuaitu a tam si ka duh ang hian A aw ka hrechiang thei thin lo. Hriatthiam theihna te hi school a lehkha kan zir ang khan lehkhabu min rawn pe se, note te min ziah sak a kan lo by heart a kan hrethiam ta mai thin ang kha nise, lehkha ka zir nasa viau ang te ka tia. "Lalpa enge ti tur a min duh?" tih hi ka zawhna lian ber ani. School ang te nise teacher te khan a answer ready in min han pe leh ang a, kan han by heart leh mai tur!

Mahse chupawh chu Isuan min hau leh deuh titih in ka hria, "Engkim hi hriatthiam nghal vek tum tut tut suh" a tiin ka hria. "Anih ka buai lo ang a, mahse nitin ka rawn zawt ziah ang che" ka ti a. Mahse chupawh chu kei michak lo lutuk hi ka inring zo leh lo a, "Ka rawn zawh theihnghilh che chuan min lo remind thin rawh" ka ti leh hram :)

Pathian lakah chhe te tal pawh chhuan tur ka va han nei lo tak! Chu question pakhat nitin zawt tur pawh a inrinna nei zo lo khawp a mi nghet lo ka ni. Ka inkhawngaih letling tawh :) Mahse hei pawh hi ka lawmna tizual tu a nih na a awm - heti khawp a chhuan tur nei miahh si lo hi malsawmna hian he ka nun hi A va han vur nasa si tak! A mak ee chhuan tur nei miah si lo heti zozai lawmthu sawi na tur thil min pe phal si hi...

Aaa a tam lutuk ka rilru a thil awm hi ka tlaivar hma in mu daih ang dar 4 a ri tawh. Tihian zan rei ah hi chuan engkim a reh a, a dam duai a. Mahse zing a lo ni ang a thlemna chitin rengin min rawn tibuai leh ang a, ka va han peih lo tak!

Do you make a good Malaysian?

2010-10-25T21:05:00.012+05:30

Okay! Small break off work so I can quickly tell you about this funny story before it slips through my lazy mind.

It happened a few days back when me and my cousins Marian and Rosy were trying to get to this salon in Jubilee Hills to get Marian's hair done (Hakim's Alim - this one stylist who was there was a total dickhead by the way. I hope he reads this. Sweet receptionist though).

Anyway there was a rickshaw shortage in the city that day due to the drivers sulking about being forced to use the meter I think. So we waited and waited and waited and were on the verge of giving up when finally an old man in a gleaming chariot came riding up and halted and asked us where we wanted to go. (It was actually a rickety rick but at that stage even a rusty bicycle would've been, for us, akin to a knightly steed.)

"Jubilee Hills" we said, to which he readily agreed to go. And when we asked him how much (which is the norm because as you may have already guessed, the drivers only quote their own prices and don't use the meter so one always has to bargain first), to which he again happily replied "Free, madam!"

I asked him again because I thought I heard him wrong, but he stressed again that he would take us wherever we wanted to go free of charge. And while we were pondering over the strangeness of this kind gesture, he said "I have just one request, I'll take you to this shop where you quickly browse around for a couple of minutes. All you have to do is tell them you're from Malaysia when they ask you where you're from."

"But we're from Hyderabad" we said. Still continuing to smile peacefully he told us that was okay, we just have to lie and tell them we're from Malaysia. It seemed like a harmless enough request, and we were desperate and a free rickshaw ride!? How many times do you get that offer in a lifetime? So we said okay and off we went.

Along the way he explained that there was some South-east Asian convention in the city and certain stores expect a lot of South-east Asian tourists/shoppers and he gets some monetary compensation for every foreign shopper he brings to their shops. I knew the kind of shops he would take us to and I warned him that even though we will look, we most definitely will not be buying anything. He okayed it all.

We found ourselves in front of a fancy, high-end handicrafts shop in some posh corner of town. The three of us trooped in confidently and were welcomed with open arms. By and by, the inevitable question came - "Where are you from madam?" And horror of horrors! I discovered I could not say 'Malaysia'! I opened my mouth but nothing came out. No sound of 'Malaysia' escaped my parched lips.

The nice gentleman looked at me opening and closing my mouth but when no answer came forth, he probably thought I was just imitating a fish out of water (which I sort of was) because Malaysians do it all the time and he frequently gets Asian customers who walk into his shop and out of pure excitement start imitating a fish I guess.

Undeterred he cleared his throat and asked again. And again the mouth opened, but no sound issued forth. It was the most uncomfortable feeling in the world, and I was so close to panic I even for a second contemplated acting deaf and mute.

Now I'm not pretending to be an angel or anything. I can lie. I can twist the truth around and even sound very convincing at it. I'm in advertising after all :D But the thing is, there has to be an essence of truth in it. Give me a piece of truth to use as a core and I can wrap pretty lies around it. But unless I have that base to work on, I'm useless. I just can't do it.

Thankfully Marian came to the rescue and smoothly told him that we were from Malaysia. They aahed and told us how delighted they were to have us and raved about how much they like our country. We smiled politely and putting on the airs of moneyed tourists started browsing through their wares.

"Are you here for the convention?" they asked. This one was easy. Before anyone could answer, I shouted "NO." Maybe a little too enthusiastically but I think they were happy to see that I was not, after all, mute. (See I can be good when I have that basis of truth :))

They fawned over us, took out their best silk and cashmere and amethysts and silver and spread them out before us. Like we were royalty. Bliss! I started to enjoy myself and tried on their cashmere wraps and crystal jewelries while trying to find some excuse for not wanting to buy anything I tried on (other than not being able to afford it - which was the truth).

Lost in the loveliness of the things they threw at us, and the smell of expensive, exotic perfumes wafting in the air made us forget about our promised 2 minute browsing time. We draped the cashmere shawls around our shoulders, tried on the many bejeweled earrings...Marian got so into our roles that when she tried on an expensive silk scarf at the request of the owner, she tied it around her head like a typical Malaysian headscarf instead of around her neck which is the only way she's ever worn scarves in her entire life.

30 minutes later we reluctantly decided to leave. I had despite all good intentions also picked out a georgette saree that I could afford, and as I about to pay my bill, I heard one of the salesmen exclaim "Welcome sir! Come in come in." I glanced at the door, and I saw a group of Asian men making their way in through the door. Catching me, an Asian woman, staring, they beamed with gladness. At running into a sister in such a far-off and foreign land I suppose. They all turned and smiled at me.

I knew immediately without a doubt that they were Malaysian. Female intuition, sixth sense, divine intervention, whatever it was, I knew it was a bunch of Malaysian men smiling at me that very moment. And I panicked. I managed the quickest smile that ever passed through human lips and looked away immediately. My pulse quickened, my heart was beating against my chest, and my hands trembled as I handed the salesman my credit card. I tried to smile, told him that I just noticed the time and that I was running late for an appointment and could he please hurry up.

"Of course madam" he chirped happily. But his movements were slow and deliberate, I knew he wanted those men to come to us and start a conversation. They wanted their store to be full of happy Malaysians excitedly chattering away in Malaysian! Malaysian men meeting their countrywomen in a foreign land, convincing each other to use their Malaysian Rupiahs to buy tiny silver elephants and ridiculously expensive chairs imported from Dubai and other such nonsense.

Me and Rosy became by some magic perfect candidates for extra roles in the Night of the Living Dead. I could tell Rosy was even more terrified than I was. Marian was hanging around somewhere in the back oblivious of the danger we were in.

Then the dreaded nightmare happened. A voice, belonging to one of the wretched salesmen who I would have loved to smite down in great earnest if I had been a smaller God. But because I'm not one and only Gods can smite and I can only...kick (Karate lessons :)) no smiting happened.

Anyway, back to story. The voice rang out through the store - "Ooh what a coincidence! Madams here also from Malaysia!" And before I knew it, they'd sauntered over..I couldn't breathe. I stood there, staring at the wall, stone-faced, being the meanest person in the world because these men were sweet and all smiley-ey and beaming at us. And worse, all the salesmen the store had, about 5 of them, stood around us, beaming radiantly at this joyful union as well.

How do I explain the thoughts that went through my head at this point. It went something like this - "That's it, if they come any closer, I'm just going to come clean. I'll say 'Stop we're not Malaysian so don't come any closer and I'm really sorry but we were lying because the rickshaw guy asked us to and it seemed pretty harmless at first and we really needed to get somewhere and we were desperate but we're sorry and we'll never do it again because we suck at this and it's not a nice thing to do and I'll buy more of your nice things if you'll forgive us!!"

Then I heard it. "As Salam Alay Kum!" (Arabic for 'Peace be unto you') said a male voice. Me and Rosy steadily trembled (Hah! An oxymoron there?). Then a female voice, loud and clear, answered "Alay Kum Salaam!" Shocked I stole a furtive glance and saw the female voice belonged to Marian. What's more, it looked like she had just straightened from a little bowing of the body! She bowed while saying "Alay Kum Salaam"! I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. Rosy and I looked at each other, too scared to laugh but too bemused by the perfect Arabic greeting to cry.

In any case, I thought that's it, we're caught, there's no way she can go beyond that. But surprisingly they switched to English. I heard them ask if we were in Hyderabad for the convention and other relatively safe questions. I thought things looked better and we may yet make a dignified exit.

Then I heard one of the men ask "Which part of Malaysia are you from?" The question even though not directed at me made me shiver to my bones, for everything I knew about Malaysia flew away like a bird the moment I heard it.

Slight pause. Then I heard Marian say bravely "Pedang."

"Pedang??"

I told the guy to hurry with my saree.

"Yes Pedang"

"Weird, I've never heard of it."

One guy was trying to wrap my saree in some flowered paper, I grabbed it "No need to wrap!" He wouldn't let go. "DON'T wrap it!" I literally screamed.

Malaysian guy to Malaysian guy: "Do you know where Pedang is?"

Second guy to first: "Nope never heard of it."

Guy stuffs my saree in brown paper bag.

Marian (sounding indignant): "Of course there's Pedang. Our grandparents live there. We live here in Hyderabad with our parents but our grandparents live in Pedang which IS in Malaysia!"

Guy slowly takes out a shopping bag and equally slowly drops my sari in. Rosy and I wrangled the shopping bag from the lazy guy and dashed out the door, grabbing Marian along the way. It was rather rude I admit, as we didn't even give Marian a chance to bid farewell to her newfound Malaysian friends.

But something told me her farewell wouldn't be as smooth as her greeting because she doesn't know how to say 'Later' or 'See you' or even a simple 'Bye!' in Malaysian.

Once we reached the safety of the rick, we laughed till our stomachs hurt. Then Marian got angry at us. She was embarrassed because she made a fool of herself. She wanted to know why we didn't tell them that we were from Thailand or the Philippines even. She screamed that she will never ever go out with us again and that we were not worthy of being called cousins. Then we laughed some more and headed towards the salon.

Then it turned out that the salon only had that one asshole Arabic-scarf-wearing stylist so we bought some clothes at a nearby store and went home.

(Also what is it about these scarves that all wannabe hairdresser/stylist types think they should have one around some part of their snooty bodies at all times?! And snooty for what reason I haven't been able to fathom.)

Anyway, my advice to anyone who is not Malaysian who gets an offer to act Malaysian for a free rickshaw ride, say no. Its just not worth putting your heart through that kind of stress.

Battle scarred but alive and kicking :)

2010-10-15T18:22:00.010+05:30

Okay, first ever thyroidless post of my life. Another milestone. Not one that I thought I'd ever cross but here we are, and everything seems to be intact. My surgeon was afraid of two things - that my voice might change. For life. Or that I might have to breathe through a breathing tube for a few days but the operation went smoothly and I still sound the same and I'm still breathing through my nose :)

My doctors have been amazing, and the nurses were sweet and helpful. Check out my pre-surgery hairstyle one of the helpers sweetly did for me. Pretty fashionable huh? :)

It's been 11 days after my thyroid surgery and about 50 days since my leg surgery. When you just listen to all of this, this test and that and this surgery and that surgery and this treatment and that, it sounds like a lot to go through within a couple of months, and you'd think I'd be battered and bruised and sucked dry of energy by now. But in all honesty, I feel and look the same, except for this new huge scar across my neck. I feel as healthy as I did before all of this started and I thought I was the healthiest human being on earth.

I also really want to talk about how once you go through it, despite how scary everything may sound, none of it involves pain that is worse than....than stubbing your toe. So it's really not that bad at all :-) Just in case there's someone out there facing something similar and you're scared.

There are so many procedures that can sound downright terrifying but when you go through it they're okay and the few bad ones are the fairly common ones that you wouldn't even think twice about normally. In fact, let me list out my most unliked parts ranging from their levels of pain/unpleasantness involved:

1. Surgery; Thyroidectomy - no pain (on account of me being out like a light maybe but in the end, what matters is that you feel no pain).

2. Nausea from the anesthesia - bad bad bad especially when your throat had been cut open the previous day and you feel doing something like retching might pop open your raw wound and your leftover thyroid area tissue might come spilling out :P

3. Countless needle pricks - very little physical pain but mentally unpleasant.

4. Night in the ICU - highly uncomfortable but no pain, and the discomfort only mainly from being unable to move freely because you're hooked up to so many machines. And remaining still is not one of my fortes. And don't forget being thirsty to death but not being allowed to drink. It made me remember the rich man from the Lazarus story in the Bible (the beggar, not the one that Jesus raised from the dead) and like him I wanted to call out 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus with a little water so I can cool my tongue.' But alas, even the freedom of speech was taken from me that one night.

5. Neck harmonium :P - well I just call this the harmonium. After the surgery, there was this pipe coming out of my neck (gak!!!) and into this contraption that looks like a harmonium. And I had the tube coming out of my neck for the next 3 days after surgery. But this was still not the worst because there's nothing more shiver-inducing than...

6. Peeing in a bed pan while lying prone in bed! - how do I explain the horror of all that this act involves! Luckily for me, it was only that one night in the ICU that I was forced to do this but I have to say, because I peed in a bed pan that night, I am forever scarred. But remember this if you ever have to do this - if you can pee in a bed pan without getting up from bed, you can do anything!

I'm awaiting my next line of treatment which is the radioactive iodine therapy. I don't know how bad that's going to be, but I know it's not nasty like chemotherapy so I thank my lucky stars for that. I'll just be really radioactive for a few days and I've gone through a somewhat similar experience before so I believe the worst is really over.

It's also really bad looking at your thyroid floating around in some liquid. I would've posted a picture but I think it would be appropriate to show some respect to my thyroid and leave it alone. But maybe I can use this one - my last picture ever with a thyroid :) Before I was being wheeled into the operation theatre.

But more than anything, this is mainly to thank everyone who called, messaged, emailed, visited, gave me flowers and wished me well in the past couple of weeks. I can't explain in words how truly grateful I am. You've all taught me one very valuable lesson - I will treat every single sick person I know with so much compassion than I've ever been able to show before because I know now how even the smallest show of concern can mean so much to someone lying in a hospital bed.

And to everyone, it is not easy to really comprehend how terribly you need your your family and friends when everything in your life is going great. But you WILL need them at some point in your life, and they are soo precious and important keep them close and love and cherish them.

Oh and make sure you have insurance :-) Even when you think you're young and healthy. You don't know what may happen.

Cancer makes you think of dying

2010-09-30T02:01:00.002+05:30

Ever since I found out about my cancers, my thoughts keep going back to this conversation I had with a friend sometime back. She asked me if I've ever felt like I wanted to die. That there are times when things get so bad she'd want to die and that she believes all humans go through certain phases in their lives when things are just so bad they want to die.

I told her honestly that I've never in my life wanted to die. Even when life sucks BAD and I'm hurting so much I'd rather sleep on the bare floor rather than on my own bed. I love living, I love being alive, I love my life. And even when things get really really really bad, even to the extent that I think it might be better to have never been born at all, I've never wanted to die. Because of the fact that I love this life I have now and also partly because death sounds so...lonely. And also because dying is scary as shit.

There are moments when these flashes of anger come and assail me. Why? Why is it that this is happening to me - me who have always cherished and loved life and have always been grateful to be alive and have never ever wanted to die? And these people who hate life and living and long for death are cancer free? I think it's a little like this baby thing :) Some women would give anything to have babies but they can't, then some women who don't want babies get pregnant at the drop of a hat, only to abort them or give birth to perfectly beautiful babies who they'll probably ignore or give away.

But that's how life is. It's not like only people who want to die die. I know people who love life as much as I do die everyday. And I guess in the end it's sort of good that this is happening to me because I want to live and I have the will to fight this with everything I have. I won't have the will if I was so keen on dying would I?

And you know...even being a sinner has it's plus points :) It makes you meek and humble before God and you know you can't complain. I know I'm in no position to complain so I'm not and it makes taking this gracefully (if you can call it that) easier. I want to take this as graciously as I took my promotions or my free international trips. There's nothing that I don't deserve - the good, the bad, and even the ugly...cancer.

Bye-bye Thyroid and other body parts

2010-09-23T04:05:00.010+05:30

If you're reading this, consider yourself lucky, a part of one of history's defining moments (well in my history anyway :P). Why? Because this will probably be the last time (or one of the last times) I'm blogging with a thyroid. It's not everyday you get to read a blog post written by someone who's losing a thyroid after all.

It's sort of funny how when you can completely ignore your thyroid all your life, be totally oblivious to it and yet be so concerned about losing it. I mean, we don't really pay attention to our thyroids the way we do our skin, hair or even our nails do we? We use expensive creams and lotions and stuff to keep them healthy and glowing but the thyroid? A completely neglected organ, poor thing. It's only when you're losing it that you start giving it attention, and despite all those years of neglect, you know you're going to miss it. I sort of miss mine already.

And what's up with the past few weeks anyway?! It's almost been like 'give pieces of yourself away' weeks. I also bid goodbye to a mole on the back of my right leg exactly a month back. In fact, this whole trip started from that mole.

I noticed the mole growing in size and went to get it checked by a doctor. It was still really tiny so everyone thought it was totally unnecessary, Mizoram phone calls would be peppered with insightful advices like 'Just use Lelte lotion, that's what we all use to get rid of growing moles, why the expensive surgery?' But I have a great fear of moles that don't stay the same. The doctor thought it was probably nothing, I said I was scared that it could be cancerous, doc said 'I'm 99% sure it's okay but let's get it removed anyway.'

And so we did, and a biopsy was done, and guess what that itty bitty tiny little thing turned out to be? A malignant melanoma. If you Google that, you'll see that melanoma is the most dangerous form of skin cancer. And all my life, I've always thought that only Caucasians get melanoma, not brown-skinned persons like me.

I once worked on an online ad campaign for the Australian Cancer Council. I remember sitting there, writing lines like 'There's no such thing as a healthy tan!' and thinking how lucky I was that I am this skin colour and that I don't have to sun-bath or use a tanning booth. I did not even consider myself at risk at all when I was writing those lines, warning people about the dangers of skin cancer like melanoma. And yet there I was, melanoma very much on my body.

Anyway, under pressure from family, I saw an Oncologist after the melanoma was removed. He suggested a whole body PET CT scan just to be on the safe side. I thought it was unnecessary. The doctors had removed the melanoma, and assured me that it hadn't spread anywhere. What are the chances of them finding another unrelated cancer I thought.

Wrong again. They found a nodule on my thyroid which after further testing turned out to be papillary carcinoma. That was Monday, and now you know why I will be farwelling my thyroid. The scan also detected some other nodule on my cervical lymph nodes which was also supposed to be tested but it was so small the ultrasound couldn't detect it when they tried to perform FNAC so that's been put on hold.

Well that's about the end of my cancer story for now. I am undergoing a lot of tests right now in preparation for my surgery. The surgery will be followed up by radioiodine therapy. And I will regularly stand naked in front of a friend or a family member to check for any new signs of a rouge mole henceforth. Not too bad I think.

Getting two completely unrelated cancers at this age seemed a little unfair to me at first. But when I go to the hospital and I see all these little kids with worse forms of cancer than mine, I feel ashamed to even think about unfairness.

There are a million things that go through my head, and I would love to write them all down. But maybe I'll save all of those for later when I'm in the hospital bored sick in bed itching for something to do.

Anyway, my message to you all is this - get that mole checked if you notice any irregularity. My mole was so tiny people joked that I was getting a cosmetic surgery when I went to get it removed. I have always used sunscreen lotion. Get that lump checked even if it doesn't seem to be anything serious. I am very careful about what I eat - the greens lover, the apple-a-day-eater, I work out regularly and am very physically fit. Although not perfect at all, I do try to treat my body well. During all of these, I have never felt sick or tired, did not have any pain, no complaints with my thyroid, not even a peep, never even a lump that I noticed, there was just nothing that would suggest that I was even remotely sick. I even got voted 'the most athletic' on a team outing some months back :P

Smoking is one bad habit of mine that I hate. But with thyroid cancer, what they say is that there seems to be a lower risk of thyroid cancer in smokers especially if they're still smoking. Well, I'm a smoker and I'm still smoking. Just like melanoma, sunscreen and hardly no exposure to the sun on any regular day or tanning booths didn't help, smoking which was supposed to improve my chances also clearly didn't.

I think I have cancer genes and that I am just genetically predisposed to cancer. Cancer have always been in the family and if this had happened when I'm like 50, I wouldn't even be surprised. Now just seems a tad early. But then who's to say when is early and when is not.

Please keep me and my family in your prayers. And pray for me especially so that I can learn to listen and hear what God is trying to tell me through this because I know He IS trying to tell me something.

p.s: A friend was telling me the other day that I only have one in a hundred chance of getting thyroid cancer. That, and with the doctor's 99% surety that my mole was not cancerous and yet me getting the one in those hundred chances in both cases, do you think maybe it would be a good time for me to buy a lottery ticket? I'm sure to win if chances favor me the way they've been favoring me with cancer :-)

p.p.s: I really hate it when people treat me like I'm sick or dying just because I have cancer. Living leads to death, so anyone who's alive right now has as many chances of dying as I do so we're all in the same boat. And don't send me chocolates because I don't like them. Flowers are welcome :))

p.p.p.s: And appreciate your thyroids. Every once in a while, give it a little pat or a nice rub and say thank you!

Mizo thei leh thlai te leh an Sap (leh vai) hming

2010-08-03T19:32:00.028+05:30

Pangpar leh a extra kan ti tawh bawk a, tunah thei leh thlai leh bonus ho han ti leh teh ang. Keipawh mi huan a thei lo ru kumkhua lo in, mahni a thei huan te hi Pathian in rem A tih chuan siam ve te hi ka chak a, chung tih dawn hunah internet a han search zung zung theih nan an Sap hming hriat hi a tangkai.

Heng ho hi chu kan naupan laia kan koh thin dan a ni tlangpui a, an hming dik tak a ni leh nih loh ah ka chiang lo.

Ar-a fanghma: African horned cucumber, horned melon, blowfish fruit (US lamah) etc

Kan naupan lai chuan khat tawk a ramhnuai a hmuh fuh hlauh tih loh ah chuan hmuh tur a vang. Chaltlang Zotui tuikhur bulah khan a zam nasa thei. Zotui kha a hrang an ti thin a, ngaina lo deuh chung pawhin Ar-a fanghma a rah tih kan hriat chuan kan kal tang tang thin.

Bawrai: Indian Jujube, Indian plum etc. Vairamah North lamah kha chuan 'Ber' kan ti mai thin, South lamah hi chuan...ka hre lo.

Vairam bawrai lian lurh ang chi hi chu tui ka ti lo khawp mai. Mizoram bawrai phak deuh chep chuap ngei kha a tui. Vairam ah hian pawn a an rawn zawrh hi chu hetiang lian tui lo chi hi a ni na in, an ramhnuai ah te leh kawt ah te pawh bawrai kung lo rah hi chu kan ram lam ami nen a in ang.

Bepui: Hyacinth bean

Hei chu sawi vak tur awm lo. Saum nen thak tek tok in bai ila a tui em em tih mai loh chu. Chhumhan pawhin a tui tho.

Bepui thlanei: Winged bean

Hei pawh thil tui dang. Hei chu a saphming hi a common a kan hriat fur ka ring. Ka telh nachhan chu a Sap leh Mizo hming meaning in ang vel dan em em hi a mak ve mai mai a. "Literally" a Mizo to Sap (or vice versa) a leh te pawh a ang.

Chengkek: Kokum, Wild Mangosteen, Red Mango

Chengkek hi a lar em em lo nain, a cousin Purple Mangosteen hi chu khawvel ah chuan tropical fruit lar pawl tak chu ni. Thei poster ah te khan hei chu an telh ve ziah kha :) Thailand/Indonesia velah khian hei hi chu a tam a. India ramah pawh theizuar lian deuh chuan hei hi chu an nei ve tlangpui. Hyderabad ah chuan pali vel zel a pack hi Rs 60-70 an ti. Delhi ah chuan kum 5 kal ta khan pakhat hi Rs 100 in an zuar thin. Imported a nih tlangpui vangin a to.

Chengkek pawh Mizoramah heti em em a a that theih chuan heng chi pawh hi a that duh ka ring. Han ching teuh mai ila, India ramah thawn chhuak ila, imported price ai a hniam deuh si in, a hlawk duh ngawt ka ring. Hei chu Chengkek ang lo takin a pawn tuamtu hi a ei theih loh a, mahse a mu var lai hi a thlum bon thuais a, vai ho duh chi tak ani. Aizawl ah ka hawn a, thenawmte leh chhungkhat ho te ka eitir a, tui an ti nasa. A mu an dah tha sap sap mai kui tiah beiseiin. Lo kui tiak hlawm tak ang maw...

Hlonuar: Sensitive plant, humble plant, shameful plant, sleeping grass, touch-me-not

Hei hi chu 'touch-me-not' tih hian kan hre lar hlur a, a hming dang ho khi bepui thlanei ang deuh, a in leh mawi em avangin kan telh ve re re ani e. Eg. Hlo = plant, nuar = sensitive (mi sensitive thinrim hma deuh te sawi nan a kan hman ang context in). A zung hi rulchuk damdawi ah a tha an ti.

Iskut: Chayote, Chow-chow, Vegetable pear etc

Hei pawh 'squash' tih chauhin kan hriat dan a ni tlangpuiin ka hria. A tui ve em avangin boksik ve re re ang :)

Kawlsunhlu: Otaheite Gooseberry, Malay/Star/Tahitian Gooseberry etc

Hei pawh thil tui full fight! :) Sunhlu pangai aiin tui ka ti zawk.

Lenhmui: Jambul, Java/Portuguese Plum etc

Hei vairam ah chuan Jamun kan tih hi. Hei pawh hi vai Jamun lian pui pui ai chuan a thlalak ami ang Mizoram a te reuh te te phak deuh deuh kha a tui ka ti zawk. Kan in kawt ah kan nei thin a, a picture ami ang chiah hian a rah thet thin. Ka lung a van tileng tak!

Pawihte ha: Salak, Snake fruit etc

Pawihte ha leh hruipui rah ah hian ka buai! Ka nu chuan thil in ang an ni lo atia, hruipui rah ni a ka hriat chu Pangpar post ah khan Moriche palm tih a ka dah kha.

Rul chaw: Mock strawberry

Tuikhur leh hmun dam ah khan a to duh thin. A hmel a it awm avang hian kan ei leh nge nge thin, mahse a tui lo.

Sazu theipui: Velvet apple, Mabolo

Hei chu phak thlawn. A hming re re atang hian a itawm loh, mahse ei chuan ka chhung zawng zawng a duk vek theih avang khan intih bawn nan naupan lai chuan kan thial lui tawlh tawlh thin :)

Sertok: Pomelo

Sertok is veri tui tih mai loh chu sawi vak tur awm lo.

Theiria: Jabuticaba (??) - Hei hi chu theiria ka hriat dan hi a chiang loh avangin a dik loh ka ring mah mah. Mahse ka mitthla a theiria ka hmuh dan nen chuan a inmil viauin ka hria.
Bukpui khua ah vawikhat chu ka pa in min hruai a, kan thlenna te in kawmthlang ah theiria kung hi an lo nei a, heti hian a kung leh zar zawng zawng ah khan a rah duk hi a lo bet khat chur mai a, ka thau ah te min man deuh titih. Natna a ang :) Mahse a thei hi chu a thlum a a tui bakah a mu te kha a nem vek a a ei theih zel mai a. A mu nen a ei zel theih hi thei ah chuan a tha ber mai! :D Bawngkawn Brigade field thlang ram ah pawh sawn theiria kung chu a awm nual thin.

Tuaitit: Bignay, Currant tree etcHei pawh thei tui (mahse ei em em dan a vang) leh lung ti leng.

Thei herawt: Starfruit, Carambola etcHe thei hi chu ka thei ngainat loh tlemte te zing ami a ni hlauh. Ka ei luih chuan ka luak dawn zel.

Zapan zawngtah: Leucaena, Coffee bush

Bekang nen, hmarcha hmui nen han rawt ila a tui full. Vairamah hmun tinah a to hi Mizo vairam awm Mizo chawhmeh rawp em em tan chuan a vanneihthlak. Keini pawh kan apartment kawtah a rah reng a, duh hunah chuan zanah zuk lawh zuai ani mai. Mahse ka ngaih bel nge vairam ami hi Mizoram ami angin a tui ve lo in ka hre leh tlat.

Chawngbawla: Kaffir LimeSer ah chuan tui ka tih ber pawl. A thur dan hi a chiang. Thei tan hian piangthar hi thur dan ah hian teh ta ila he thei hi chu a piangthar tha ngawt ang :-)

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Chiang lo group - chhui peih te tan a chhui zawm tur

Pangkai: Langsat

Langsat an tih hi a thlalak vel a an lang sat sat danah hian pangkai ni ngeiin ka hre na a, ka chiang ngam lo. Engnge in ngaihdan?

Ka thei hriatpawlh tawp theih loh chu theitat leh tuai ha beh. Ka mitthla a ka hmuh danin hetiang ve ve hian ka hmu -

Heng hi Lakoocha an tih leh Kwai muk an tih nen hian a in angin ka hria. Lakoocha leh Kwai muk hi chu tlem in an dang na a, family khat, in ang lek lek an ni.

Thei pahnih ka vei em em an saphming ka hmuh theih miah loh chu khawmhma leh bil hi. A hria chuan min rawn hrilh ula lawmman ah khawmhma den ka lo pe ang che u :-)

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Tunah bonus track :P

Ka thil mak tih mai mai, kan Mizo tawng leh Saptawng te, kan Mizo 'myths' leh ram dang myths te lo in ang ve tlat thin ho pahnih kan boksik lok ang e.

1. Seliah - Cowlick

Seliah hi Sap hovin cowlick an lo ti ve hi mak ka ti. A in ang chiah chiah a a meaning hi. Se liahna hnu chu a ang pawh a ani maithei, mahse han an theih hi a ngah em a, entirnan 'Sam luhlul' te pawh lo ti ta ila awm ve tak tho ania. A sap ho pawhin 'cowlick' ti loin 'Pillow hair' (hehe) te lo ti ta sela a awm ve thei tho. Mahse hetiang a sam awm kan hmuh a, thildang tam tak a an theih kar a, bawng in a liah na hnu chiah kan lo tehkhin ve ve a, ''Seliah" kan lo ti ve ve hi a mak reuh ve mai mai.

2. Chawngtinlerhi fapa leh Greek ho Satyr leh Roman ho Faun

Chawngtinlerhi thawnthu ah khan lasi, ramhnuai leh ramsa te lal pasal a neih hnu ah a fa nausen nen a U an va tlawh a. A naute chu puanin a tuam tlat a, a U chu a naute ke lam en a phal miah lo tih kha awm kha. A U hnenah 'Ka naute ke I lo en chuan vawikhat mah min hmu tawh lo ang' a ti a, mahse a U chuan a en chak ta tlat a. A puan tuamna chu a phelh a, naute ke chu a enru ta a. Naute chu a lu lam chu mihring naute pangngai ni si kha a ke chu kel ke a lo nih kha.

Greek ho ramhnuai 'huai' Satyr ho pawh hi mihring lu leh kel ke an lo ni ve leh zel a. An ni ngaihdan pawh khan Satyr ho chu ramhnuai huai chikhat, 'woods and mountains' a cheng an ni a. A mak ve mai mai na chu, hetiang culture in ang lo lutuk, Greek ho lahin Mizo an awm tih pawh an hriat loh, Mizo lah Greek an awm tih pawh an hriat loh lai a, hetiang 'huai' - ram leh tlang vel a cheng, mihring lu leh kel ke nei kan lo nei ve ve hi. An lo awm tak tak thin emawni leh te ka tih phah rum rum.

Mahse Mizo in kan sawi tel ve loh, Greek ho version a tel ve ziah chu Satyr ho hi an *hur* hle tih hi :D An lem ziah re re ah pawh an shekshi thei hle. A tlip nan, satyr picture seksi tak bonus ah kan dah ang e :-)

:-)

Paranormal or not?

2010-08-02T13:35:00.007+05:30

For someone who grew up in Aizawl, I spent a lot of time in the forest as a kid. I lived in an area where half the kids were from farming families and therefore spent more time farming in the forest than they did in school so I was never short of company when the majestic green hills surrounding the city beckoned.

On no school days, it was only natural to sit on our vantage point in Chaltlang, point to some hill in the distance and just set out for it. There were many times these chosen destinations were much farther off than we assumed and night would fall on us while we're in the middle of the woods. We were never afraid, I remember walking through the woods with my friends with only the moonlight gleaming through the leaves, our only fear the scolding we would surely receive when we get home...

But there's this one time I and everyone else I was with got scared out of our wits. And it all happened on this hill -
It was during the school holidays, we were sitting around, listless kids trying to come up with something fun to do. Suddenly this boy, his name was Lallawmawma, piped up -'I know what to do! Let's go to Muthi tlang!' he said. There were a few questions, 'Isn't it too far?,' 'We don't even know the way..' and most importantly 'What's there to do?.'

Lallawmawma quickly put everyone's qualms to rest by proclaiming that he knew the way (even though he'd never been there), that the distance was more or less equal to our favorite swimming hole, and that the reason we should go there was because cinnamons grew there in abundance. Cinnamons! That wonderful, magical root and the best loved of all childhood treats. And when he said that we could dig up all the cinnamons we wanted to eat, plus more if we wanted to smoke them and we could bring along some old newspapers, no one needed further convincing.

We jumped up, appointed him king and leader for the day, put on our sandals and headed off in the direction of the hill. We faithfully followed in our hero's footsteps all the way up to Durtlang but when he started cutting through people's vegetable gardens, murmurs of doubt started to rise. But despite this we made him lead us far enough away from civilization that we could see houses no more and by then the sun was out in full force and we were all hot and thirsty.

And when we met two farmers and our fearless leader stopped to ask them the way to Muthi, we dethroned him immediately. We did find the rest of the way easily enough because there was only one tiny path in the forest to follow from there on anyway.

When we got to the forest, all the disappointments of Lallawmawma's failed leadership was forgotten. It was beautiful! A virgin forest, thick with trees, and the defamed king was right about the cinnamons. Except that they were either bitter or tasteless. I remember someone saying the plants were too young..We kept digging but we gave up after a while and just busied ourselves with the climbing of trees and the singing of songs and other such joyful activities.

Then what happened next was the weirdest thing ever! I was sitting on the branch of a tree with a friend, and the others were frolicking on the ground, some still digging, some singing at the top of their voices, me and my friend lustily joining in from our lofty perch..when suddenly, it grew really really dark. Almost like the darkness of an approaching thunderstorm but at an extra speed. It seemed like very thick, dark clouds were rolling in at the speed of a plane.

We were all a little scared, but calm still because we thought it was just going to rain. Then suddenly there came this sudden gust of wind blowing through the forest. It was total chaos, the wind was so loud, there were leaves being blown about everywhere, the girls were crying at the top of their voices. The wind was so strong the tree we were sitting on went crashing down, but it was not a violent crash, and luckily it was not a tall tree and the earth was really soft so we were unhurt. I was really worried about my younger sister so I immediately ran looking for her, everyone else was also running around in panic it was not easy finding her.

Then as suddenly as it started, it all stopped, everything went quiet, the wind was gone, and the sun was shining in through the trees again. It seemed to me like it all started in the blink of an eye and stopped in the exact same way and lasted only for a few minutes.

But it was eerily quiet after it was over, no birds chirping, no soft breeze rustling through the trees. I saw my sister, grabbed her hand and held on tightly. For some reason I was filled with terror, and apparently everyone else was too because no one wanted to stay anymore. Just as we were walking out of the wooded area, we saw a flock of these big geese-like birds flying out of the forest overhead. They were blackish/greyish in color and scary looking as hell. After that, we pretty much fled from that evil scene of darkness.

When me and my sister told my mom that night about the wind, and how the tree went down, and how the forest shook and how it all stopped so suddenly, she only laughed. I think she thought we just had overactive imaginations and we were blowing everything up. I was disappointed that she didn't seem to think anything was strange. I got a little sense of satisfaction when we got to the birds part and she said "That's weird!" But then she said the birds were probably 'Kawlhawk' and that they were was a common sight in the villages.

I don't know anything about Kawlhawks (what are they called in English?) because I've never seen one. And even if I saw one now it wouldn't mean anything because my memory of the birds that day is all hazy, and I remember no specifics except their size and color.

Sometimes when I meet some of the friends I was with that day we still bring up that incident and wonder. Did we indeed experience something out of the ordinary, or was it merely that our impressionable young minds misunderstood a regular weather phenomenon? Or was it the force of some paranormal activity? I guess we'll never know...

But you know, I guess the real horror story in life is the ravages of time. Two of those children I was with that day have been dead for over 10 years now, our fearless leader is now a raging drug addict and can no longer be considered sane, and will never again lead a troop of hopeful children to any magical place. And the rest of us? We may be alive but none of us can be made happy with just a few sweet puffs of cinnamon cigarettes anymore...

Well that's it. What do you think? What happened that day?

Pictures of Mizoram again

2010-07-25T19:42:00.018+05:30

Because I'm still homesick and I can't get enough of these pictures yet and it's a lazy Sunday evening and I have nothing to do.

Here's one of the beautiful Tlawng river -
Water, water everywhere...
My two greatest loves who make missing home more intense than ever -
Jonathan on his little throne :)
The chillies I planted when I was home in March had full grown chillies this time when I went home, and they produced such weird-looking chillies!
I love geraniums too. Funnily enough, Bozo seems to like them too. To eat. He would chomp the leaves off every morning so we had to move all the pots where he couldn't reach them.
Of course, not all's fair and lovely. There are buildings coming up every freaking corner now :(
But still, to have your own micro kitchen garden! Who knew celeries could grow so well in pots! And out here, they're so expensive. There a few pots yield more than you can eat.
The neighbor's plants are thriving too. Especially the marijuana plants :)
The day I was supposed to fly to Kolkata. Needless to say, the flight was canceled because of dangerously low visibility.
But when the fog clears, the mountains are gorgeous as always.
And there was such an abundance of rainbows, practically everyday.
And last - something to teach you that you must never fall asleep while there are troops of excited football-watching youngsters around :)

Tagged - 10 things about a guy that makes my heart skip a beat

2010-07-22T16:49:00.007+05:30

Following up on Aduhi's tag with gusto. Here's my list of the ten things I love about men and if you know of a guy where all of these ten qualities come together in divine splendor, please get me his number :)

1. Nice hands with clean nails (Aduh, I swear I'm not copying from you!). I want his hands to look like an intellectual's even if he's a monkey wrench by profession.

2. I don't like it when a man yaps more than a woman. Which is really unfair of me I guess, being such a talker myself. Maybe when it's just the two of us it's fine, but if we're in a group and I look across the table at a yakkity-yakking man, that's not something that's going to make me burn for him.

3. I'd love it if he loves animals as much as I do so we can happily watch Animal Planet together :) And if he could share my passion for dogs, he'd be God in my eyes but even if he doesn't, I don't want him to put 'food' and 'dogs' in the same category.

4. Funny is a must. Not just in the 'make me laugh' way, but I want to see him doubling up with laughter at my little inane jokes.

5. Hearty appetite's important too. There is something uber sexy about a man eating food, lots of it. (And you also know all that food's going to be converted into energy ;-))

6. A man obsessed with fashion and excessive personal grooming is very off-putting for me. I don't want my man to smell more feminine than I do, or his hair has more highlights than mine, or more mousse, you know, the works. I'm including this here because there's so many of these types these days, damn those beauty mags madly promoting the metrosexual male!@

7. A certain degree of intelligence. Doesn't necessarily have to be 'educated' with fancy degrees but just possesses some natural smarts. Dumb is not sexy.

8. I think I've fallen in love with men just for the beauty of the words that come out of their mouths so yeah, I don't like it but I'm an absolute sucker for clever little wordsmiths.

9. Harworking. It's not like I expect him to do the laundry or cook or anything, but I want him to walk into his office and put everyone to shame. Lazy men who can just sleep all day and night - a very big NO!

10. Middle eastern accents :D There. I said it. You can stone me now.

Love and poetry

2010-07-21T21:21:00.007+05:30

You remember when you first read that beautiful poetry that touched you in such a special way? It made you feel dizzy, tears came to your eyes for no reason, every word left deep imprints on your soul, and your heart felt so full with its beauty it could burst with the immensity of it all. You keep reading it, wallowing in the warm feelings, the heart wrenching profundity of the poet's every line...

Then time passes by, and in the complexity of life you lose touch with it. And you can't read your poem as often as you used to. Then suddenly you read it again and you just can't see anymore what about it made you love it so much. Because nothing about it touches your heart anymore. The words are still beautiful, you still see the cleverness with which the writer crafted the words to make them rhyme... But what about it really made your soul cry? You search the poem, and within yourself, but you don't find it.

And you read it again. And again. But you just don't get it anymore. You're just reading a really beautifully written poem but that's all. The magic is lost. Nothing triggers any special emotion in you.

Well I think being in love is just like that. It's just hopeless once the magic wears off. Sometimes you can't find the magic in the object of your adoration, and sometimes I guess the subject of your adoration can't find it in you. I don't really know. I'm not an expert. But I know falling in and out of love is just like poetry. It's really sad and beautiful. All at the same time.

Check out my new blog, pretty please with sugar on top :)

2010-07-21T12:58:00.004+05:30

This is an invitation to all the ladies to please visit my (co-owned with others) new site Shaolin Monkee's Blog. Don't judge it by the name, it just pulled that from my username which is a username I use across my favorite sites like eBay :) and I haven't bothered to change it.

It's just a place for the chicas to swap ideas and tips on where and how to shop etc etc. It's fun. Check it out. Anyone can be a contributor as well so that's an added bonus. And because I'm lazy, for more details, I'll just copy paste the blog's 'About' section -

I’m making this blog so the ‘real’ average Indian women can talk about affordable and cheap women things because beauty magazines insist on making us believe that the average Indian woman earn 4 lakhs a month or all have money-laden generous daddies or millionaire boyfriends and they make me angry because they write about affordable shoes for the real Indian women while listing out Rs 20,000 shoes and ugly dresses that cost Rs 35,000 and Rs 7500 bras and Rs 5000 compacts but we the real average Indian women know that they are just being ditzy because in reality it’s just dumb and for a single really average clothes-and-shoes-and-cosmetics-loving Indian chick the things they say you must own would only lead to us sleeping out on the streets. Whew. Yep. Real life. And this is a really average Indian girl speaking.

Any men who might want to hop and skip over, you're also welcome :-)

The real life in pictures

2010-07-18T19:14:00.023+05:30

Hello! I'm back in Hyderabad. Again. I'm tired, I'm a spotted freak, I feel sick, I am officially a pauper, and I have nothing I feel like writing about so just for the sake of being undead I will post some pictures - also as is running tradition. And also because we all can never get enough of pictures of life in Mizoram.

First, my adorable nephew :) I'll forever be grateful to my sister for having him because even though he's only been on this earth for 9 months, I can't understand how we were ever happy without him before he came along.

And of course, it's only fair that I share pictures of where I spent the most time which was the Sih Tuikhur. Lovely isn't it?

I couldn't get enough of the lushness and greenness and the organic-ness of the place. And all the warm memories it awakens. I'd go there to wash clothes (well...to be very frank, I only helped others with the laundry) but I went mostly to wash my hair and soak my feet in the pure unprocessed spring water and to just be free and happy. There were Himalayan Balsams (ram nuaithang) blooming everywhere - pretty and natural like the water.The clear (albeit algae infested) water -
I remember many nights when we were kids sleeping over at a friend's who lived very close to this tuikhur (watering hole). After her parents were asleep, we'd steal out of the house, quietly tiptoe down to the tuikhur, trembling - half with excitement, and half with fright (it was always supposed to have many resident spirits after all), take off our clothes to commit the forbidden act......of jumping into the tuikhur :) We'd sit there, shivering in the icy water, in utter darkness with only the sound of the wind in the trees and crickets chirping and frogs croaking and swap schoolgirl secrets. Then we'd creep back to her room and jump under warm blankets and fall into peaceful sleep. And in the morning the water would be clear and undisturbed and no one would know that three little girls had 'swam' in the water in the night.

The area used to be thicker with trees and bamboos when we were kids but I was glad to see some bamboos still standing despite the fact that there was now a big school where there used to be plum trees to steal big juicy plums from, chestnut trees, wild berry bushes where we'd hog till our stomachs gave up and we'd all end up with the runs.

And for Bozo too, my city apartment dog, this place was paradise. He'd trot off chasing butterflies and green and blue and red dragonflies, and looking at him romp about I swear he could tell this was fresh air he was breathing, different from the polluted air he's used to. It made me very happy to see him so..happy.

In any case, for all of us who never get to spend enough time at home, I want to remind you all of how beautiful it is out there. When the sun is setting and the earth is still damp from rain and the cool mountain breeze is blowing in your face, and you're standing on top of a hill looking down at Aizawl knowing you're looking at home, there is no other place in this world more special than this. Or prettier. Maybe it's the kind of pretty you feel, not see. Which is even better because I would hate it if it looked as pretty to a person who's seeing it for the first time as it does in my eyes. That's right. No joke. I'm a jealous possessive bitch.

And don't forget the sky people! Folks out here don't get treats like this that we so often take for granted out there. I think even the clouds love us better because they never bother to dress up when they come out here :P In fact, they're rather drab and dull always, people don't even bother looking at them. And there you can just stare at the clouds for hours on end...

So don't forget to salute the land and the setting sun for such a spectacular display of beauty. And do it with your friends because you get a few laughs out of it as well, and that's good for your hearts :)

Well for someone who said she doesn't have a lot to say, I've said a lot. And I'm only stopping now because stupid Picasa is acting up. Well, I'll be working from home for the next few days and I'm going to be bored out of my wits so I'll be posting regularly anyway so let Picasa sulk. I'm going to borrow a burqa from the lady next door and go out for dinner.

Tokyo Drift :)

2010-06-15T11:19:00.022+05:30

Konnichiha! I am back and I have decided out of the few countries I've been to, I, without a doubt, like Japan the best! Okay I may be exaggerating a bit but I did like it very very much. Anyway here are some pictures who'll do half the talking.

One highlight of the trip - I got a chance to meet our very own ruolngulworld! I also got to meet his lovely family. They took me to church - A bit of sightseeing - (Tokyo Tower)
And his lovely wife helped me shop, and then they took me to this little restaurant where I had the best meal of my life. Ever. I'm not exaggerating. Kobe beef, darlings, is everything it's hyped up to be and more! In fact, I think I'm a little sad because now that I know how utterly amazing Kobe beef is, I will feel its absence from my life that much more strongly, knowing that I have to live my life missing out on the best meat in the world :(

Also another highlight - I got to celebrate my birthday in Tokyo! And it was a birthday I will never ever forget in my life. My friends insisted we had to usher my birthday in properly so I got my ass dragged to Roppongi (famous as home to the rich Roppongi Hills area and an active night club scene, says Wiki) And wonder of wonders! Guess what we found when we got there? It was ladies night! A little unlike our ladies nights here because they give you free Champagne all night long :)

I have an obsession with blue flowers, I can even spend hours Googling pictures of blue flowers. It's great to have friends that know you well, because at midnight I got the bluest, prettiest flower I've ever seen in real life. I wanted to bring it back home with me, but it was merely a corpse by the time we left. And all the bling bling on the hair were also gifts from people who know about my new passion with hair ornaments.

(Also note the tinyness of the corriders of our hotel room. And all these times when people would talk about real estate issues in Japan, I always thought they were kidding!)

Luckily, we got to move in to our much more nicer, company-paid hotel the next day. So on my birthday I checked in to my hotel room, and ta-da! Now this one had plenty and plenty of space as you can see :)

And the view from my room wasn't too bad either :P

To be honest, my room was so amazing I actually wondered if the organisers made a mistake and thought I was some big shot Googler and gave me the best room in the hotel :)

Anyway, after basking in the comfort of our hotel room's linen, we went to this place I'll just call the Samurai village. The entry fee was pretty steep, a little over 2000 Yens. But once you get in, wow! They make you remove all your clothing, then they make you choose a kimono, then they make you choose a sash you want to wear with your kimono. Well they were more like Yukatas than kimonos but it's all the same to me anyhow.

Then you enter the village, where everyone is dressed in traditional Japanese clothing, complete with Japanese folk music and everything. Little stalls, restaurants, hot springs, gardens - it was almost like traveling into the past and being in a real Japanese village. And oh, I have to mention all of these were indoors.

This was out in the gardens where we had our hot foot bath.

We tried everything - hot stone baths, Japanese head spas, Sake...It was the best birthday I've ever had by far! (Until it was time to leave the village and you see your check and it says 16,000 yens :P - and this doesn't include the entry fee!). But where else in the world would I get a chance to loll about all day wearing a kimono. And look, I even tied my belt myself. Pretty good job for a first timer don't you think?
We hunted for a Karaoke bar around the hotel area all dressed up later at night but we were unsuccessful. Instead we found a bunch of friendly locals who took us to a bowling alley and we hung out with them all night instead.Oh I should also mention this park near our hotel where Shirley was stalked by a cat one evening. Pretty as hell, but so quiet and foreboding we'd get all jumpy and nervous and keep turning around to see if there's someone walking behind us (but there's never anyone). And conversations would turn to 'Samara' and other dark characters and we'd all freak out. But the thing is, it's really pretty and we can sit there undisturbed and practise our 'Kawai' poses, like so :) And then we had the company Glo party where everyone glowed the night away...

Everyone headed off to Roppongi once again after the Glo party was over. It was kind of funny running into different colleagues every few metres at 3:00 AM on the streets.

Here's Shirley on our way back to the hotel after the party -
And yes, Japan is truly the land of the rising sun. It was around 4-ish when we were leaving and the sun was already up or something...:P

And I'm going to go on forever so my last picture - just to show off. I finally got all the stuff I wanted after much running around - my very own Yukata, Geisha hair ornaments, and very kawai, pink, frilly, lacey sandals :P And I also saw the real Hachiko's statue!

Well this was really long but this was just a summary. I want to post pictures of food, and write about a couple of 'Ladies changing room' and 'Ladies shower' incidents. And yes yes, of course I'll dedicate the latter part to you Kim Kim :P

This fantasticacity that is my life :P

2010-06-04T09:56:00.005+05:30

(I know fantasticacity is not a word, but I couldn't care less right now. In any case, I think it should be.)

In other news.......woohoo! Check out my sweet new Nexus One!

That's right! Yours truly has been gifted one last Christmas by her employer. Doesn't matter if it came 5 months late. My LG phone sucks and I've been hating it forever and it is falling apart and I will be glad to be able to finally dump it. Off with the old, on with the new and many cheers to the shiny new Nexus!

And I'll also finally be flying tonight to Tokyo with my free tickets with my new Android buddy that I got for free. I will think of you all when I hit it up in Tokyo. I will try to remember what about my life makes me unhappy when I check in to my free swanky hotel room. I will try to miss everyone while sipping Champagne on the luxurious poolside. Heck, maybe I'll even say out loud 'I miss Hyderabad..' while watching the sun rise sitting on top of Mt. Fuji. And while I'm soaking in the volcanic hot springs on the island of Shikinejima, I may even sigh sadly and wipe a pretend tear from my face.

Har har har! :D

Who are we kidding? We all know I will not think of India or any of you at all for the one week that I'm there. No offence. But you know, when you think about the fantasticness that is my life, you'll see I can be forgiven for it all.

Now don't go envy me too much though. My life isn't as awesome as I make it sound like. I'm photosensitive and it's true sometimes I get bad headaches. See? Not perfect at all :P

Anyway, jokes aside, I am really happy to be getting this phone, and super excited about Japan. I've got a packed schedule waiting for me, and I can't wait to come back and tell you all about it! (And I'm only teeny weeny slightly uneasy about the dream). Keep me in your prayers and wish me luck!

And to share with you the prayer I'll be keeping in mind (knowing my crazy ups and downs and the unpredictability of life) -

When I think I'm going under, part the waters Lord

When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea

When I cry for help, O hear me Lord and hold out your hand

Touch my life, still the raging storm in me

Sayonara!

This confusion that is my life

2010-06-02T19:00:00.004+05:30

Sometimes I read an email, or hear someone talking to me from the other end of a phone line, and ALL I hear are things like 'clicks and impressions,' 'core value propositions,' pitches and clients and proposals and market analyses, I suddenly realise that I AM very much and well and truly in sales!

How did it happen and when, I wonder frantically. But alas, everything about the last 5 years of my life is just a big blur, and I can't recall how I got to where I am now no matter how much I prod these tired grey cells. They remain impassively unresponsive.

Come to think of it, these old guys never seem to fire off those amazing synaptic energy the way they once did anymore. I'll let you in on a little secret - one of my biggest fear now is having to take an IQ test. I know I am incapable of any sentient functions, and therefore, the thought of it horrifies me. And I know my result will mercilessly tell me that I am below average. But hush! I'm still trying to fool people into thinking that I have amazing intellectual prowess. A losing battle but still...Admitting that I fear an IQ test just won't do me any good. No good at all.

You know, I believe it may have been a case of simple mind-control. What did they use? Mind-altering gas, fungus, or arthropods? What? But whatever the technique used was, it left me in a drugged state during which time I was taken and had my entire systemd re-wired and voila! the salesperson was born. But now maybe because the drugs is slowly wearing off, I occasionally wake up and dazedly look for the 'me' I know but she's nowhere in sight.

She was going to be a great Scientist. She was going to study African Mountain Gorillas in the mountains of Rwanda, take up their cause, protect them, fight for them, love them and be loved by them. She was going to be just like Dian Fossey! To put it simply, she was going to live a great and giving life! Whatever happened to her?!

Well, there's no point in looking for fossils in a place where modern technology resides. In any case, there is a blip on my calendar that says I have a meeting to go to. Yes, even though it is 8:30 pm. I'm going to go listen to great sales people talk about global media sales. Wowza! I am bubbling over with excitement. Hurrah for me! Hurrah for all this exhilaration!

Where's Freud when you need him?!

2010-05-24T13:47:00.004+05:30

Waaahh! I am sooo scared!! And I'm not being a cry baby, this is really, truly frightening!

One night last week, I had a dream about being in an airplane with my friends. And it was a happy dream, we were having fun and then it was suddenly night, everything was dark and as I looked out the window, I saw the wing was on fire, and then there was fire inside, and the plane was veering off in some weird angle and I knew I was going to die in a plane crash and I was filled with such intense fear it woke me up, and I woke up with my heart pounding.

The dream made me a bit uncomfortable, but I put it down to me being over excited about our upcoming Japan trip and went back to sleep and didn't think much about it the next day.

Then this Saturday morning, I had another disturbing dream. I have this stalker who gives me missed calls at odd hours. This Saturday morning he picked 5:30-ish to give me a call and woke me up. I got up, went to the bathroom, and got back into bed and almost immediately fell asleep again. And dreamt.

I was again in a plane with my friends, cheerful, lots of chatter, lots of laughing. As we were taking off, the plane instead of climbing higher started to go down, and we thought we were landing again for some reason so we were all a little scared but we were all like "Oh lucky they found something was wrong before we were too high up in the air. Now we can still land and they'll fix it and we'll be okay."

But as we were landing, the plane was skidding all over the place and it was shaking and rattling and we were just going faster and faster..And I was looking out the window I knew the plane was crashing and I was going to die and I was thinking "Oh my god! I am really going to die in a plane crash!"

And that's all I remember. It just stopped there and I woke up, but I woke up feeling not quite right because the dream was so vivid I was still feeling considerably shaken. Going back to sleep was out of the question so I got up, made myself a cup of tea and watched TV for a few minutes (National Geographic, not the news unfortunately). However, I still couldn't concentrate, I was feeling so restless for no apparent reason I turned off the TV and got my laptop and logged on to check my mail and read the news.

And then that's when I found out that earlier on in the morning, more or less around the time I had the dream, a plane had crashed in Mangalore and almost everyone on board had died.

I believe I had some sort of premonition about the Mangalore crash for whatever reason . Or maybe when the plane was crashing, those poor people inside, their fear was so intense it pervaded the atmosphere, and there I was sleeping, mind free and receptive - radar open technically - and I picked up on the strong emotions in the air?

But whatever, I'm totally freaked out over my Japan trip now as well. I've never ever even remotely been afraid of flying, but now I don't think I'm going to feel confident about stepping inside an airplane. And such a long journey at that :((

I used to have these dream things a lot when I was a kid. Mostly little things, like dreaming about finding a five rupee note near my school gate, and I would find it the next day in the spot that I dreamed about, or dropping my shiny new pencil box and it breaking into pieces and the next day my pencil box falls and breaks into pieces. I was always dreaming clear, vivid dreams, my sisters would kiddingly call me 'Mangnei-i' because every morning I would wake up and say 'I had this dream..' 'I saw this in my dream..' bla bla

And then when I was 17, I dreamt about someone's death. I don't even want to talk about this much it was a very very disturbing incident. And it scared me so much I used to pray every night before I sleep and ask God to not let me have dreams after that. And it's stopped since then.

Well that's all. It's all been so weird and strange I just feel like writing it down. You know something else that's been making me really uncomfortable? I was in the kitchen and the TV was on about the crash, I think they were talking about the top 7 worst airplane disasters or something like that. I could only get snippets, and finally I was done cooking and I went and sat in front of the TV - just when the reporter said "The number one deadliest air crash was in 1985 when a Japan Airlines plane traveling from Tokyo to Osaka..."

It's true I'm excited about going to Japan, but I've been to other places that I was more excited about and I never dream about it this way. I don't have any fear of flying, I can't think of any reason why I would dream such things, I don't know what in my life could trigger my sub-conscious to bring up these things in my dream. Maybe I'm just really psychic.

These Foolish Things

2010-05-21T18:50:00.004+05:30

Why does life have so many moments that you want to bury 6 feet under the ground and never enough moments that makes you swell with pride so much so that you want to frame it and keep it for everyone to see? :( When I look back on my life, the recent or not so recent past, there are so many things that make me cringe in shame and embarrassment or guilt. Like right now, I can think off the top of my head of several things I so wish I hadn't done, such as -

* Dancing on the table a few nights back when we were celebrating Matt's birthday at the Hard Rock. I'm glad my friends get as foolish as I do and join me on the table when I ask them to :)

* I sang 'It's raining men' at the top of my voice with Rashi on karaoke for Juvita's farewell party last night. Totally fun, I swear everyone in the place danced when we sang. But still, I wish I had let Rashi sing on her own.

* Missing an ex terribly and conjuring up and getting lost in 730 days worth of memory just because I saw him glowing online for 10 seconds.

* I sent a ranting, anger-filled text message to someone who was merely drunk or stupid in the middle of the night last night. I wish I'd handled that better. Some people can't help it if they can't understand that their jokes might hurt someone :P

* Sending curt and rude emails to my boss almost on a daily basis.

* My mom thinks skydiving, scuba-diving, jungle surfing were really really stupid things to do. She thinks it was crazy and reckless of me to have risked my life unnecessarily for unimportant things like that. She may be right.

And many more. And you know, the worse ones, the type that really tortures you are the ones you never want to talk about, forget posting about it.

So yeah, that's me. I'm always too loud, I always laugh too much and too loudly, and I definitely talk too much. And I love to dance and sing, and it is very easy for me to go overboard with both, and I should check myself but I never do.

The worst part in all of these is that if I lived my life all over again, I think I would still dance on the table, or do my karaoke thingies, or go skydiving, or laugh too loudly. I can't think of a 'me' without all of these, I just wouldn't be me. Now I'm really starting to understand what it means to 'try to learn to truly love yourself' because I'm going to try and accept all of these about myself, and that is quite a challenge.

Good luck to myself!

:-)

Thil eng eng emaw sawi mai mai teh ang

2010-05-13T20:49:00.002+05:30

Promotion ka hmu ve leh ta! He company a kum 4 leh a chanve vel ka thawh chhung a ka promotion hmuh vawi 4 na ani ta.

Tunah chuan corporate world ah kum 7 dawn ka lo awm ve tawh der mai. Kum 7 hi naupan lai khan an rei tehreng nen tunah chuan a tawi ta hle mai! Hriat loh hlan in a lo zo duak mai a, ngaihtuah a ti thui khawp mai. Ka hna thawh kual tawh zawng zawng te kan ngaihtuah hian ka lung te a leng rum rum...

Ka hna mumal thawh hmasak ber chu Food & Civil supply office ah peon hna kha a nia :-) Matric ka exam zawh result ka nghah laiin mi ai ka kal a. Private school ho ah ka thawk kual nasa tawh bawk. Chaltlang veng nula leh tlangval tunah chuan nu leh pa ni tawh te khi ka tuition pek tawh an tam hle bawk. A va senior theih em! :P

Delhi hna zawn lai te kha! Min reject nasa thei si, bei kha a dawng nasa thin ania aww...Unaunu Biteii hi vawikhat chu interview turin khawi office ah emawni an ko a, a rawn haw leh a sawi ka la hriat reng chu "Bathroom ah zung turin ka va kal a, bathroom silfai tu nu hi a lo ding a. Khanu lo ding te kha ka ngaihtuah a, ani hi chuan hna a nei bik ka ti a, ka awt ngawih ngawih khanu kha" a ti. Hna neih loh kha a hlauhawm em ani.

Google a ka thawh hma khan IBM Daksh ah khan kum 2 ka thawk a, Rs 8000 vel ka hlawh a. Kha kum 2 chhung khan promotion vawi khat mah min pe lo. Performance that lawmman chu ka dawng ka dawng a, mahse promotion hun chuan an cousin te, an brother-in-law te an promote zel. Ka ban dawn a ka resignation letter ka submit ni in kan Operations Manager in a room ah min ko lut a, ka promotion letter min han hmuh vel anih kha. An style kha lo uih ngawt mai!

Tuna ka thawhna company hi ka join lo teuh em em khawp a. Ka join nachhan ber chu dik tak chuan thlawhna ka chuan chak vang ani ta ber :)

A tir interview kha ka thianpa interview tur amah a kal hreh min kalpui rawh a tih avangin ka va kalpui a. Test te ka pass leh telephone interview te ka tlang ve zel hnu chuan Hyderabad a insawn ka duh dawn chuan loh avangin an HR ho bulah join ka tum loh thu ka hrilh ta a. Mahse "Kan hmu duh che a, Hyderabad ah I lo zin thei ang em thlawhna ticket kan rawn thawn ang che anga?" an ti chiah mai chu, ka aw rang khawp mai.

Tichuan unaunu Biteii'n thlawhna chuan dan tur zawng zawng te min zirtir a, airport chhung pawh vawikhat mah ka la hmuh ngai loh avangin ka hlau vel vek sia. Mahse keimah chuan Delhi airport atang chuan ka thlawk chhuak ve ta ngei a. Hyderabad airport kan thleng chu, driver form nalh tawkin sign lian takin 'Miss Jerusha, Google' tih a lo keng ka va hmu chu, ka boruak hip changkang vel ta lutuk ka inhmeh loh lutuk avangin ka kal te pawh a buai vek hialin ka hria. Car nalh tawk in office ah min hruai a, ka haw lehna tur ticket nen ka driver chuan airport ah zanah min thlah leh thlap bawk a.

Hemi zawh hi chuan ka ngaisang tawh lutuk a ka interview last na tur Google India Director, sap pa lehngal in phone a min rawn interview tur chu ka tlin loh ka hlau nasa tawh. Sap la be ngai lo tih takah sap anih na ringawt te khan min va ti huphurh zual tak! Chutih lai a Director chu

hepa hi ani a, a lo chhe lo reuh em em mai lehnghal a, laihna tizual turin :P

Mahse Pathian zarah ani hian ka tawng buai lutuk te chu min khawngaih nge pawh ka hre lo, min tlin tir ve ta mai a. Ka thawh hnu ah phei chuan kan inti tha ta zek a. Tunah chuan Google pumpui ah User Ops ah Director a ni tawh. Tunthleng hian India a a rawn zin chang pawhin ka hmingin min la ko thei. Mi lal deuh ka nih hunah chuan a ni ang chiah nih hi ka duh.

Heta ka thawh chin hi chu ka hlim ta em em tlangpui :) Ka beisei phak ngai lohin, ka passport ah te stamp pakhat mai pawh ni lo engemaw zah te a awm ve ta thliah a. Thlawhna la chuang ngai miah lo kha, keimah te in sap ramah te hlau miah lo in ka zin kual ka zin kual ve a. India ram ah leh phei chuan 'Ka van chuang peih lo tak' te kan han ti vel a. Ka rilru ah hetia thlawhna chuan ka nin apiang hian ka chuan chak theih zia ka ngaihtuah chhuak a, Pathian ka zah thin. Chhungte awh ang te, duh ang te han leisak ve theih hi te hi ka inring pha ngai lo.

Kum 4 leh thla 7 chhung a promotion vawi 4 hmuh hi thil awl ai a ni lo bawk a, mi zawng zawng hmuh mai mai loh thil ani.

Heng zawng zawng hi Pathian min pek ani tih hi ka hria. Mahse ka tlin loh na ka in en hian, a nasa lutuk a, ka thil sual tih zawng zawng te, Pathian hian engatinge malsawmna hian min la vur reng le ka ti a, Pathian ka zah a, ka phu loh malsawmna min pek zawng zawng te hi ka ngaihtuah chian chuan ka zak thin a. Mahse thil dang zawng ai chuan, engvangin nge heng malsawmna hi min pek duh le tih hi ka zawhna tam ber ani.

Mahse chung zawng zawng a chhanna ka hmuh chu, sualin phu thlawt lo mah ila, Kraws thihna avangin Pathian mit ah chuan ka hlu in ka lo la mawi ve ngei ani! A mit ah ka hlut miau avangin heng malsawmna te hi ka tan Lalpa hian a lo la phal a ni.

Danglamna a awm lo ve

Kraws thisen hlu ah chuan

Kan mawhphurhna thai bo an ni

Chu chu ka hlutna

Chutah chuan ka mawi ani

Keizawng hlutna ka nei lo

Keizawng mawina ka nei lo

Mahse Kraws thihna avangin

Ka hluin ka mawi a ni.

Romancing the food

2010-05-05T12:53:00.002+05:30

I found out while tidying up my folders last night that I have a LOT of pictures of food. I love food, but more than anything, I like how each food or its picture makes you think of a particular place, time, event, or even people that you normally don't even think of. So here are a few of my favorite ones, the food or the memory associated with them.

There was this one little man who ran a little cafe next to an apartment I stayed in for 3 months. His name was Carmelo and he made the bestest pancakes in the world. 'Good morning girls!' he'd greet us every morning, and the image of his big, juicy pancakes with the big, juicy bacons and maple syrup just make me happy!

I miss that man and his pancakes!

This "Thai" meal in the picture below was cooked by a Malaysian friend, and it was a really fun night. There were a lot of people who turned up unexpectedly for dinner and we didn't have enough noodles and the stores were all closed, so we put pasta in the pad thai noodles, and it was better than most Thai noodles I've had before. What do you call that? Ithai food? :)
And praise the Lord for putting such wonderful things in the sea! Seafood is all about warm, sunny places, interesting people and good times that go on forever! I love seafood, and the best places to get the best seafood from are friendly little huts on pretty little beaches that make cheap but amazing food. That's why I like Goa so much. I got this meal below from some ramshackle beach hut and it cost me only Rs 50/- and it was one of the best meals I'd ever had.

There's nothing that comes from the sea that I won't eat. Except for nemertean worms. AndEchiuran worms I think...

Now Indian food. This is something I can't quite make up my mind on. I have this sort of love-hate relationship thing with Indian food. And to focus on the hate part, one thing I hate more than anything - the baffling rule of overcooking all vegetables beyond recognition. Seems almost like the main purpose is to cook the vegetable for so long and with the exact same spices and in so much oil that they all end up tasting exactly the same. When they fry carrots and beetroots, you have to wonder if the cook was quite sane when he was preparing the meal. Tomatoes are also often subjected to abuse in some similar manner. And tomatoes, in my book, there are only 2 ways to have them. Raw, or like this -I do like the food in Kerala. we were hiking up the slopes of Silent Valley, and came upon this little roadside shack where they offered only one meal - rice appam and duck egg with chutney and tea. Don't know if it was because of the physical exertion but it tasted amazing and to be honest, they don't look all that enticing now.

Some other Keralite food - coconut based porridge type thing, chickpeas, and some sweet banana type jam.

And that's all I have to say about Indian food.

These are Churros and I love them with chocolate and ice cream sauce and strawberries and I'll be forever thankful that we don't get them here in India (or at least in Hyderabad) :P The road to overweight hell is paved with such things.And moving away from food types and on to food timings - according to me, the best time to truly dedicate oneself to the process of ingestion is when one is down in the dumps. I'm such a comfort eater I think if I was an inherently unhappy person, I'd weigh like a ton right now. If I'm blue, I'd definitely order more food than I could eat and then sit and mope in the company of my food.

Picture below is of me and a meal I'd just ordered in my hotel room at the Hilton, San Francisco. It's also easy to order more than you need when your company is paying for the meal :-) (and when you're in the U.S. The size of the food servings there - Omagah!) I was obviously not very happy here I guess. That meal I ordered was big enough for 5 people.
Then of course, pictures like the one below are the diet foods you switch to immediately after you go through your happy-eating phase. Fortunately, I even like my diet meals (or maybe unfortunately?)
And if you've never gone wine tasting in your life, you're missing out on a LOT!
Sometimes you eat some fancy meal in some fancy restaurant, and then you look at the pictures later and just feel sad that you cannot remember anything about that expensive meal, the taste or the people you were with or which city exactly you had that meal. Meals such as these -

Then there are really good restaurants where you had the time of your life as well as the meal of your life. Amazing pork knuckles below in some German restaurant were expensive but worth it all because I still remember how good that was.

Round white things are some Lotus bread thingies, gooey one is some soyabean based dessert, and dark on on corner is sticky rice wrapped in leaves that we Mizos use to wrap Bekang. Some Chinese place in Melbourne.

Yum chas, or Dim Sums, or Sui Mais, or (my personal fav) Momos :)

And of course chicken feet. My host ordered this hoping to get some fun by grossing me out, but how can you gross someone who's eaten chicken feet all her life by ordering a chicken feet dish for her? Nothing gross about this for Mizos.

Bavarian pastry! "Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels.." goes the song in the Sound of Music. I used to wonder what an apple strudel was, what it looks like, tastes like and unfortunately, it did not taste as divine as the one in my dreams. I liked the other pastry stuffed with poppy seeds on the side better.

But without a doubt, the best food in the world to me will always be Mizo food. Hastily prepared, simple, plain Mizo food is better than the most elaborate expensive meal the best restaurant can serve.

And the ones that are not available to you normally all year round, such as these! I would pay quite a lot of money to be able to eat these Zawngtahs right now! Chil ti put!

Chakawk, hmarche te rawt, Tuaitit - as I continue to salivate...

And of course, let's end this with the all important trip to the Bara Bazaar second-hand lane because the 'chow sa tui leih' and 'Channgban kan' they make in those tiny, humble eating places are the real reasons we all make our trips home to Mizoram!

Lucky it's lunch time now :-) I'm off!

Just because...

2010-04-26T16:06:00.007+05:30

Once I had the rarest rose

That ever deigned to bloom

Cruel winter chilled the bud

And stole my flower too soon

Oh loneliness!

Oh hopelessness!

To search the ends of time

For there is in all the world

No greater love than mine

Still falls the rain...

Still falls the night...

Be mine forever

Let me be the only one

To keep you from the cold

Now the floor of heaven is laid

The stars are bright as gold

They shine for you, they shine for you!

They burn for all to see

Come into these arms again

And set this spirit free

Love Song for a Vampire - Annie Lenox

Home or away?

2010-04-12T23:11:00.006+05:30

Here I am back from three blissful weeks at home. And right now all I want is to be back in Aizawl with my family. I miss the utter peacefulness of falling asleep next to my mother (yes, I confess I still sleep with my mom when I can). Seeing baby Jonathan's beautiful smile first thing in the morning, the perfect satisfaction of holding his little body close and taking in his baby smell. The never-ending talk and laughter with my sisters. The warmth of sitting around with friends and neighbors, drinking tea, watching LPS Muay Thai competition on TV...

There is nothing, absolutely nothing in this world that makes life more worth living than these!

Yet, despite all of these, something in me always wants to get out when I'm there. There's something there that makes me feel oppressed and 'chained up'. Maybe because there are no challenges that excite me, and I feel like the rest of the world closes up when I'm there and if I stay, I would be subjecting myself to a life of living out the rest of my existence in a tiny box where I can't breathe.

And there are little things I hate. Like how if straight hair is in, it just is not acceptable to have hair that blasphemously dares to curl in a messy mop around one's head even if that was the way God made your hair.

And how well you dress matters way too much, and how people judge you continuously on unimportant things - like how you wear your hair and what clothes you wear.

Or how that girl you grew up with who doesn't work who is married to someone who doesn't work who she have two kids with (who obviously don't work) is constantly being compared with you and she is always the bigger achiever because she is now married and have kids while you are disappointingly still childless and without a marriage certificate.

Or how they don't understand at all if your priorities are different from the priorities of the general population and dear daughter, neighbor girl, distant relative - listen to us! You must bend and change your ways and stay home like a good girl and get married and have kids whose education you'll never be able to afford because you don't know the right people and because you don't have relatives in high places, all the work you'll most likely get is in a private school where you'll earn Rs 3500 a month teaching kids that this is Cat, that is a mat, the cat sat on a mat, it is a fat cat, this is a bag, these are bags, the bag is on the table, there are Kuhvas inside the bag, there is a box of Khaini near the bag...

And I feel cursed and wretched because I can't stay there but everything I love and hold dear and close to my heart all belong there...

And you know how they always tell you how homesickness and the constant missing gets better with time? Well, that's a damned lie! I've lived away from home for more than ten years now, and there is not a single time that I don't shed a tear when I have to leave.

So I'm stuck here, unsure what to do, where to live. If only I had a private jet! That might make things easier...

How I found goodness in being a slob

2010-03-15T21:49:00.008+05:30

There is this one thing I do that I really hate...

When I go out, I mentally note all serious fashion faux pas that someone has made, and I'm ashamed to admit, even voice it out loud to my friends sometimes - under the faint belief that it's actually not mean when they're strangers. Like that lady who just walked in who should have left the overly chunky necklace at home, the young lady in the pretty dress who spoils everything because the heel of her shoes are funny looking, and oh my! check out the garishness of those wince-inducing heavily embroidered jeans the woman standing next to you is wearing! And that one there should have worn a top that covers her butt if she's going to wear those skin tight leggings!

It always starts out quite warmly enough. You know that warm, fuzzy, evil feeling we women get when we see our fellow women look bad in some way (even though no one will admit to it)? It all starts out like that, one moment you feel pretty smug, noticing everything from the loudly fake Louis Vuitton bag to the obscure lip liner that doesn't go with the lipstick shade. You feel good about yourself because you know you would never be so stupid as to make such blatant misses.

Or do you? Then you look at yourself, and the doubt starts creeping in. As your glee slowly dissipates, so does your confidence.

"Maybe I should have worn the beige shoes instead of the white ones?"

"Am I overdressed? Should I have kicked the heels and worn something more low-key?"

" Maybe I'm too casual and should have gone with the heels instead..."

Endless!

And as you squirm and fidget, you try to catch a glimpse of yourself on any surface that might remotely reflect your reassurance-hungry form. But alas! Once the seed of doubt has been planted, no reflection is ever kind. In the harsh light of the mall, your previously chic smoky blue bag now just looks cheap, plastic blue. And in the dim light of the restaurant, your pretty white dress now looks dull and old...

This never bothered me when I was younger. My wardrobe was always very exhaustive so I always dressed plainly and I didn't pay too much attention to what I wore. Of course, I loved pretty clothes as much as the next young girl but because you know you didn't have them, you just got comfortable with the ones you have. I hated fashion magazines and would not touch them with a ten foot pole. I viewed them as the source of all evil.

It's quite a different story now. I don't even feel like I have a choice. I work very hard during the week, and because I am single and I don't have kids whose education and clothes and food and diapers I have to pay for, if I earn myself a little extra money and the weekend comes around and there is nothing to do, what is a girl to do? :P

Now the house is littered with all sorts of fashion mags that I glance through (but still won't read though..I still maintain there's nothing in these magazines that is worthy of one's reading time :P). I just pick out items that I like so when the weekend comes I can go to the stores and pick them up. I fume in frustration when I fall in love with something and Hyderabad doesn't have the store. I will even go online to chase up on those items.

I have to admit here that this is a hard confession to make. It's like screaming out loud to everyone saying 'Oh look, see how vain and shallow I am.' *Sigh* But one has to face facts at times...when one feels like it, that is.

Anyway, what I'm coming to is that I think I have found a solution to this insanity. This bolt of wisdom came to me last weekend while out with a friend. We were going out for a movie and dinner and I'd dressed pretty carefully. The friend and I were hungry so we grabbed a tub of popcorn, cokes, and hotdogs even though we were a bit late.

We went into the completely dark hall, groped around for our seats, and in all of the fumbling around, I suddenly felt something sticky through my shirt. I touched the sticky area and to my horror, I realised that in all the hustle I had been lovingly hugging the mustard covered hotdogs against my shirt and now the mustard was appreciatively hugging me back!

I tried my best to get it off but by the time the movie was over and we walked out, I had a nice, big patch of yellow right on the front of my shirt. I was pretty conscious about it for awhile but after I realised that there was nothing I could do, I just accepted the fact that I looked pretty stupid and people were probably saying the kind of things I think or say about them. And surprisingly, I just sort of felt relieved.

And when I accepted that I looked stupid, I stopped noticing notice anyone else's clothes to criticize them. Maybe because I wasn't in a position to but it still was a good position to be in. Makes you a better human being.

So that's the gist of it all people. If you want to be a better, nicer human being, go sloppy! Seems like it's the only way to go :-)

My Cup Runneth Over...

Goodbye Corporate Laptop

For the Kims

Notes from the Katz Motel

Mizo thlai/thingkung/hnim etc leh an sap hming - Part 3

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What would you do with a billion dollars?

Old Letters

Cupcakes Vs. Male Strippers/Nepali Sex/Call Girls

Hugged by the Best

Choose Your destiny, Flawless Victory

Frogs legs and geoducks

Have birthday, will travel

Sh(e)aring My Sheep

PET Scans and Manali

Phantoma Sikret

On life

I Sing for Joy at the Work of Your Hands

Dr Doom and Soccer and Life in General

This swell life

Poor Balaam, poor donkey!

It's Valentine's day O white-livered ones

Just call me Masterchef

Say hello to the demons in my head

Motor Acid

Death and dying and all that crap

Why I'm not saving the world

Templates and iPads and iPhones

Need a new template. Help?

Hello 2011

Counting my 2010 blessings

Behind the clouds

So tell me what's a little rain?

If I Can Dream...

Drugs and dreams

And the waters still keep rising...

Muthilh theih loh manah

Do you make a good Malaysian?

Battle scarred but alive and kicking :)

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Bye-bye Thyroid and other body parts

Mizo thei leh thlai te leh an Sap (leh vai) hming

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Tagged - 10 things about a guy that makes my heart skip a beat

Love and poetry

Check out my new blog, pretty please with sugar on top :)

The real life in pictures

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This fantasticacity that is my life :P

This confusion that is my life

Where's Freud when you need him?!

These Foolish Things

Thil eng eng emaw sawi mai mai teh ang

Romancing the food

Just because...

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How I found goodness in being a slob

Top 10 Mizo Stories - IV

Top 10 Mizo Stories - III